The effects of huge weight loss on casual sex life and life in general

Over 6 months or so I lost a total of 91 lbs. This was last year, and I have been maintaining my weight since then. I started at 246 lbs and ended up at 155 lbs. I am 5'10", male, and 24 years old. I practiced time restricted fasting.

My routine was fasting from Sunday evening to Friday morning, then from Friday morning to Sunday evening I ate at my TDEE (maintenance calories) so I could practice maintaining my weight. My only exercise was a 1 hour walk per day around 4-5 times per week during this period. When I fasted I drank only water, black coffee, and tea, and I also supplemented with electrolytes. I was losing 3-4 lbs per week. It started around 4 lbs/week at my heaviest and ended up around 3 lbs/week at my lightest. I also took a few vacations during this time where I just ate at my TDEE while on vacation and skipped a week of fasting.

Since I lost weight I shifted my workout routine to lifting weights 1-2x per week and running 2-3 times per week. I also do a 30 minute mobility/flexibilty routine twice per week.

One of the most drastic things I noticed is that of course people look at my more now. It really is incredible. I used to think I was completely invisible because people didn't like interacting with obese people, but people genuinely look at me now which is crazy. I still have not gotten used to this.

The other thing is the effect on my casual sex life. I never really knew there was a whole world out there to enjoy if you are interested in casual (and safe) sex. It's become a huge boost in my confidence overall. I'm American but live in Europe, and the country I currently live in has a huge casual sex scene which I didn't really know about until I lost weight.

But overall I think the most important thing is the effect on my mental and physical health. I am so much happier. I cannot tell you how great it is to not be sweating constantly anymore. It's also great that I am no longer out of breath when climbing the 5 flights of stairs to get to my office.

You can do it guys, it is worth it in the end!

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Weight loss plateauing when starting weights. What should my daily calories be?

I'm not sure what to do. 31F 5/4. My flair says 126. Today I am 135. I have been skinny fat my whole life and 90% of keeping my weight off is due to loss of appetite if I'm stressed. I started Crossfit about 4 months ago and have been steadily building up to going to 5 classes per week. I know Crossfit gets mixed reviews, but I really like it. It's the first activity I've found that I enjoy doing 5 days a week. Since starting I have been really hungry. I recognize a lot of the gain is muscle but I'm not sure how much. I don't know how to calculate my calories and stop feeling an inflated sense of accomplishment due to weightlifting/exercising. I try CICO and set MFP to 1200 but always go over either intentionally from hunger or unintentionally, probably from underreporting cooking oils, etc. I'd really appreciate any tips.

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I did it, I went to the gym for the first time.

It's a small accomplishment but just going 20min on the elliptical with a 10min walk outside, I already feel like I'm taking control of my weight.

I got engaged a few months ago and I couldn't help but think about what I weighed when I first met my fiancé (115lb) to my current weight (145lb). I want to feel comfortable in my skin again and not feel super self-conscious about my weight. Doesn't help that I avoid family gatherings because certain people tend to point out my weight gain.

Slow and steady, 30min workouts will get me started and I know I can get back to confidence I had. And build some muscle and stamina to boot!

I just want to remind those who are like me, scared to start working out, not finding any motivation, etc.

YOU CAN DO THIS. Even if it's a 10min walk outside, 10min bike ride, 10 push-ups, it may seem small but it's a start. A great start to achieving your weight loss goals. Something is always better than nothing.

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I’m not going to let 4 pounds become 40

Over this past year, I’ve lost roughly 60 pounds. I’m so proud of myself and my quality of life has gone up. However 2 weeks ago, I went on vacation with some of my friends and decided to take a break from calorie counting as well since it was only a weekend trip and I told myself that I’d get right back on track when I got home. The day I got home was my mom’s birthday so I thought that since I had been indulging all weekend, what was the harm in one more day? Ever since then, I haven’t been tracking or eating as well as I should. The night before I left for my trip, I weighed in at a new low-138.8 lbs. This morning I was 143 lbs.

I’m getting back on track today. I have come way too far to start going back the way I was before. If I start eating at my weight loss deficit again, I can be at my low weight again in about a month.

Yesterday, I went shopping for the first time in a long time. It was actually fun! I instinctively reached for xl tops. They didn’t fit. Neither did a large. I haven’t worn a medium shirt since middle school. But that’s what fits now, and even smalls depending on the brand! I reflected on how a year ago, nothing I liked fit me. And what did fit didn’t look good on me. Thinking of that experience made me realize that I’m at a point where I can keep down the path I’m on or I can start again today. Right now, a 4 lb gain is nothing but I won’t let these 4 lbs become 40. I never want to get back to the point where I was.

