Two generic phrases that keep me going

"Not this time" "Never again"

I just want to vent, bear with me.

I personally feel like my persona died 2 times.

M/19/130kgs

When I was finishing my country's equivalent of high school I was a human wreck. I suffered from a nasty heart brake and my best friend stabbing me in the back (those 2 things correlate with each other, unfortunately). I didn't score the best on my finals, but well, I did FINE - got to the school I wanted. It was a long summer break for me, almost 4 months. But I was suffering from depression - all I could do was just lay in bed, watch some shows on my computer and not much more.

I always liked old PC games. Some of my favorite games are from before my times. During this summer break, I finally got around to playing System Shock games. To introduce those uninvolved - you play as a sole survivor on a space station/shuttle in space and everyone around you is dead, or worse. You find audio logs of them and relieve all the suffering they endured - some of them were experimented on by A.I, some were turned into cyborgs, some were just massacred and some were integrated into a hive mind (where they found happiness, according to them). In summary - it was a dark, brutal world. After I finished playing these 2 games I felt different. I felt numb for the first time in a long time. And by numb I mean good - I wasn't stressing about anything, I didn't feel the existential dread. I felt good, these games were cathartic for me. This is the first time my persona died.

M/20/130kgs

After that I lived 3 years of relative happiness - I was still heavy (I fluctuated between 130 kgs and 120 kgs, depending on my activity levels) but I found a nice circle of friends at uni and found my new passion - fencing, where I met even more fantastic people.

I still just dreaded being in a relationship. Watching movies with romantic subplots was hard for me, as it's always been. But at Uni at finally found someone, with whom I become close with. Not IN a relationship, but it was on its way.

Then we had a nasty fall-out. I take some of the blame, but what she did to me was unfair. She turned most of our mutual friends against me. I relapsed into depression.

It gave me motivation - I was going away for an internship and wouldn't see my Uni friends for almost 4 months. I decided that I will come back a changed man - body and soul. I tried losing weight many times before, but I always failed. This time I told myself - "Not this time". During these 4 months, I lost 22 kgs. I felt good. Weight loss was a driving force for me that I needed, I finally found a purpose in life. When I came back everyone was complementing me. And I'm not gonna lie - it felt hella good.

New year (2019) began, I was still motivated. I finally achieved my mental milestone - being below 100 kgs. I said to myself "Never again". Never again I want to be above 3 digits on the scale. I intended to do everything to not let that happen again.

But then I plateaued (around 98 kgs). I was collapsing deeper into depression. Some of it was related to my staggering weight loss, some of it on a broken heart (this was an important thing for me my entire life). On the weekend there were days when I only left a room to use the toilet. Again, I was a wreck.

One night I had a dream. In my mind, I call it THE dream. I was sitting on horseback, with spear and shield, around me a lot of other men, also armed up. Another rider came up to us and told us the order - attack from the south. He also assured us, that we will get no help, and we will probably be crushed by the enemy. Everyone hesitated until I rode forward (mind you I never rode a horse in my life, although I have some experience with historical combat). I heard others following me. I knew, that this is the day I die, but I felt... relief? Calm? When I woke up I knew, this is the second time my persona died.

M/23/95 kgs

I still crave the feelings I felt in that dream. But it gave me a new motivation - I no longer feel the existential dread. I hope to never again relapse. But I sorted myself out. Losing weight is not a race. I lost over 25% of my original body weight and am barely considered obese now. I turned my life around with it, buying myself at least a decade longer life. I feel complete - I am satisfied with my studies, I feel satisfied with my fencing performance. I still don't have a SO, but it doesn't matter to me anymore. If I ever find someone willing to join me in my life I'll be happy. If not then well, what can I do?

But still, those 2 mantras follow me every day - This time I will not fail in my weight loss, and I will never again allow myself to be obese, hindering my life.

Thanks, to all of you, for being a community for me. I don't post here often, but here I feel safe. And seeing you succeed fills me with motivation.

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Journey so far, motivation, mental health & fat activism

