I'm frustrated right now. I'm a 25 year old female who went from 151 lbs at the beginning of this year to 120 lbs currently. My daily weight has been between 118-121 for the past few weeks and I was happy with this. I felt like I reached my goal. My relationship with food has improved dramatically. I listen to my body when it's hungry, but I also know that hunger is ok. I can be hungry for an hour or two, get my tasks done, and then eat. This is a monumental shift for me. I used to go to food to quell any discomfort I felt. My life has changed for the better this year in a multitude of ways and I feel this discipline has set me free. But, my period is now 5 days late. I started tracking my period 2 years ago and my cycle has always always been between 26-28 days, never less, never more. Even when I was losing 3-4 lbs/month this year, my cycle remained constant. Pregnancy is not a possibility in this case, I am in kind of a stressful part of life but that's also been consistent throughout the year with no problem. Really the only thing I can think of as a culprit is this weight loss. I was 122 pounds during my last cycle, so I am trying to get up to that weight. I started today by eating more snacks, healthy snacks, but higher in calories and more than I'd normally allow. I feel so guilty, though. I am terrified of going back to my old self who was a slave to whatever stimulus would bring me dopamine. I don't want to go back there. I focused so much on losing weight, trying to gain some back feels foreign and wrong. Even as I'm typing this I want to just not eat for the rest of the day and go on the elliptical. Has anybody else dealt with this? Having to gain back some of the weight you lost and feeling immense guilt for doing so?
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