So today, I logged my breakfast and have been back meal prepping to stay in my calorie goals. Here’s to getting back on track and reminding myself that progress isn’t linear!

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Rant: I'm disappointed with myself

I regained 10lbs and I pretty much hate myself for doing it.

----weight loss journey----

I'm a natural perfectionist, so I procrastinated a lot before going on this weight loss journey. My mother was an emotional overeater and has lost about 75ish pounds. I've seen how hard it was for her to lose weight and the emotional rollercoaster losing weight was on her, so I was also in a state of denial that I need to lose weight. It hit me that I needed to lose weight when I did a simple BMI and body % check at a grocery store. I was/am considered to be overweight. My mother had several health problems because of her weight--knee replacements, spine problems, heart problems, etc. Knowing that my stats were unhealthy made me question how I had been living and eating.

I'm in a happy relationship with the person I love. When I first met my future spouse I weighed around 125lbs. Since meeting my spouse I've gained "happy pounds," termed by my friend. I didn't have a problem about the way I looked because my spouse made me feel beautiful every day. I love my spouse very much, so realizing that my weight and percent fat could potentially shorten my time with my spouse shocked me into action.

I then went on a 1200 calorie plan (ish) and lost weight. It was hard losing weight and it was hard emotionally. When I lost weight I would compare myself to "skinny" people and just not feel like I'd measure up. Motivated by my competitive personality, I would promise to work harder and be better. When I was at my lowest weight in this journey, 155lbs, I felt amazing. I was proud of myself and felt that I was on top of the world.

Trouble brewed when I had to start a new job that required me to be on my feet about 12 hours a day /5days. I became stressed out with my supervisor, my own high expectations of myself, and the fast-paced environment of my job. As a result, I wasn't able to work my 1200 calorie plan because of time constraints, physical fatigue, and emotional fatigue. I stopped weighing in because I knew that I would gain weight because I was overeating and I was scared to admit that I was undoing my progress. Just like when I started, I randomly checked out my weight and height on a station. At first I thought that my new job would help me lose weight and be healthier because I'm much more physically active, but in actuality, my percent body fat is higher than when I worked the plan.

---- end ----

It may seem small to be disappointed over re-gaining 10lbs, but every time I lost a pound I celebrated and every pound I gained I'd feel upset. I know that if I started up the plan I could lose weight, but I don't know if I am ready anymore. I'm frustrated, resentful, and disappointed with myself. I don't like looking in the mirror and I don't like to watch TV because I don't want to feel like I'm losing to other people.

I wrote this post because I wanted to formally acknowledge my feelings by putting my thoughts, story, and feelings out into the internet. Thank you

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A question for people who have lost and then regained 100+ lbs

Assuming you had loose skin after losing the 100+ (as most do), did the regain fill it back out? If your boobs deflated, did they re-inflate? Did saggy arm skin, thigh, and tummy skin fill out with fat and look 'normal' again?

I ask, because I'm not losing the weight for the reason most people here probably are (health, aesthetic) I'm losing it because I'm transgender (nonbinary) and the gendered way fat collects on my body has caused me a lot gender dysphoria. I've always intensely envied people who were thin simply because they have a better chance of passing as androgynous in our society.

The reason I didn't lose weight sooner is because I was afraid of loose skin and if I'm being honest, I felt and still feel I could be happier with myself fat than with a lot of loose skin.

I've reached the point in weight loss where I'm beginning to notice a good amount of wrinkling in my right inner thigh. I also have 'bingo wings'... they still feel like they have a lot of fat in them yet though so I'm not sure if they will or won't become smaller. My 42 DD boobs have deflated, but I've always intended to either get top surgery (full removal) or a drastic reduction to help me feel comfortable in my body as a transgender/nonbinary person anyway so I'm a little less concerned of that.

I'd already lost 40 lbs over the past few years just naturally after recovering from a severe depressive episode, but only decided to to start making an actual effort to lose more a few months ago.

I guess what I'm asking is, if I decide I can't handle the loose skin and cannot access surgery to fix it, would regaining the weight put me back where I was before the loss gave me loose skin or am I going to be stuck looking weird and baggy even after regain?

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Issues with seeing weight loss?

So I have been on my weight loss journey for around 12 weeks now, I am down 27 pounds (190 - 163). However, I am really struggling to see any changes at all. I have been a long time lurker and notice that people will have NSV’s such as clothes fitting differently etc, but, I have not experienced anything like this. All my clothes seem to fit the same as they used to and I can see no physical differences, even when comparing progress photos. I have had a lot of people telling me to give it time, but I am struggling a lot with this at the moment and it is starting to impact my mental health. Has anyone experienced this same thing and can maybe give me some advice?

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