Strangers’ comments about my progress make me uncomfortable

Today I went for a walk with my dog and came across a couple in their late 50s that was talking to my neighbor whilst keeping the social distance. First I said hi to my neighbor but after the couple turned at me I greeted them aswell, even though I don’t recall seeing them before, but I live in a small town and essentially everybody knows everyone here.

The husband commented how cute my dog is, and I didn’t even manage to thank him properly when the wife immediately changed the subject to asking me “how much I’ve lost?”, and at first I tried playing dumb in hopes that maybe we won’t get into that topic, and I asked her “lost what?” to which she responded by gesticulating a round shape with her hands and saying that now I “look gesticulating a chef’s kiss” and that she hopes I didn’t lose “too much”. I just nervously smiled and said that I didn’t lose too much and that it’s not that big of a deal but she kept talking about it and even pointing it out to her husband and my neighbor to LOOK AT ME AND SEE HOW MUCH I’VE CHANGED.

I left as soon as I could from that very awkward situation and it kept bugging me for the rest of the day. Even though I know that the lady had good intentions, I think it’s really unneccessary to feel like you have the right to comment on someone’s appearance (unless you’re complimenting their outfit/nailpolish/hairstyle/etc.) so directly, especially if you’re practically strangers. It could’ve been easily boiled down to “you look nice” and it would made my day/week, but now I just feel annoyed and kind of ashamed.

Just to be clear, I’m really proud of my weight loss and I enjoy finally being comfortable in my own skin, it’s just that I really hate being put in a center of attention so unexpectedly. I know that this is an extreme comparison to make, but if you would’ve seen someone with a visible birth mark or someone who’s going through chemo, you surely won’t be an insensitive asshole and point that out in a conversation with them (although unfortunately there are some idiots who would feel free to do so), then why is it socially acceptable to comment so up front about someone’s weight loss/gain?

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8 weeks ago, I vowed to make this lockdown the ‘healthiest weeks’ of my life. Today, I sit 10 pounds heavier.

Just feel so ashamed.

The lockdown announcement was a good time for me to get my shit together. No constant food shops, no snacks, exercising...

It was going okay. I was eating about 2/300 under my TDEE so the weight loss was honestly kinda unnoticeable for weeks. Then I went into my binge eating addictive cycle for a week or so... back to dieting... past week I’ve binged again.

Two weeks ago, at my best, I weighed in at my lowest weight in just over a year and a half. Due to last week I have wasted that effort I put in, regained all the weight, and now I am back to square one.

That 8 weeks feels like yesterday. I can’t stop thinking about how happy I would be if I really did stick to my guns and make that the healthiest 8 weeks ever. But instead, I’m sat here depressed and heavier than before.

How are you meant to keep up motivation to kick start your diet again, when you’ve got absolutely nowhere in two years?

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What was the best lifestyle change you made to get fit/lose weight?

There are two changes I personally made to get to a healthy body I like to look at.

​

1. I started to count calories. A lot of you probably already do this, but I have to say it helped me immensely, not just with staying on track, but primarily with seeing WHERE the extra calories (and extra weight) were coming from.

Again two things:

a) candy and snacks

b) 'healthy' snacks such as nuts

A caveat on nuts: Nuts are of course super healthy... but perhaps not when you're eating up to 200 gram of them a day. That's 1300 additional calories with most nuts that your body really doesn't need. The daily recommendation is around 30 grams.

​

1. I started to exercise 30 minutes 'a day'. I put 'a day' in apostrophes because sometimes it wasn't possible and sometimes I didn't care to or didn't want to do it because I felt a bit tired or exhausted or had done a lot of walking/biking to and from the station/grocery shopping already. There was always room to say 'no', which both allowed me to not feel overwhelmed (I HAVE TO do this today!) and to develop a healthy mentality.

Fitness and weight loss isn't about torturing your body (I did a lot of that too...), it's about finding a path you can stay on without feeling deprived or out of control. Sometimes, saying YES to the chocolate is good and saying NO to the exercise is good.

As with all things in life, it's a balance, and you cannot 100% 'be good' all the time or you'll start to feel deprived. It's ok to want that ice cream (although the less sugar you eat in general the less tempted you are!), and it's ok to say no to the gym, but if you do it twice or three times in a row, both having the ice cream and skipping gym (or whatever exercise you like to do) will become a habit. So don't let it! Have one ice cream scoop, not two (unless you really really can't live without that second flavour or just WANT that sugar today), and even if you're not going to the gym or doing your regular exercise regiment, try and just do some sit ups, push ups, jumping jacks, a ten minute walk, etc, at home!

​

So, guys and girls, what was the life change YOU made that helped you drop some kgs or pounds? Let's see if we can share something valuable for others on the path to health!

