One week in, 2.2 pounds down.

SW: 300.2 CW: 298 GW: 170

Last week I finally had enough and decided to make a change. After going to therapy to learn new skills on how to navigate through emotions, I felt like it’s time to take a crack at this weight loss journey again.

In the past 7 days I counted my calories, ate clean, and exercised.

I feel so much better and had more energy to play with my 14 month old daughter.

I know it’s just the beginning, but I feel really strong about this go around.

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If you didn't police them when they were gaining the weight, don't police them when they try to lose the weight.

This seems to be a recurring theme: "Help! My obese friend is losing weight and I think it might be too fast!"

When they were eating enough to gain and maintain that weight did you feel compelled to play armchair dietitian?

Were you running around posting about how you're worried they'll pick up an ED even though BED is the strongly correlated to obesity?

Were you worried about the health risks of the weight the same way you're worried about the health risks of their weight loss?

Were you worried about the low energy and mood issues from excess food intake the same way you're worried it now with their reduced food intake?

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If you did, congratulations, you're in a minority and a very open friend. Most people will say "No. I'm not a doctor and/or I didn't feel it was my place". And there's two common excuses for why they feel differently for weight loss:

"Well it's not sustainable! they'll just gain it back and then some!!!" — Regardless of method, a lot people will regain some weight after weight loss at some point. It sucks to hear that, but if there's anything that the many studies on long term weight loss have shown, it's that you need to confront the reality that there's a chance you will regain some of your weight lost, and need to try again, to keep your weight off.

A lot of us have gone through that cycle, and probably realize each time you either get a little closer to lasting transformation or you don't. If your friend is acting like you're killing yourself by dealing with the medical condition that's killing you, what are the odds that you'll be able to build up the mental capacity to keep trying it?

If all you get out of a weight loss attempt is negative feedback from those around you, and the scale rebounds, what's left to drive you for next time?

"I'm worried they're going to hurt themselves!!!" — The number one risk the CDC lists for obesity is "mortality". It increases your risk of death so drastically they need to use an umbrella term for "all causes of death".

The number one risk the CDC lists for malnutrition? Obesity. Followed by Type 2 Diabetes and Cancer, just like obesity itself.

If you draw a Venn Diagram of the risks of malnutrition and obesity, you practically get a circle. So your friend who's been eating to maintain hundreds of pounds of excess weight, has been taking the same risks you're suddenly concerned about. If anything the sudden change in diet, regardless of if it's sustainable, is a break for the stressors their body has been dealing with from excess food intake.

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Seriously, not all of us here are losing weight to get a killer beach bod. When someone posts about their friend losing double digit pounds in a few months, I guess maybe there is a chance that this is a 140 lb person who just lost 40 lbs in two months and is about to be admitted to the ER... but it almost always seems like they're just dealing with obesity or morbid obesity.

And the reality is, obesity is not "some" excess weight. Those of us struggling with it are not going to have the same outcomes that a study on "overweight" people shares. We're past the point where you can argue maybe BMI is just a bad measure of body comp. There's less room for "it's just poor body image, you're actually fine". And that's why while you'll find 100s studies implying crash diets don't work... but if you look at obesity specifically, the most recurring treatments with results are "unsustainable" things like LCDs and VLCDs (https://www.nature.com/articles/0800355 https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3442323/).

The strategies that lose the weight and the strategies that keeps the weight off are not likely to be the same thing for us, and for that reason "drastic" diets like VLCDs do much better for long term weight loss than more moderate diets: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/11684524/

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At the end of the day the best thing you can do for your friend is be there for them no matter which way things go, and if you're really worried about their health, focus on specific symptoms and not their general actions.

Don't say "you need to eat more" because you didn't see them eat or they seem hungry, at most point them to a doctor if they happen to share a specific problem with you. Sometimes this process going to just feel like crap, and sharing that fact doesn't mean they're dying or they need you to stop them. Sometimes they just need emotional support.

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What are your best tried and true go-to weight loss meals that anyone can enjoy?

Heading grocery shopping and making my weekly list. I’m creatively burned out in the kitchen and need some ideas!

My go-to recipes that I normally cook are taco soup/chili, Thai chicken curry, lentil soup, split peas, buffalo chicken combinations, spiral used zucchini spaghetti, spaghetti squash, veggie fried rice with egg. These are the kinds of recipes where I feel that you don’t need to be on a diet to enjoy but they are healthy and low calorie enough without toppings/etc that one can eat it to lose weight due to its filling and satisfying nature.

What are some of these kinds of staple meals that you cook?

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I like being invisible

I’m not sure if this is the right sub but I thought there’d be good insight from you guys.

