Small victory: I just did a set of 8 squats. In a row. It doesn’t sound like a lot. But 3 had me WINDED. I also did 6 of these push-up position sequence things. I’m so fat and out of shape. Goal is to do that three times over the next week.

If I keep going, it will get easier. I have to forgive myself for not appreciating my healthy weight when I had it. I need to choose healing. Yes, I let myself get up to 240. That’s a lot for my height at 5’6”. BMI range: morbidly obese.

Those two words are so ugly, aren’t they? Morbidly obese. I also need to stop referring to myself as morbid because it’s just unintentional setup for a cruel joke:

“Morbid...ly obese.”

Kinda funny, depending on context and audience, but cruel nonetheless especially if someone says it about you. I’m clearly insecure and even paranoid about my weight. I feel as if it leaves me always on the defensive, thinking others are out to get me. I’m angry and/or irritated all the time. I can’t sleep. It’s a miserable existence.

Quality of life can be improved, for sure, by some consistent and minor changes that ultimately lead up to weight loss. I’m not sleeping well at night. I wake up at 2-3 am weeknights and don’t fall back asleep. 4 hours of sleep during the work week sucks. I really have no choice BUT to lose the weight.

The sleep study would cost $700 out of pocket, with insurance. Another $700 for a device, should I need one. Plus,I really don’t have the sick time for all these appointments at my new job. So unless I want to be miserable for the rest of my life, getting to a healthy weight is crucial. I also need to get over my judgment of that phrase: “losing weight”. It’s always bothered me, like I’m feeding into BS diet culture and letting them win. I need to just admit I need to “lose weight” and move on towards improvement.

I was also diagnosed as having Hashimoto’s and possible PCOS last year. Both conditions are said to improve by removing grains and/or dairy. Basically just eating more veggies and enough protein. A balanced diet. A wild concept to my convenient ways of eating. Diet will for sure improve my energy even before I lose the weight. I did intermittent fasting in the past and it did help me lose weight. I seem to have an all-or-nothing relationship with food due to my BED. I find I have more energy when I haven’t been eating as opposed to eating junk.

I’m going off subject. My point is I’m gonna start making some changes because I deserve to feel strong and healthy. Even though sometimes I feel as if I don’t deserve it, I really do. I need to forgive myself for not appreciating my health/healthy weight back when I had it. Or not taking advantage of my youth and attractiveness. I was always fat in my head. I only just now realized I never actually was until recently. The last 5 years have been in the 200+ range. It will only get worse unless I commit to making healing choices going forward in life. I can either feed the sickness or feed the healing.

I have amazingly not been super hungry today. I had a Sargento cheese/almond/candied cranberry thing and a Unicorn Bang. Two Coronas after work. I just started Trulicity and it’s been helping my appetite a bit. I just warmed up some plain old black beans with siracha and seasoning. Didn’t have a plan, don’t have a plan. Not hungry anymore though. Sometimes spontaneity serves me well in the kitchen, other times not so much. I’m lacking some ingredients. Veggies would be good. If I had some. (I never have them when I actually want to cook.) But at least those are edible with some seasoning and baking.

Short-term goals for this week:

1. I will go to the grocery store as needed to make at least a meal a day at home.

2. I will do at least 10 squats and 10 push-up sequences three times.

Long-term goals:

1. Have the smallest plus size be too big.
2. Lose 10% of body weight by 30th birthday.

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Here I go again...

Long story I apologize in advance...if you make it through...THANK YOU

In the beginning of 2014 I weighed my highest at the time of 268. I was aided by a weight loss company with phentermine, weekly lipo injections and weigh ins as well as a lower carb/high protein diet and I lost over 90 pounds in less than a year. I worked out every morning, I was a stay at home mom so was able to juggle gym, food and life and I felt the most amazing I had ever felt as I had been highly overweight my entire life.