Hello everyone, first of all I want to say (as a long time lurker) thank you all for creating such a helpful, welcoming and supportive environment! My stats are: 22F 5'7 hw: 229lbs sw: 218lbs cw: 201lbs gw: 170-160lbs This is my first post ever but as I get closer to my first big "goal" (onederland!) I think it's the right time for me to start being more involved with this subreddit :-) I started my journey on May 15th 2019. Like many of us I spent my whole life hating my body, being overweight, constantly dieting but only getting bigger and bigger. At the start of the year I was my highest ever weight of 229lbs (16 stone 5) and I think I was very much in denial. I'd been sucked in by FA/HAES rhetoric of "my body is beautiful! i dont owe my health to anyone! eat what you want! move when you want to!" which brought a lot of comfort to my severely depressed, eternally overweight self and made me feel like trying to lose weight was pointless at best and dangerous at worst. The reason I got so big was extreme undiagnosed lifelong mental health problems (causing me to be mostly bedbound for a long time combined with comfort eating) which I've been receiving help for since the start of 2018 and am so proud to say I feel pretty much normal, happy and healthy for the first time in my life. Honestly, you wouldn't understand unless you've been here yourself but I feel like I've just started living for the first time which is bizarre, exciting and makes me feel overwhelmed with emotion when I think of how far I've come😭 Slowly but surely I've managed to get everything in my life on track. I have a great job, friends, a home of my own, a cat (love of my life) and I'm happy! My weight was the only "fault" I could find in my life and had made me self conscious and unhappy for too long so I disregarded all the FA shit I'd been fed and began my journey! I've honestly found it very easy and very very rewarding/satisfying. I've been calorie counting sticking to a max of 1400 calories a day, with 1 day a week where I eat what I want guilt free. I've also recently started doing yoga which I love - one of my biggest motivations is having the confidence to go to a yoga class and a dance class. I currently feel too fat and am still a beginner but I'm so excited to eventually reach that goal. I weigh myself once a week on a Wednesday and today I weighed in at 201lbs (down 2 stone since my highest weight and 1 stone 2lbs since I started consciously losing). When I first started this journey I told myself I'd stick to it for 3 weeks (I had a holiday planned at the 3 week point and my clothes were tighter than I wanted them to be). I've yoyo dieted since the age of 12 so 3 weeks without giving up/starting over felt like a huge goal! I'm now entering my 7th week and I can't see myself stopping any time soon. I haven't been under 200lbs since the age of 17 so onederland always felt like a very distant dream that just wasnt meant for me (more FA shit - "your body is at the size it naturally wants to be" 😒) but now its almost here and I feel amazing! According to myfitnesspal (which I've had since 2012, age 15) the lowest weight I've ever been was 12 stone 11lbs and I was very slim and looked great at this weight. I've set my goal as 12 stone which according to BMI is still overweight for my height so we'll see how I feel when I get there, but for now I'd be over the moon with that :-) Thank you for reading if you made it this far! Sorry for the long rambly post but it feels good to get this all out 💗 would love to hear other peoples motivations, highlights of their journey or opinions on FA (were you sucked in too? do you still agree with any of it? were you as shocked as me to find out everything they say about weight loss/dieting is very very inaccurate?) Have a lovely day everyone, eat your greens 🥳

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On plateaus and keeping the faith: my experience 6 months in and 35 pounds down

Relevant Libra chart: https://imgur.com/a/JkHPPWS

Six months into my weight loss effort, I wanted to share my experience with non-linear weight loss in case it might help others who are dealing with the same thing. One of the best early tips I got was to start tracking my weight every day with an app. I use Libra, and I believe Happy Scale is the Apple equivalent. Daily weigh-ins aren't for everyone, but for me it really helps get me in the right mindset for the day by reminding me of my progress and goals first thing in the morning. What I wasn't expecting was how it would allow me to see the particular cycle my body goes through as it loses.

My Libra chart for the second half of June is a great example. I do the same thing every day: eat 1500 calories (plus half exercise calories), the amount MFP currently gives me to lose 1 pound a week. I have indeed, according to Libra, lost the expected 1 pound a week. The frustrating part is that the scale does NOT actually move down 1 pound a week. Sometimes it goes up. Sometimes it stays exactly the same for what feels like forever. Looking at the last few weeks, I hovered around 197-198 for SEVENTEEN DAYS before I finally got a whoosh today. That amount of time might not seem like much just glancing at a graph, but it feels like forever when you know you're doing everything right and not seeing the results on the scale day after day. This is the same pattern I've seen for six months now. A few weeks of no or very little progress, and then suddenly a few pounds down all at once.

I think the important takeaway from this is for me is that even though I was frustrated, even though it felt like nothing was happening, I didn't freak out and change my plan, or give up and binge. I just kept doing what I know is working: consistently tracking my calories and sticking to my daily calorie goal. Every day I told myself that the whoosh would come eventually. It always does. And it did.

So for anyone frustrated with a plateau right now, hang in there! If you're sticking to your calorie limit and counting accurately, the loss REALLY IS HAPPENING even if you don't see it in the numbers just yet.

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5 Low Calorie Condiments to Use at the BBQ

You can still enjoy the delicious fun of summertime cookouts and stay on track with your weight loss goal. We have lots of lower-calorie ideas to help you do that, such as 5 Better for You Burger Recipes You’ll Love >  and Healthier Potato Salad> But while you are choosing healthy dishes like those, be aware that sneaky excess calories are lurking in places where you might not expect them. Condiments may seem like just little dabs of flavor, but, according to the United States Department of Agriculture (USDA), a single tablespoon of ketchup can have four grams of sugar and an equal amount of mayonnaise can come with 90 calories and 10 grams of fat. That’s why they’re counted as “Extras” in your Nutrisystem weight loss plan (Not on Nutrisystem yet? Click here to get started >). Good news: These five low calorie condiments are loaded with flavor. Better news: They are all “Free” foods you can enjoy to your heart’s content.

