M 22 5'9" SW: 204 lbs CW: 180 lbs GW: 160 lbs
Hello everyone, first I want to thank you all; you don't know how incredibly helpful has been this community for me, you guys have helped me stay focused and set realistic goals and expectations. Now, get ready for a bit of story time (also, English is not my first language, so please understand any mistakes). I was always the "chunky" kid, you know, that one that is not so heavy to be called "fat" but is above a "normal" weight. When I started University I was at 172 lbs with a BMI of 26, so a bit overweight. Also, I was what people call "a gifted child", I have always had a very good memory and amazing logical/mathematical skills, although it came with the downside that I was very lazy, or so I thought. I got into engineering with a very good scholarship that gave me 100% tuition and an amazing monthly stipend, way more money than I would ever need to sustain myself living with my parents (trust me this is important later).
I never had my own money, and suddenly I had a lot to spend, so I started to buy everything I wanted. I was always a good cook, but too "lazy" to actually cook for me, when I had no money the choices were cooking or starving, but with the sudden influx of money I started ordering take out 4 or 5 times a day, My weight quickly rose to 187 lbs by my second year and actually stood there for a while. Then, on my 4th year COVID came along and I was suddenly staring at a screen instead of being in an actual classroom. This was maybe the worst time of my life, that thing I called "laziness" stopped me from being able to concentrate on online classes, also the grading system changed, before it was mainly test and quizzes, with the pandemic that changed to a lot of assignments and projects that demanded a lot of my time, Those projects were my downfall, I was always procrastinating and then pulling 2 or 3 all nighters the week before the due date and questioning myself "why am I like this?".All of this had an effect on my mental health, I became anxious an depressed because I thought that all that "intelligence" teachers thought I had was a lie, because without tests and quizzes i was just a lazy and useless person, my way to cope with those feelings was eating a LOT, at the start of this year I reached 205 lbs and was obese for the first time on my life.
I tried many times going to the gym and eat less, but every time I tried to to that, the motivation faded away in a week, then I would get very angry at myself for not being able to put my mind into anything and then get sad and think I was a useless piece of shit. Ultimately, I would fall again into overeating to cope with my feelings and the cycle started all over again.
3 months ago my mom decided enough was enough and took me to a psychiatrist to get rid of my "anxiety" (she thought that was the thing that was making me eat so much). The psychiatrist evaluated me and ruled out anxiety, instead, he diagnosed me with ADHD (attention deficit and hyperactivity disorder). When he told me the symptoms, suddenly all of the struggles I experimented throughout the years had an explanation. ADHD comes from the lack of dopamine on the brain, dopamine is the chemical that makes your brain go "Oh boy, this sure does feel good and rewarding" when you do something, without that feeling your brain can't concentrate on repetitive or long tasks that don't offer immediate satisfaction or enjoyment, such as cooking or working on university projects. Also, your brain releases dopamine when you exercise and makes you feel good and motivated, in my case, the gym was just pointless pain and that was I couldn't stick to it at all.
I was put on meds and the change was almost immediate, suddenly I was cooking and trying new recipes, I could stick to a schedule and finish my school projects months before the due date, my grades were always very good but now they are almost perfect. By far, the most significant change is my motivation to lose weight and get in shape, I am counting calories, meal planning and keeping my macros in check, things that I thought were too bothersome before. I have lost more than 20 pounds in 8 weeks and I can't wait to lose the rest, my ultimate goal is 160 lbs and around 12% to 15% body fat.
The health benefits have been amazing too, I am no longer anxious or depressed, I sleep better and no longer get random aches in my body. I can actually go walk, dance, run and do sports with my friends without being a sweat fountain. You guys were incredibly helpful this last month and I hope this helps other people too, my advice is "don't be afraid to check your mental health with a professional", there is lots of people that live with mental problems that make weight loss a lot harder than it needs to be.
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