2015 came and I started a job at 4 am so that knocked out my early workouts and then my mom was diagnosed with cancer. Taking care of her, working 25 hrs a week, homeschooling my kids I was exhausted. Depression hit me like a ton of bricks. Since then, I took care of my mom, every chemo and radiation, every dr visit, managed her meds...juggling everything I let myself go back. 2019 came in and just annihilated me. In February I found my mom unresponsive again and called an ambulance. She was put on life support and it was touch and go until she came to. We decided to go with hospice and man, it was the hardest 4 months of my life. She needed care 24/7 as she broke both of her femurs and due to the cancer she would not heal, she also did not have use of her hands due to neuropathy and her hands literally bent inward and we’re stuck like that. I was extremely close to my mom and cared for her along with a neighbor/family friend so she could die in her home. The terminal agitation she went through broke me, the rollercoaster was the ride from hell itself. She passed away June 2019. During that time I came home and found my brother (he lived with me) dead. He was only 40 years old. My mom was only 61.

To add more insult to injury, my daughter was put in the psych ward for suicide plans by her therapist. 2019 literally chewed me up and spit me out. I survived by the grace of God but have a lot of healing that we all are continuing to do. It’s just me, my husband, my two girls and my dad and an uncle.

I look at my mom and she was my best friend and my brother he loved me with everything he had. I still have my husband and my daughters and I just cannot put them through any more hell by not taking care of myself anymore. I love them too much to hurt them. I may not have health issues now but 61...40...that is too young!!! I turn 39 next week... I have to get my act in gear. I topped out at 289 in July. Since then I have lost 30 pounds but the first holidays without them hit harder than anticipated. I’ve only gained a few pounds back but it has to stop there. I’m determined. I promised my mom I’d focus on me...and the year I will.

I’m not doing phentermine but am attempting lower carb as that does work. Dirty Keto more so. I set up accountability and I am not looking back. Isaiah 43:18-19 forget the former things...do not dwell on them...I am making a new thing and making a new way.

Again thank you if you made it through. I look forward to this community and the motivation/support for each other

not sure how to post pictures but here is a snapshot

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Undid most of the progress I made in over 2 years inside 6 months.

Hi,

I started way back in Dec'17 and by March'19 I had lost over 32pounds and reached 15% body fat. Ideally, I had planned to get lean enough to have abs. But then things took turn for the worse.

One of the major reasons I started on the weight loss journey was to look attractive and have a relationship. Yes. As silly as it sounds, that was my reason and by April, I had a girlfriend. Goal achieved.

I stopped giving two shits about everything else then. Workouts became less and less frequent. Skipping the gym for the smallest of reasons became all too common. I ate all I could. Once a month I used to realise I've gotten fatter than what I was, so, used to calorie count and log in just one meal on MFP.

I have destroyed my progress in no time. From June to December, I ended up putting 20ppunds back and I look in a really bad shape.

Any of you reading this, please set goals that can only get better and more like milestones instead of a final destination.

From today, I change my goal. Get better. Get fitter. Get to 12% bf and get abs. From there, I will see what more I can do.

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Documenting

New to the forum, not new to diet/weight loss/training. 26F, I’ve been into fitness from around age 20 - didn’t always know what I was doing though. I’d like to think I know quite a bit about most systems involved when it comes to manipulating our bodies weight loss/gain, so I had done so on my own for quite a while. I have accomplished many build and cut phases - build, referring to eating in a tracked caloric surplus and utilizing progressive overload within the gym while minimizing most cardio in order to put on muscle; cut, referring to all of that, with the decrease of calories and increase of cardio. This past cut phase ended at the end of summer, my body fat was scanned in at 16.3% with a body weight of 122lbs average (using a dexa, there is room for error there although usually minor). Now, at the height of my build, my body fat is showing at 20.4% at a body weight of 138lbs. I thought it would be neat to document it for myself and anyone who may find it interesting!

Calorie intake will start at 1600 calories, which is -500 from my current intake. My average for water consumption is 5-6L per day. I do have hypothyroidism, so it’s worth mentioning. I train weights for the most part 6 days a week, unless I’m feeling particularly fried or not recovered, then I will drop it to 5 for that week, removing one of the lower body days. I am 5’3 as well! I don’t assume any ‘goal weight’, as it’s nearly impossible to say, with the added muscle, and muscle too that I may lose as a byproduct to dieting. I am going to aim instead for a body fat percentage, as the method I use is quite accurate - my aim is for around 15-15.5%. I don’t have a deadline, however I’m guessing anywhere from 12-16 weeks. I’ll post updates weekly, as well as progress photos if I happen to be so bold!

