hi everyone! i’ve been active on this subreddit a bit, but haven’t really posted much on my own.
i’m a 20 year old female with pcos. i started well over 300 lbs, most likely around 325-335 lbs at my heaviest. however, when i began my weight loss journey, i was weighing in at 310 lbs. this was in 2018, and by january 2020 i was weighing it at 190! i felt great, i looked great, and i was maintaining for 6+ months.
sadly, i dealt with worsening mental health and was put on a medicine that caused me to gain weight massively (abilify, for anyone wondering). within 4 months i gained back 40 lbs, and at my heaviest since losing, i went up to 270 lbs due to a mix of the medicine and mental illness giving me trouble when it came to maintaining my healthy habits.
however, over the past month and a half, i’ve lost 15 lbs! my loss has been really consistent again and i’m feeling really great about it.
in the past, i might have been too restrictive because i had some serious trouble reaching my goal calories for maintaining my weight. (i didn’t really want to go lower than 190 at the time, as i found it would probably be difficult for me mentally to lose nearly 200 lbs to get to my ultimate goal weight of 130 lbs.)
today, though, i noticed that my mentality has improved greatly. i have friends visiting and one of my amazing friends offered to buy not only me, but my other friend and my father dinner.
at first i hesitated, but with enough willpower i decided to allow myself to have that dinner. the restaurant we ate at was one of my biggest fears due to the listed calories and the portion sizes, but i came up with a solution: i would eat half of the entree and my dessert and save the rest.
through my own experiences i’ve really learned the importance of moderation and being honest with your tracking. even today, i counted every calorie and ended up eating around 2200 calories, which based on my stats and activity (lightly active, i’m a student and i have a job that requires hours of standing, outside of that i dance and go on daily walks.) is my maintenance calories. most days, i eat anywhere from 1200-1600 calories.
and for the first time in so long, i don’t feel guilty about it!
it feels really, really great. i hope going forward i can continue to enjoy myself on occasion and realize it won’t undo all of my hard work.
this ended up being super long, thank you for reading!
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