The Great Debate: Is It an Extra or a Free Food?

Read More

Here’s what you need to know about choosing and using low calorie condiments :

1. Mustard

The seeds from the mustard plant, a leafy green with a spicy flavor, are ground up and blended with vinegar and other ingredients to make the familiar yellow condiment. The color actually comes from turmeric, another flavorful spice. The mustard shelf at the grocery store is filled with lots of choices, from mild, smooth-textured bright yellow types to browner, grainier and very hot varieties. Dijon mustard is blended with white wine to add a tart flavor to balance the moderately spicy taste of the mustard. Beware of honey mustard, which has added sugar, and “dijonnaise,” which has all the excess calories and fats of mayonnaise.

TRY: Mustard is most commonly used to add zest to burgers and hot dogs, but it makes a tasty glaze for grilled chicken, fish or vegetables. You can also use it to make a low calorie flavorful salad dressing, such as our Creamy Honey Mustard topping >

Grocery Shopping 101: A Crash Course in Condiments

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2. Lemon/Lime Juice

Your food gets a spark of bright, acidic flavor from the juice of these two citrus fruits. Both are nearly calorie-free and loaded with vitamin C. Generally, lemons are slightly more sour than limes, while for many people the latter has a lightly bitter taste. Fresh lemons and limes have the best flavor and they’re easy to slice up and squeeze for juice by hand. You can also find packaged lemon and lime juice in supermarkets—just be sure before you buy that they are pure juice and contain no added sweeteners.

TRY: Fresh lemon or lime juice adds a refreshing splash of flavor to calorie-free seltzer. These juices also brighten the taste of grilled fish or chicken, and they add a spark of acid to mixed and fruit salads. Briefly grill lemon or lime halves to infuse them with a smoky taste that gives many dishes a flame-cooked flavor.

3. Hot Sauce

Also known as chili sauce or pepper sauce, this spicy condiment is made from hot peppers blended with a little vinegar. Hot sauce comes in a wide range of heat options, from mildly tongue tingling to five-alarm fire. Those made with habanero or ghost peppers tend to be the spiciest. Sriracha (sometimes call “rooster sauce” because of the image on its label) is a popular Vietnamese-style hot sauce that’s moderately spicy. According to BioMed Central, all hot sauces are loaded with capsaicin, the heat-bearing compound that research shows speeds metabolism and can help burn fat.

TRY: Unless you’re an experienced hot-sauce lover, start with just a few drops on your food and add more once you’ve tasted it. Mix a little hot sauce into ground turkey to punch up the flavor of your burgers with one of the most flavorful low calorie condiments. Sprinkle a little on grilled vegetables or seafood, such a shrimp or clams. Use hot sauce to make a zesty (and sugar-free) marinade for meats by whisking it with a little olive oil, fresh lime juice, minced garlic and chopped scallions.

4 Ingredients You Should Never Eat Again

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4. Salsa

When we think of salsa, we typically picture a chunky sauce made with tomatoes, chile peppers and onions that comes in various levels of spiciness. You can also find salsas that are based on tomatillos (green or “salsa verde”) or fruit such as mangoes or pineapple. When shopping for bottled salsa, be sure to check the label for added sugar, which will load on extra calories. To get all the goodness and nothing more, you can use our recipe to whip up your own fresh salsa in minutes.

TRY: Skip the cream-based dips and instead slip your veggies into a bowl of one of our favorite low calorie condiments: Salsa. Make quick and healthy guacamole for dipping by blending salsa and lemon or lime juice with mashed avocado. Hold the ketchup and top your burger with a spoonful of salsa. Fruit-based salsas turn plain grilled fish into tropical treat.

5. Vinegar

According to the Journal of Evidence-Based Integrative Medicine, vinegar is made, like wine, by fermentation, which in this case produces acetic acid rather than alcohol. While vinegar generally has a tangy flavor, you’ll see a variety of types made with such ingredients as apple cider, red wine, and even champagne, each with slightly different tastes. Balsamic vinegar, made from grapes leftover from wine-making, is dark-colored and tends to be thicker and more flavor-intense than other types.  Vinegar has long been used in cooking as well as a folk remedy for many conditions. One recent study even found that vinegar may prevent spikes in blood sugar, which can be very beneficial for people with diabetes.