I like being “invisible”. No attention from the opposite sex, no pressure to continue conversations that I don’t want, and so forth. Peoples eyes just slide right past me most of the time. I like it, it feels safe and comfortable.

As an introvert, I find chit chat exhausting. Also, I’m a labor and delivery nurse and there is a lot of small talk with patients and coworkers. There is a certain level of expectations of how to interact with patients. Very positive and bubbly. It’s fine and I put on my “face” but I think being fat, it’s not expected to keep it up. My jokes fall flat or conversations fade quickly. And before you know it, I get the relief of saying “ok, call if you need anything!”. Also, my coworkers don’t seek me out and if I’m quietly charting, they leave me alone.

I say this as someone who was fat, lost a bunch of weight (80 lbs on my 5’2” frame) and saw the change in peoples behaviors. People were overly nice. I got good deals and service (eg at the auto repair shop but I just assumed it was good place). I remember the first time a provider’s eyes lingered on me too long… so icky. People went out of their way to help me. I got compliments from new coworkers who never knew my weight loss history and older coworkers were falling over themselves to tell me how good I looked now. It made me so uncomfortable and embarrassed. And I’m not trying to brag about looks or anything... At my lowest, I was still technically overweight and average looking.

Then I gained all the weight back through the pandemic and a breakup. The guy at the car repair shop wasn’t friendly and he did a way worse job and offered less services. The same provider stopped talking to me unless I called about a patient. Coworkers stopped reaching out to get together. It’s actually made me resent people for treating overweight people differently which in turns makes me want even less to do with others. If I could live in a mountain cottage and enjoy a life of solitude, it would be ideal lol.

I just transferred jobs and have been used to being invisible. People knew me and knew what to expect out of me. But at my new job, my reputation for being a hard working nurse has followed me and so when people who know me introduce me, they say “this is lush_lavendar, she’s so amazing at x, y, z and we’re so lucky to have her”. It’s honestly embarrassing and I hate it. I’d rather show my work ethic through my actions. It’s happened a handful of times and it’s really shed light on how much I hate attention and how being overweight/obese has helped keep me in my comfort zone.

But I’m in 30s and I don’t like how my knees and hips ache at the end of the day now. Or that I’m at a significant risk for high blood pressure, diabetes or other chronic conditions. I want to lose weight to be healthy and age comfortably.

But if I shed my “safety blanket”, how can I deal with vulnerability that comes with being seen? Any insights, tips or advice from others that have been in the same position?

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Thoughts on CICO and body fat?

F31, 5ft4, SW: 170, GW: 140.

Hi all,

Restarting my weight loss journey for the 16363926252th time.

I was always slim and light until I hit about 22 and then life got in the way and I put on weight. Then in 2017, I lost a lot of weight and felt (and looked) great. I then got a new job and put on around 36 pounds. Since then I have desperately tried to lose those 36 pounds and failed every step of the way.

Today I was looking back through MFP from 2017 for inspo and noticed that the “lots” of weight was actually only 17lb! I averaged about 4.5lb a month! I do have more to lose now (30lb) but what was startlingly different was the fact I had a much much lower body fat %.

So, ramblings aside, my question is how do I lower my body fat %? It’s currently over 36% and ideally I want it to be around 25 or lower.

Is CICO the answer? I’m doing that anyway, but is there something specific I should be doing?

Thanks guys!

(I know the scales are inaccurate but I know I’m fat just by looking at myself!).

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Positive life changes -> bingeing

Hi, all. 5'7"/43 yo/F/SW 234-CW 207-GW 150.

A month ago, I got an amazing new job. I really needed this job. My family needed me to get this job. I feel valued and happy in the new workplace. But I'm facing some challenges in my weight loss journey, all related to this new job. I've gained 6 lbs back in the month I've worked here. I need to turn this ship around before it hits a weight-gain iceberg. I need some support from this dear community. (Also, I welcome advice.) So here's what's been going on:

1. Changes = stress = depression symptoms. Even though the change is positive, I am experiencing a recurrence of depression symptoms because major events send my brain reeling, apparently. I don't want to get back on meds because those make me gain even more weight, and I am cleared to be off them. (I got off my meds in 2020 and have been well since.) I know this period will pass, but right now I oscillate between frustration, weepiness, and feeling so overwhelmed, I think I might explode. It's hard to get up in the morning, and I am "powering through" at work. (The workload is manageable, but I am new and have to learn everything all at once.)
2. Stress = binge eating. If it's sweet, I stuff it in my gullet, even when I am not hungry or the food makes me feel sick.
3. Full-time desk job = sedentary life. Wow, I am unaccustomed to sitting for such long periods of time. When I was at home all the time, I kept busy and kept moving.
4. A never-ending bowl of chocolate sits in the breakroom at work. If it disappears, the admin assistant refills it, no questions about how quickly it disappears. I've been bingeing on it.
5. Long-ish commute = less time to go to the gym + exhaustion at the end of the day. (I do get 2 work-from-home days each week, though!) I leave for work at 6:45 am and it is a 15-20-minute drive to the gym, so getting a morning workout in is not feasible. I feel too guilty to go to the gym in the afternoon, as I have 2 kids, and 1 is young enough to miss me if I'm gone too long.
6. Exhaustion. Constant exhaustion. Early-waking insomnia + stress + sedentary lifestyle. OMG.
7. Foot pain from arthritis. My feet are killing me because I'm heavy. It's hard to walk a ton because my feet hurt. Lather, rinse, repeat.

Here's what I am doing to try to help myself. But your advice is welcome, as it is clearly not enough:

1. I reached out to my husband and my sister for support because I could feel that my mental health was off. They have been extremely supportive and loving. Hubby is carrying more of the load at home so I can take a breather every once in a while.
2. I just purchased some low-calorie snacks to keep at the office so I can avoid the Chocolate Bowl. My low-cal snacks are single-serve 120-calorie oatmeal packets and 30-calorie instant miso soup packets. I also cut up a carrot into sticks and bring it to work every day with peanut butter for dipping.
3. While I cannot eat vegan food for dinner because my family are all carnivores except for me, I've been eating mostly vegan food every day for breakfast and lunch. (Vegan instead of veg because of food allergies & sensitivities.) I do the "same breakfast" thing, meal prepping a tofu-potato-sweet potato-mushroom-bell pepper-garden greens scramble with nutritional yeast. I portion it into sandwich bags and freeze it. Every day, I grab one bag and put it into my lunch bag to have for breakfast. My lunches are usually those little microwaveable pouches of channa masala or similar Indian foods with tons of fresh veggies cut up as a side. Sometimes I bring a tuna sandwich instead of the pouches because it has a lot of protein.
4. My legs feel stiff and swollen if I sit still too long, and I fall asleep if I am not in motion. I've been popping up from my desk a few times a day and walking down the stairs from my 3rd-floor office to the first floor and back up again. When we aren't in the middle of a heatwave, I go outside and walk during my break time instead of doing other things. But right now it's jungle-hot out there, and I can't bear the heat enough to walk.
5. My desk adjusts to standing. I try to stand 1-2 hours of the day. The first hour and the hour after lunch are my stand-times because I don't want to get sleepy.
6. I've been trying to hit the gym on work-from-home mornings and on Saturdays, though I have not been consistent about it. Some days I just take a walk instead because I live in a beautiful place. But it's been hot and icky-sticky for a while now, so it's tough to get out. (Also, the AC is broken at my gym and it is stifling in there.)
7. I've gone back to meditation, which I used last time I struggled with anxiety and depression.

So, dear lose-it compadres, I need support, suggestions, anything ya got. Throw it at me.

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From where should I start my weight loss journey?

Hello! I'm 18 years old F 4'9'', current weight 165 lbs. So, I've always been pretty heavy since my childhood. But it wasn't that much of a big issue until I hit my pre-teens. I started gaining weight day by day, non-stop which made my mom super worried. She always talked to me about how badly I need to lose weight for my well being and stuffs but I never felt like paying any attention to her words. I gotta mention that I've taken many attempts to lose weight till this day in my life but failed to stay consistent to them. I tried different diets, used to do exercises (like walking and free hand exercises) too, though I never really liked them. But stopped after some time as always.

So, lately I, myself, started giving some thought about my weight and body. There was that day when I closely looked myself in the mirror for the first time probably and realized that I'm really really screwed up. It sucks tbh when I can't buy my favourite dresses or my old dresses don't fit to me anymore. I feel so bad and depressed but still I don't take any step. But these days I'm feeling like that I should do something about it fr this time. But the thing is that I tend to lose motivation so quickly. I feel like what's the point of doing it anyways? I'll never succeed. This kind of thoughts start barging in and I give up. So you can say, I'm screwed up both physically and mentally.

Still I've been searching up a lot about this weight loss stuffs for past few days and I'm so confused. Like, from where should I start? There are so many things on the internet and I don't know what to follow and what not. So, it'd be so helpful if some of you can give me some tips about how to begin and not lose hope. Though most of the time I feel like I won't be able to lose weight in my lifespan, I still have that 1% hope in me which tells me I'll be able to see a healthy me in the mirror one day. So, yeah I want to make the best use of my 1% hope now.

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