I have lost 235 pounds and yet feel like I am doing things wrong

This essentially marks the two-year anniversary of when I put my lifestyle of sitting and eating Oreos behind me. While many might think there are no downsides to losing weight a lot of weight, I have to confess the downsides.

As a background, I weighed 420 pounds on Oct. 1, 2019. Today, I weigh 185. Believe it or not, based on BMI, I am classified as “overweight,” albeit just barely by a couple of pounds. I’d love to say I am “normal,” but this is America. Being slightly overweight is normal.

I have also run two half marathons this year and hope to complete my third this weekend.

Physically, I feel great. But there is a mental component that I have come to find is not unusual but hard to overcome.

I still have an unhealthy relationship with food. For instance, I was mildly upset tonight at the grocery store that I couldn’t find 93% lean ground beef and had to opt for the 80%. In my mind, that was too many calories.

What I failed to recognize is how that impacts the people around me. If I get upset about eating something that’s a little more fattening, how does that reflect on them?

The problem is when you’ve lost a lot of weight, you realize you have to maintain that effort to keep the weight off. For me, I fear everyday that I am one bad day away from gaining it all back.

What ends up happening is the effort you put into losing weight wears on those around you. You in many ways become a burden to them.

Would it be easier to accept that for one night I had to eat the slightly more fattening meat? Sure, but that’s not where my mind is at. My mind is if I have to accept this outcome one night, what’s stopping that from becoming a habit?

I am trying to find a healthy balance. My doctor told me I am on the right path. I exercise almost daily. I maintain a mild (300ish) calorie deficit per day.

My question for the weight loss community is when does weight loss become unhealthy? If it fractures your friendships and relationships with family, is it worth it? What am I doing wrong?

How do others balance maintaining a healthy weight and their sanity?

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Finding motivation after taking a four month break.

Anyone else struggle to find motivation after taking a break?

I started CICO the week before Christmas last year, and was able to stick with it very consistently up until May, with only a handful of days going over my caloric limit. It seemed so easy back then, I was able to get through different holidays and gatherings with ease. The endless candy and baked goods at work didn’t phase me. I could care less about the candy filled stocking I got at Christmas. I felt in control.

I had set a 40 pound weight loss goal to hit by September, but I hit it in May. I made the foolish decision to eat at maintenance for a month before getting back to it to lose the final 15 pounds. It’s October now, and eating at maintenance has gone out the window, and tracking never happens. I can guarantee I am eating 500-1500 calories above my maintenance at this time. Coworkers are commenting “if I ate like you, I would be double my size” and it’s making me feel like shit cause they don’t know the half of it, I’m literally on my way to being obese again. I’ve tried multiple times this summer to get back on track and start weighing my foods and entering them into an app, but keep giving up after a few days. The same five pounds keep going up and down on the scale. I don’t know if my motivation is gone now that I am in a healthy weight range, and no longer feel like people treat me different for being the “big girl” in the group. I don’t feel this tremendous pressure to get my weight under control nor do I feel the same level of self hatred. I just know if I don’t get back on track, I’ll gain everything back, and I’m feeling completely hopeless to it. I don’t feel like I’m in control, and it’s giving me major anxiety.

Hoping there is someone here who can relate and share how they have been able to find motivation again.

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Stomach looks like I have apron fat even though I lost weight?

Sorry if this is the wrong place to put this, but I just started my weight loss journey and I'm currently down 10 pounds.

I noticed that I'm losing weight, but as I do so, my stomach looks like a deflated balloon on the bottom and it makes me look heavier than I am. I just look like I have a fat apron rather than it getting flatter. Is that normal or am I doing something wrong?

I've been walking every day and going to the gym on weekends (I work full time and I'm a student at night), not to mention that I've been eating about 1200 calories a day, so if I am doing something wrong, I have no idea what it is.

Any help would be appreciated!

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NSV: Got called “hot” by two different friends this weekend

I’ve been obese for more than the last decade. Aside from my wife, who I love very much, I’ve never really felt like I got much attention from the opposite sex. My confidence hasn’t always been the best because of it.

I went away to a wedding this weekend and one friend of my wife’s was marveling at my weight loss. She was pretty overserved but ended up yelling to the entire bus on the way to the event how “hot” I was. We are all good friends, it was hilarious, and I took it as a huge compliment, if a little embarrassing.

I got home and my wife told me she’d had another girlfriend over while I was away. Her friend was looking at some recent pictures of us and remarked that I had “glowed up” and how my wife “had a hot one on her hands.”

I didn’t do this for attention from the opposite sex, and I find this amusing at best. But I won’t lie that it was a huge confidence boost coming on the same weekend from two different people in different places, unsolicited. Makes me think I’ve really made a ton of progress people can see - and makes me motivated as ever to keep going!

SW: 336 CW: 234 GW: 220 M 32 6’0

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Down 70 finally feeling good

Sw: 350 gw: 225 cw 278!

Started around April 1st!

https://imgur.com/gallery/I1TZRBT

Here’s a little progress picture for you all!

