I'm back 6 years after my last weight loss journey. This time I'm starting at 280 lbs, with a goal of 180 lbs. I'm using MyFitnessPal and Calm apps to help me track my physical and mental health progress.
Background:
Last time, I started at 250 lbs and ended at 175 after about a year of calorie tracking. I maintained successfully for a while before having a kid. I ended up at about 220 lbs before a wave of misfortune caused me to return to my stress eating habits:
- Lost my partner/baby daddy (grief) shortly after my son was born
- COVID-19 hit, pushing my mental health over the edge
- Lost my best college friend and cat within the same week
- Terribly stressful job that gave me severe burnout
The last 3 years or so have been a struggle with lots of false starts to try and get my health back in check. I decided to go easy on myself because things were so stressful (per therapist recommendation). Unfortunately, that means that I've gained another 50 lbs during the pandemic.
Now I'm the heaviest I've ever been at 280 lbs.
Reflection on Last Time
For me, stress is a huge factor in my weight loss journey.
When I originally started here in 2015, I was the happiest I'd ever been. Everything was great in my life - loving partner, great job, friends, plenty of time to exercise. Losing weight was as simple as realizing how much I was overeating and cutting down the portions (using Lose It and MyFitnessPal apps).
The most difficult part was breaking my habit of getting fast food on the way home from work. For 30 minutes, I'd drive past so much deliciously unhealthy food. After a long day of work, I'd be hungry, tired. Most of the time, I'd give in and get something.
I fixed this by bringing my dinner with me to work and eating it before I left. Later, when I felt more fit, I'd go to the gym and do Zumba instead of going straight home. This simple change made it easy to lose the weight, since I loved dancing with my friends.
My other weak spot was (still is) midnight snacks. I'd combat this by replacing dense, junky snacks (like chips, candy, trail mix, etc) with healthier, light snacks (plain popcorn, popped chips, edamame, etc.).
Also, I'd do Zumba so I could build up extra calories, then "cash" them in for my snacks. Basically, I'd earn my midnight snacks with exercise, and not have any if I didn't exercise.
It's also important to give youself some reasonable cheat days. Don't torture yourself. If it's a special holiday, let yourself have a cookie or scoop of ice cream (that you've earned!). Having little treats every now and then will help you to avoid breaking down and binging later.
Strategy This Time Around
This time, my situation has changed a lot, so it'll require more work. But at least I have my previous success to show that I can do it, if I stick with it.
I'm a single working mom, so I have very little free time and am almost always tired. I live with family, so I can no longer control the type of food that's in the house (hoping to move soon). While I've processed my grief and quit my stressful job, I've built up unhealthy habits that I need to break, like eating everything in the house at night and not getting enough sleep.
Here are some strategies I'm hoping to try:
- Making my family keep any junk food in their room, so that I don't have access to it
- Instead of cooking family dinners, which I rarely have energy for, I'm going to buy more low-calorie frozen meals and keep meals simple - or try to meal prep healthier things on the weekend
- Swapping the snacks I eat at night to healthier options, like plain popcorn and edamame
- Exercising to earn my snacks and not eating snacks I haven't earned
- Meditating and going to bed earlier, so that I have more resilience to stress
While I'm starting at a pretty low point in my life this time around, there's one thing I have successfully kept up with, and that's exercise.
Since 2015, I've consistently done Zumba, swimming, or walking. The result is that, even though I am 30 lbs heavier than my last starting weight, I have a lot more muscle and energy this time around. I'm not struggling to sit and breathe like before.
Just goes to show that, while food is the most important thing for weight loss, exercise DOES help you feel better.
I recommend finding exercise you like doing, that you think is fun - that way you'll stick with it, even in your most difficult times. If you're not up to intense exercise, start with a walk. As time goes on, you'll start to feel better, then you can slowly build up your exercise routine as well. Small wins = long-term success.
So that's me. Day 1 (again).
Let's do this.
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