nothing in the world would ever make me regret losing weight or getting fit (whatever "negatives" that have come with it are far outweighed by the positives), but i wasn't prepared for how it would affect the way my friends treated me.
i'd always been the fat friend in any group ever since i started getting chubby in elementary school. unless you've also been the fat friend, you really wouldn't understand what it's like to play that role, especially as a girl. you're never the one that gets hit on, guys will come to you to ask about your hot/skinny friends and/or you'll get asked out as a dare or a joke, going clothes shopping with your friends is a traumatic nightmare, etc etc.
when i first started losing weight up until i hit my lowest weight, i was living with two of my (now ex) best friends in an apartment the three of us shared. one (let's call her C), was maybe the lower end of the midsize range, and the other (let's call her R) was short and petite but very much skinnyfat (i do not at all mean either of these as insults; at the time, i was just plain obese, so they were definitely doing better than me). i didn't tell either of them i was trying to lose weight, but i did invite them with me to the fitness center in our apartment complex whenever i went, and i'm sure they could see the changes in my eating as we ate/cooked/went grocery shopping together a lot of the time.
when the weight loss started to show, they congratulated me at first, and i was happy to have the support. i'm not sure exactly what made their behavior start to change. i eventually became thinner than C, who got very upset upon finding out that i weighed less than her (i didn't tell her this btw. she went into my bathroom to use my scale and saw the sheet i'd been logging my weigh-ins on). R stopped going with me to the gym (C hadn't been going with us in the first place). when i finally lost enough body fat to see the definition in my muscles, i expressed to R how excited i was to have abs for the first time in my life, only for her to respond with an eye roll and a "well, of course the first thing you do is brag about it."
i started dressing cuter, no longer hiding my body behind baggy clothes, and started styling my hair and doing my makeup, no longer hiding my face behind my wild hair and overgrown bangs. i took better care of both my skin and hair, finally putting effort into all aspects of my appearance. carried myself with better posture and more smiles. suddenly i wasn't "the ugly fat friend" anymore. i didn't know how drastically that would change the dynamic. my friendship and roommate status with C and R ended due to a multitude of reasons, but the resentment started (noticably, anyway) with the change in appearance/lifestyle.
my childhood friends, who knew me as fat practically our whole lives, also treat me a bit strange, although nowhere near as blatantly as my former roommates.when we hang out in public, it feels like some strange one-sided competition of "who is the hotter one" whereas before it was always a given; i was always the fat, unattractive friend, and they were the hot ones. i was telling a friend (we'll call her U) about an encounter i had where i was pretty sure i was being flirted with (inconsequential, nothing came of the flirting and i'll never see the guy again) and she responded with "he probably wasn't actually hitting on you. you just assume that now because you're..." and didn't finish the sentence. it really hurt, ngl.
i've had only one friend who knew me from when i was fat seem legitimately happy for me. she's excited that i'm in shape and love physical activity now, as she's a very active and fit person herself so we have more compatibility in lifestyles.
i really don't mean for any of this to sound braggy or come off as "wow i think i'm the hottest person to ever exist and the only reason that anyone could ever dislike me is because i'm prettier than them" because that is 100% not the case. it just seems like in this instance, my dynamic with some friends was affected by the change in appearance. for people who used to be the fat friend in your group, is this something that happens when you lose weight?
[link] [comments]
from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/D3qn0Nu