So, honestly this journey has definitely been hard. I always felt like there was no way I could do it and always kept gaining and gaining weight. My senior year of high school I was maybe 250-260 pounds still very overweight but every year after school I gained 10-15 more pounds even when I tried joining the gym I just never had the motivation and drive to do it.

Finally I buckled down did tons of research and figured out a diet that could work for me with little tweaks.

I started doing CiCO and just eating high protein (200-225) medium carbs (225-300) and low fat (60-80)

This helped me stay full all day and I was using MyFitnessPal to track everything scanning barcodes and keeping everything tracked to a T. If I had a pack of fruit gummies I tracked it, had two spoons of ketchup with my baked potato, tracked it. I think it’s a little crazy to track everything but it was what kept me in line and straight.

I had a huge soda addiction, it was probably my biggest gripe of gaining weight. Somedays I’d pound a 2 liter of Mountain Dew by gaming all day.

I’m super happy with my progress and honestly am open to answering all my questions.

The work I put in the gym is probably 20% of my weight loss and holding back my mouth is the other 80%

Going to the gym is awesome though seeing some muscle and the veins show while lifting gives me massive confident boosts and I feel so much better, my knees don’t hurt at all and I got a little shoulder pain from a car accident a while back but it’s been getting much stronger now.

I started 4/5 days a week with a bro split doing legs/back/chest/shoulders/arms

Switched about 3 months in to a PPL/PPL and have been steady going 3 on rest 3 on rest.

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Finally broke into Onederland!

G: M, H: 5' 10" SW: 319lb CW: 197.8lb

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I did it, bloody hell I've done it. 120.2lbs off in just 256 days, that's an average of .46lbs Per Day! There is 37.8% Less of me than there was at the start of the year.

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It has been a long journey I believe the last update I posted here was 45pds ago and honestly sticking to it has kept me on track. Logging everything I eat to the gram to make sure I don't go over my 1500 cal budget, hitting the gym 4-5 times a week while focusing on cardio (1 resistance training day to preserve muscle mass). Its so simple when you say it like that but it is never easy. That is a tough motto I've had to learn these past 9 months weight loss might be simple but its not easy. For all of you still struggling to loose just remember if this doofus can do it so can you.

My largest piece of advice besides sticking to the diet is not to never have cheat days but do not have routine cheat days. That is don't have a cheat meal every weekend, have a cheatmeal for every 10lbs or so you've lost, that way you feel rewarded for loosing and the extra calories do not significantly affect your weight loss rate. What I did personally was have a cheat meal at 50lbs, 75lbs, 100lbs and I will be having one later this week for hitting my goal and each of my cheat meals was only an extra 500 cal added to that day's limit. But I can understand the desire to have them more often, just so long as it doesn't become part of a routine. I feel that keeping it from being routine is important to not becoming dependent on it. I might be talking nonsense but that for me is the line between reward for doing well and just something I get for existing.

While I am done with my diet (I know I'm still at an overweight bmi don't @ me) this is not the end of my health journey. The trick is going to be keeping it off and not swinging right back up. This has been far too taxing for me to just go back to where I was. To that end I plan on reverse dieting by adding 50 cal to my daily budget each week till I hit sedentary maintenance (in 14-15 or so weeks) then change my workout routine to be primarily resistance rather than cardio and focus on recomp. At this point I know I'll have to readjust my diet to properly accommodate protein needs and find my true post workout maintenance and eat that but that's a future me problem. Since I'm going to be easing out of the diet very slowly I hope to settle in the low 190's even after the post diet water weight regain.

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Thank you all for listening to my little rant, I hope that my journey can help you along with yours. This sub has really helped me be the best winner at loosing I can be.

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Very slow progress -14 lbs in 7 months...I'm happy and sad about it

When I started, I only had about 33 lbs to lose. Those 33 lbs have been one of the greatest sources of insecurity for me. I hold my weight all in my stomach and have endometriosis. So it almost makes me look like I am pregnant. I see people look and I can read it on their face when they are considering asking me how far along I am. :(

I have always done 3-6 months of dieting and then giving up and gaining it all back quickly. I haven't been confident in my clothing and skin in 10 years. I just get depressed and give up.

I decided that I am tired of feeling this way and started probably my 15th weight loss journey 7 months ago. I am so proud to say that this is the LONGEST I have ever stuck to losing weight. However, I am also sad to say I have only lost 14 lbs (0.5 lb/week or 2 lbs/month). I know this very slow progress has made my weight loss more sustainable. I am not giving up, I am not starving myself, I am not depriving myself, and I am having higher calorie days when I feel like it.

In the past, I always wished I could eat like this and be happy. I am finally doing it, but I just wish I could speed it up a little. I am a little bit afraid to do that now since I don't want to mess with the good thing I have going on.

I am getting married next year. My mother-in-law and my sister have both rapidly lost weight in preparation for the wedding. I kind of get embarrassed that they are seeing more progress than I am when I am the one going dress shopping soon.

Anyways, I just wanted to put this out there in case anyone is going through anything similar.

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