Since Feb I've gone from 188lbs to 150lbs (26F, 5'2"). It's been a long process of stopping and starting, thankfully never gaining anything back but eating at maintenance for long periods. I've been trying out different antidepressants during this time and I've found the periods where I'm changing over, I need to eat at maintenance to feel stable. My psych also said that it would be hard to distinguish effects of the medication from effects of eating at a calorific deficit - is the medication really not making me feel better, or am I just not noticing the positive effects because I'm miserable due to calorie restriction?
I'm not always miserable when restricting calories btw, just sometimes I will go too long without my favorite foods and start getting angsty. But I don't want to use my entire calorie budget on one small meal!
I haven't even noticed a difference in my body until recently, when my clothes started looking baggy. People are starting to comment on my weight loss and my confidence is growing everyday. Yesterday I didn't feel ashamed of my body for the first time in 7 years.
But exercise is the biggest difference! I used to think I was just a lazy bum for not being able to keep up in workout classes, thinking that it was this hard for all the slim people and they were just powering through the discomfort. But hell no! It's so much easier to exercise now, and I maintained the same level of exercise that I did when I was 188lbs so I know I'm not getting fitter.
It never really occurred to me just how heavy all that weight I was carrying was. I still have a long way to go as I'm at the high end of the overweight BMI, but today my stretchy workout pants started to fall down in Zumba! I couldn't believe it, I kinda looked like I had cameltoe because of all the extra fabric bunching when I moved.
It's weird because I don't even have to buy new clothes, I can just use the old ones that I used to fit when I was at this weight before.
And running is easier! I guess it was like I was carrying 38 bags of sugar on me all the time. It's hard to reconcile that my inability to control my food intake has led to my suffering for so long.
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