Positive life changes -> bingeing

Hi, all. 5'7"/43 yo/F/SW 234-CW 207-GW 150.

A month ago, I got an amazing new job. I really needed this job. My family needed me to get this job. I feel valued and happy in the new workplace. But I'm facing some challenges in my weight loss journey, all related to this new job. I've gained 6 lbs back in the month I've worked here. I need to turn this ship around before it hits a weight-gain iceberg. I need some support from this dear community. (Also, I welcome advice.) So here's what's been going on:

1. Changes = stress = depression symptoms. Even though the change is positive, I am experiencing a recurrence of depression symptoms because major events send my brain reeling, apparently. I don't want to get back on meds because those make me gain even more weight, and I am cleared to be off them. (I got off my meds in 2020 and have been well since.) I know this period will pass, but right now I oscillate between frustration, weepiness, and feeling so overwhelmed, I think I might explode. It's hard to get up in the morning, and I am "powering through" at work. (The workload is manageable, but I am new and have to learn everything all at once.)
2. Stress = binge eating. If it's sweet, I stuff it in my gullet, even when I am not hungry or the food makes me feel sick.
3. Full-time desk job = sedentary life. Wow, I am unaccustomed to sitting for such long periods of time. When I was at home all the time, I kept busy and kept moving.
4. A never-ending bowl of chocolate sits in the breakroom at work. If it disappears, the admin assistant refills it, no questions about how quickly it disappears. I've been bingeing on it.
5. Long-ish commute = less time to go to the gym + exhaustion at the end of the day. (I do get 2 work-from-home days each week, though!) I leave for work at 6:45 am and it is a 15-20-minute drive to the gym, so getting a morning workout in is not feasible. I feel too guilty to go to the gym in the afternoon, as I have 2 kids, and 1 is young enough to miss me if I'm gone too long.
6. Exhaustion. Constant exhaustion. Early-waking insomnia + stress + sedentary lifestyle. OMG.
7. Foot pain from arthritis. My feet are killing me because I'm heavy. It's hard to walk a ton because my feet hurt. Lather, rinse, repeat.

Here's what I am doing to try to help myself. But your advice is welcome, as it is clearly not enough:

1. I reached out to my husband and my sister for support because I could feel that my mental health was off. They have been extremely supportive and loving. Hubby is carrying more of the load at home so I can take a breather every once in a while.
2. I just purchased some low-calorie snacks to keep at the office so I can avoid the Chocolate Bowl. My low-cal snacks are single-serve 120-calorie oatmeal packets and 30-calorie instant miso soup packets. I also cut up a carrot into sticks and bring it to work every day with peanut butter for dipping.
3. While I cannot eat vegan food for dinner because my family are all carnivores except for me, I've been eating mostly vegan food every day for breakfast and lunch. (Vegan instead of veg because of food allergies & sensitivities.) I do the "same breakfast" thing, meal prepping a tofu-potato-sweet potato-mushroom-bell pepper-garden greens scramble with nutritional yeast. I portion it into sandwich bags and freeze it. Every day, I grab one bag and put it into my lunch bag to have for breakfast. My lunches are usually those little microwaveable pouches of channa masala or similar Indian foods with tons of fresh veggies cut up as a side. Sometimes I bring a tuna sandwich instead of the pouches because it has a lot of protein.
4. My legs feel stiff and swollen if I sit still too long, and I fall asleep if I am not in motion. I've been popping up from my desk a few times a day and walking down the stairs from my 3rd-floor office to the first floor and back up again. When we aren't in the middle of a heatwave, I go outside and walk during my break time instead of doing other things. But right now it's jungle-hot out there, and I can't bear the heat enough to walk.
5. My desk adjusts to standing. I try to stand 1-2 hours of the day. The first hour and the hour after lunch are my stand-times because I don't want to get sleepy.
6. I've been trying to hit the gym on work-from-home mornings and on Saturdays, though I have not been consistent about it. Some days I just take a walk instead because I live in a beautiful place. But it's been hot and icky-sticky for a while now, so it's tough to get out. (Also, the AC is broken at my gym and it is stifling in there.)
7. I've gone back to meditation, which I used last time I struggled with anxiety and depression.

So, dear lose-it compadres, I need support, suggestions, anything ya got. Throw it at me.

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From where should I start my weight loss journey?

Hello! I'm 18 years old F 4'9'', current weight 165 lbs. So, I've always been pretty heavy since my childhood. But it wasn't that much of a big issue until I hit my pre-teens. I started gaining weight day by day, non-stop which made my mom super worried. She always talked to me about how badly I need to lose weight for my well being and stuffs but I never felt like paying any attention to her words. I gotta mention that I've taken many attempts to lose weight till this day in my life but failed to stay consistent to them. I tried different diets, used to do exercises (like walking and free hand exercises) too, though I never really liked them. But stopped after some time as always.