TRY: Vinegar infused with herbs such as tarragon or basil make a flavorful (and calorie-free) salad dressing. A trick many chefs use is to splash roasted or grilled meats or vegetables with a little vinegar while they’re still warm, which brings out the full flavor of the ingredients. Use apple cider vinegar in place of the creamy dressing in coleslaw or potato to reduce their fat content.

Interested in learning more about low-calorie options? Check out more recipes here >

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5 Healthy Dessert Recipes Perfect for Your July Fourth Parties

Declare your independence from diet-destroying desserts, and give these healthy dessert recipes featuring a red, white and blue twist a try. Each one features fresh, seasonal fruit and a few other easy ingredients. And while they make a perfectly themed treat to bring to patriotic parties and barbecues, these healthy dessert recipes are way too good to be confined to just one day of the year!

Try these healthy dessert recipes any day you’re craving a little All-American treat:

1. All-American Festive Flag Crackers >

Festive Flag Crackers are the perfect healthy snack to serve at your patriotic parties. Featuring graham crackers topped with fat-free cream cheese and fresh, seasonal berries, they’re packed with nutrition… and flavor! Click here for the recipe >

2. Red, White & Blue Pudding Cup >

This Red White and Blue Pudding Cup is delicious and patriotic all at the same time. It’s got flavored gelatin, whipped topping and sweet, seasonal blueberries… the perfect flavor and color combo! Click here to get the recipe >

3. 3-Ingredient Patriotic Popsicles >

Not every popsicle has to be bad for your diet! These Patriotic Popsicles are festive, tasty and guilt-free! Featuring just two types of berries and some non-fat Greek yogurt, these tasty treats are as easy to make as they are to eat! Get the recipe here >

4. Red, White & Blueberry Pancakes >

Although technically not dessert, these Red, White & Blueberry Pancakes are the perfect treat for Independence Day! Featuring your Vanilla FreshStart Shake and a few other simple ingredients, these tasty pancakes count as one SmartCarb and one-and-a-half PowerFuels, so you can choose whether they fit in your day as a breakfast or a dessert! Click here to get the recipe >

5. American Flag Fruit Kebabs >

Liven up your Fourth of July menu with some refreshing, delicious (and Nutrisystem-approved!) American Flag Fruit Kebabs. It doesn’t get more patriotic and healthy as this. Not a grape fan? Sub in blueberries! Prefer raspberries over strawberries? Swap them out! The possibilities to create this patriotic treat are endless—so, cool down this Fourth of July with some fresh and festive fruit! Get the recipe here >

The post 5 Healthy Dessert Recipes Perfect for Your July Fourth Parties appeared first on The Leaf.

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Before I started my weight loss journey 3 months ago, I never really knew what people meant by "plateau."

I've been doing a combination of One-Meal-A-Day, CICO, and what I call cheato-keto. After a scary bout with high blood pressure I finally succumbed and decided it was time.

As with most low-carb diets, I lost water weight pretty fast. I was really encouraged by this when I lost 10 pounds in one week. The though that I, the guy who once ate a glass of ranch chip dip that with his hands in a bout of depression fueled binging, could actually lose weight blew my freakin' mind.

This continued for a couple of weeks more where every wednesday I would log my weight. I had been losing pretty steadily about 4-5 pounds a week. Until one week the scale only moved by about a pound. I was pretty annoyed and entertained ideas of quitting. Putting all that effort into this just to lose one lousy pound!?! But I kept with it, ate a little lighter that day, and went back to my usual weight loss routine. The next week I lost 7 pounds.

Anyway, in reference to the title, I've been logging my weight into MFP anyway amazed to actually see this sort of step line graph appear. There would be times when my weight loss wouldn't go down nearly all that much, but it would always pick up again. And that's pretty encouraging. I know now that if I have a bad day, it's not the end of the world. That it doesn't suddenly undo months of hard work. I'm a lot happier now for it.

Here is the line graph if anyone wants to see what my weight loss looks like. I'm finally over 50lbs lost and no longer diabetic!

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Need help becoming an Athlete (and losing weight)?

Hi guys!

​

I looked for an answer to this and I couldn't really find one.

I'm 26/F, and my whole life I've been focused on losing weight....mostly unsuccessfully. In the past two years, I started weight lifting and running, so I have a fair bit of muscle and endurance now, but had trouble getting my eating under control so I haven't really lost weight (I'm working on it).

Then a couple of months ago, I joined a sports team (roller derby). Now it's IMPORTANT that I lose weight so I can skate harder, faster, and be more agile. I'm doing weight lifting, running, swimming, and endurance and agility exercises when I'm not training.

How do I switch from a weight loss perspective to an athlete's perspective? How do I focus on developing an athlete's mindset?

How do I lose weight while still having enough energy to work out? CICO, yes, but I'm so worried about bonking during the day and not being able to focus on work/school.

What is the fastest way to slim down and tone up so I can be a better skater (if there is one)?

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