🥜

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Starting my meal planning at 1300 calories

So after my post earlier today I received some awesome feedback and feel like I’m now heading toward the right direction. Of course I haven’t DONE any of the things necessary except chose a much healthier meal for dinner (one step at a time). I’m going to do CICO and found a calculator that shows that if I eat 1300 calories a day with exercise 3-5 times a week I can ALMOST be at my goal weight by April. I got home and got on the scale for the first time in a few months and while I’ve been thinking I was between 165 or 167 I looked down and saw 172.4. My goal weight is between 140. Well I have to start somewhere. I’ve decided I will be meal prepping not only my lunch but also my dinner which I have never done. I’ll be weighing in every Friday morning to see if I am on track of my 1.5 to 2 pound loss every week. I want to make a goal of ATLEAST going to the gym 3 times a week but aiming at 5. I hate cardio but for now I’ll be doing a 50/50 balance of weightlifting and cardio where as before I’d only weight lift. In my calorie count for the day I’m going to fit in a treat every night because then I can stay sane. April is also perfect timing for my weight loss goal since that is my husbands birthday and he has decided that he’d like to go a water park.

Quick off topic question, how do I make my stats show up in the post bar? I’m newish to Reddit and would like to update at each of my weigh ins on Friday’s!

Edit: A word.

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How to stay motivated when people are saying I don’t need to lose weight?

Hello all! I started changing my lifestyle about 2 weeks ago. I’m down about 4 pounds and feeling pretty motivated! However, I have people in my life telling me things that make me feel invalidated. I am 5’3’’ and I currently weigh 184 lbs. I know I carry it well and it’s in “all the right places” (so I keep being told 🙄) but I don’t feel healthy. From a medical standpoint I am not healthy. My BMI is too high and my doctor has encouraged weight loss for awhile now. I really don’t appreciate my friends and family telling me I look fine and don’t need to lose weight. My goal is 140 pounds, which will put me in the normal BMI range. I’m starting to feel like the people in my life saying these things A) don’t really care about my health or B) are jealous that I’m working towards my goal. If anyone has been on the receiving end of comments like this, how did you stay motivated?

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I need to lose weight

Hi everyone! I am looking for some advice. I am doing a 2 month weight loss challenge and I really want to do CICO using My Fitness Pal. I am 21 years old, 173 Ibs, 5’ 7’’, F. I was looking at both 1400 calories/day and 1200 calories/day and I wasn’t sure what to do. I do HIIT ~5 times a week (burning anywhere from 450-600 calories per workout). I was initially planning on eating 1200 calories a day to maximize my weight loss but I heard that if you don’t eat enough your body holds onto the weight and I don’t want that to happen. I also don’t want to feel like I’m starving the whole time because I’m worried I’ll quit :/

Some background, a few years ago I hit my highest weight of over 215 Ibs. I was diagnosed with PCOS around the same time and upon going on medication and doing CICO I went down to 185 Ibs. I don’t remember how much I ate a day to lose the weight but I remember being hungry and feeling deprived the entire time, which is why I ended up giving up. Over the past few years I have jumped between 185 and 195 Ibs every few months. Last summer, I started HIIT and I got down to 173 Ibs but I am stuck and I know it’s my eating.

I’m just frustrated because I know I am the reason I am not losing weight. I’m constantly overeating and snacking. I think I’ve failed at weight loss so many times and I am scared that if I lose weight I’ll end up gaining it back. Most days I still see myself as being 215 Ibs.

I just want to get to a healthy BMI. I haven’t been in the healthy range since I was a baby. Ideally I would love to get to the middle/lower healthy weight range but for now I’m setting my goal to the upper limit of a healthy BMI.

Any advice and tips and tricks are appreciated!

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