So, lately I, myself, started giving some thought about my weight and body. There was that day when I closely looked myself in the mirror for the first time probably and realized that I'm really really screwed up. It sucks tbh when I can't buy my favourite dresses or my old dresses don't fit to me anymore. I feel so bad and depressed but still I don't take any step. But these days I'm feeling like that I should do something about it fr this time. But the thing is that I tend to lose motivation so quickly. I feel like what's the point of doing it anyways? I'll never succeed. This kind of thoughts start barging in and I give up. So you can say, I'm screwed up both physically and mentally.

Still I've been searching up a lot about this weight loss stuffs for past few days and I'm so confused. Like, from where should I start? There are so many things on the internet and I don't know what to follow and what not. So, it'd be so helpful if some of you can give me some tips about how to begin and not lose hope. Though most of the time I feel like I won't be able to lose weight in my lifespan, I still have that 1% hope in me which tells me I'll be able to see a healthy me in the mirror one day. So, yeah I want to make the best use of my 1% hope now.

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How do you deal with the « you lost so much, wow » comments?

I changed my lifestyle in the last year and lost 75 pounds (34kg) since then. Of course, it’s a visible change (woman, 5.7 inches) and even if I still have a way to go to be at my gw, I’m proud of the work I have done to change my mindset about my body and relationship with food. That being said, when people see me after a while I get « impressed » comments and always feel happy yet sad. Today someone (a friend that a friend brought over) heard the friend talk about the big weight loss and the other person was all « whaaaattt this is so huge, congrats for this, this is impressive! Hey do you have a picture of you last year? » and I was like, seriously why would I want to show a person my body so you can say how bad it was and how it’s great that it changed?? I still met my awesome SO at this weight, made my way in grad school (still a phd student) and Im proud of all I did, that body even served me well. I’m glad of the work but also feel weird about the comments. How do you deal with those?

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Scared to Eat More Than 1400cal

23/F, 5’6”, SW: 225ish CW:156lbs GW:145lbs

I’ve been on a weight loss journey for the past 9 months and have managed to lose about 60 lbs with another 10 to go. For the first couple months I only focused on diet as I was too scared to go to the gym. For the past month or so, however, I’ve been consistently going to the gym 5-6 times a week. I’ll do 30 mins of cardio and then 45-60 mins of weight lifting. I still track my calories and have found myself having a really hard time eating more than 1400 calories (I’ve had 1,040 today). I know based on BMR calculations I should probably be eating more, but anytime I go above 1400 I start feeling guilty and will restrict myself to about 1000 the next day. I know this is not good in the long term, but it’s hard to get out of this mindset.

Has anyone gone through something similar? How did you get out of it?

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Has the result of your weight loss affected your mental health negatively?

Like does anybody feel resentful when you're treated better by your family members/friends? Functionally, nothing has changed. I still like the same things, listen to the same music, have the same hobbies and pig out if we're eating out on the weekends. Nothing has changed but my body; tall, broad, imposing with resting bitch face was always there. It just feels bad because you're still the same person at the end of your weight loss journey but you end up new to the people who have always been there. Has me all angsty, like I wasn't good enough before

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I feel disappointed with my weight loss.

EDIT:I also talked with some gym trainers and they said that losing the remaining fat i have around the waist is pretty much impossible without operation.

So around two years ago,i started to like doing exercise,mostly running around the neighbourhood.

After a few good months neighbours started talking to me saying that i am losing weight and looking good,i still talk with most of them and i really enjoy it.

I also started lifting weights and doing some abs exercises,nothing too crazy.

When i started i had around 220 pounds(100 kgs) and lost 88 pounds,i still maintain that weight.

I cut all fast food and sugar drinks.

The problem is i feel like everything i did was in vain,i see so many people going from obese to absolutely shredded in less time then what i did,and it makes me question what i am doing wrong.

Could i get some advice?I’m really starting to lose it here.

Left picture is from two years ago,right one is from a few months ago

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Unsure of how to get dopamine/ stress release outside of food

I’m doing the weight loss made real brain retraining which basically is supposed to stop the habit of eating to compensate with negative feelings/ discomfort and instead only eat when hungry. But let me tell you it’s freaking hard. I have no joy outside of eating. It’s my drug. I believe in what she is saying and the science behind it but holy crap does it seem impossible. Food has been my drug since a child.

What in the Sam heck can I replace it with? I do get a bit of dopamine from piano and exercise but nothing like the joy of cookies

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