Starting again, again - and it feels great!

Starting Weight: 205lbs
Current Weight: 201lbs
Goal Weight: 150lbs

Hello dear Loseit community. Back again. Again.

In 2020, I lost 40lbs, reaching 160lbs. Then lockdown lifted and it turned out my new lifestyle required extreme and precise control over my food intake, to the gram. I couldn’t cope well with the grey area of eating at friends, work, etc again and just let nature take its course - I was back to 200lbs within six months.

In 2023 I lost 40lbs, reaching 160lbs, again with strict calorie control, this time incorporating exercise with C25K. This time it really transformed my life. I started running, kept the weight off for a year, ran 2 marathons, and felt incredible. I was like this whole new healthy, outdoorsy person.

Then I got labyrinthitis, for over a month. Everything just went back to old ways.

I stopped running, and just started eating (I didn’t cope with the not running very well mentally!). It turned out that running, not eating well, was how the weight was staying off. Eight months, a stressful (but very happy) wedding and moving cities later, I’m back to 200lbs and I haven’t run properly in a while, because its so much harder with all this extra weight on me and I just can’t face how slow and out of shape I must be.

I’ve been really down about it for the past month as I’ve slowly realised that I am cycling through about four outfits that still fit me. Then, last week I just had this epiphany: I can just do it again, and do it slowly. Time will pass either way and I may as well get moving in the right direction.

I don’t need to crash diet, eat 1200cals a day, lock in and refuse social invitations for months like I did last time. I can just eat well, mindfully, try to move more again, and keep a good handle on my TDEE and calorie intake. I just need to be going in the right direction.

So for the last week, I have just been eating 2 meals a day (intermittent fasting has always worked well for me to manage my appetite), I haven’t started logging anything again yet, because as I said - I think the watertight grip I had on exact calories was part of the reason I couldn’t keep it stable afterwards - I just got tired of it after a while.

I think the aim now is to lose it again over the course of a year, estimating daily calories and adjusting accordingly, and really focus on re-forming my relationship with food. I want to be to running again (safely), less for weight loss; more because it just fantastic for my mental health. I have tried to limit ultra-processed hyper palatable foods and I’ve already lost 4lbs in a week (admittedly likely mostly water weight).

It’s really hard, being back at the starting line. But I already feel so much more full of energy and pep (hello, no afternoon sugar crashes), and am enjoying the fun of creative cooking again - it’s always exciting to me to cook tasty, healthy meals as its like a challenge! I know I can do this, and each set back is a chance to learn. This is the time where it sticks.

I’ll see how it goes. If you’re in the same boat as me, have faith - we can do this!

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