I have lost 235 pounds and yet feel like I am doing things wrong

This essentially marks the two-year anniversary of when I put my lifestyle of sitting and eating Oreos behind me. While many might think there are no downsides to losing weight a lot of weight, I have to confess the downsides.

As a background, I weighed 420 pounds on Oct. 1, 2019. Today, I weigh 185. Believe it or not, based on BMI, I am classified as “overweight,” albeit just barely by a couple of pounds. I’d love to say I am “normal,” but this is America. Being slightly overweight is normal.

I have also run two half marathons this year and hope to complete my third this weekend.

Physically, I feel great. But there is a mental component that I have come to find is not unusual but hard to overcome.

I still have an unhealthy relationship with food. For instance, I was mildly upset tonight at the grocery store that I couldn’t find 93% lean ground beef and had to opt for the 80%. In my mind, that was too many calories.

What I failed to recognize is how that impacts the people around me. If I get upset about eating something that’s a little more fattening, how does that reflect on them?

The problem is when you’ve lost a lot of weight, you realize you have to maintain that effort to keep the weight off. For me, I fear everyday that I am one bad day away from gaining it all back.

What ends up happening is the effort you put into losing weight wears on those around you. You in many ways become a burden to them.

Would it be easier to accept that for one night I had to eat the slightly more fattening meat? Sure, but that’s not where my mind is at. My mind is if I have to accept this outcome one night, what’s stopping that from becoming a habit?

I am trying to find a healthy balance. My doctor told me I am on the right path. I exercise almost daily. I maintain a mild (300ish) calorie deficit per day.

My question for the weight loss community is when does weight loss become unhealthy? If it fractures your friendships and relationships with family, is it worth it? What am I doing wrong?

How do others balance maintaining a healthy weight and their sanity?

submitted by /u/jjboggs
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