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SV: I am officially HALFWAY THERE!!!

In December 2019 I hit the highest number I have ever weighed, 154.2. Only 1.8 lbs away from being medically overweight. I was depressed, binging, and lonely. Eating entire pints of ice cream with bags of chips and Twinkies all washed down with Gatorade alone in my dorm room and drinking Starbucks three times a day because food was the only thing that brought me any happiness. I still fit in my clothes from 15 lbs before, and I still looked pretty good in them, but I knew if I didn't do something things would get out of control. Cue weight loss.

Today I hit 137.2 lbs, a total of 17 down since January, and halfway to my goal of 120! I don't see a dramatic change in the mirror, but I've lost two inches off my waist and my cheekbones are starting to come back. I gain weight in my face and stomach super easily. I also started Lexapro to treat my depression and anxiety and have been feeling SO MUCH BETTER. I can actually fall asleep at night like.,..easily?? I don't lie awake and worry for hours? It's insane!!

I'm so proud of myself for sticking with things this long. I have not been super consistent (basically took the entire month of March off...), but I've managed to get back on the wagon after every slip up. I'm now confident that I'll be able to hit 120 after trying and failing for years to do so, because honestly, tracking calories and sticking to my deficit has become almost second nature to me now! I want to look good when it's time to go back to college in the fall.

Mostly I'm just glad I managed to take back the reins from my eating habits before I completely spiraled!! Thank you for listening and I hope to see y'all again in September when I reach my goal!

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It is extremely important to log your weight when it goes up (even if it’s water weight!)

For the first half of my weight loss journey, I never recorded my weight when it went up and only recorded it when the numbers on the scale went down. But as I get closer to my goal, I’ve been seeing more fluctuations than ever on the scale and when the numbers go up it’s super demotivating.

I’ve started recording my weight as it goes up and then eventually comes down so that every time I experience a fluctuation, I can go back to look at my weight loss graph and feel positive that it will eventually come down. Just a little thing but can do so much for your motivation and help you stay on track!

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[NSV] New perspective on exercise

I used to feel like it was so easy to eat 1,000 calories but so hard to lose them. Eating 1,000 calories is just 12.5 Oreos and burning 1,000 calories takes hours of intense, sweat-dripping workout. To be fair, I still think that way, but I think about it so much less now. And here's why:

I've been trying to lose weight for ages. Every time I start up, I do really well for a period of time, but after a while, I feel constrained by the burden of such a strict calorie limit and end up reverting back to my old habits. This time around, I decided to switch it up. For the last 30 days, I've been following a strict CICO diet, combined with religious use of MFP and exercise (30 min spin bike + 30 min targeted muscle exercises) 5x/week. And I've lost 8 pounds!

Instead of thinking about exercise as a way to lose weight faster (let's face it, it's nowhere near as effective as CICO), I think about the estimated 300 calories I burn from my daily exercise as a bonus to my daily kcal limit. If I feel a craving for an extra snack, I no longer have the guilt attached to going over my daily budget, because the extra exercise has helped me budget for it. I'm still following CICO, because although I'm putting more calories in, I'm also putting more calories out!

Having this asset-based (instead of deficit-based) approached has really transformed how I'm perceiving weight loss this time around. I am watching the scale steadily move down, while being able to enjoy a guilt-free hot chocolate or extra handful of chips every day. Plus, I can feel myself getting stronger, which is helping send those happy hormones through my body and lending me emotional strength to stick to CICO. It's a win-win!

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7 years ago I put a goal weight into MFP. Today I hit that goal.

In June 2013, I downloaded MyFitnessPal for the first time. It asked me for my goal weight - I had no idea what I even weighed at the time (I guessed 230 lbs, turns out I was 280), but I thought to myself, “I think it would be nice to be about 160”, so I entered that. Fast forward almost 7 years later, and I hit my goal weight today! And you know what, it is pretty nice to be 160!

It’s been a long road, and it's not over. For one, I’ve moved the goal post. My next goal is to get to a healthy BMI at 145 lbs (I’m 5’4”), and I believe my UGW is 130 lbs. I’ve always been overweight/obese, so I’m not sure where I’ll feel my best - I’m willing to change the goal again as I continue this journey (up or down).

Progress Pics: https://imgur.com/a/U2r4URV

This sub has been incredibly inspirational to me, so wanted to share some details on my story in case it helps anyone with their journey. Feel free to ask me anything - I’m pretty much an open book about my weight loss.

2013 - First time losing weight:

I lost about 60lbs from June 2013 to May 2014. I did it with CICO - stuck to 1,200-1,400 calories/day, didn’t do any meaningful exercise. I cut out alcohol completely, but frequently saved hundreds of calories per day for desserts. Was it the healthiest option? Probably not, but it kept me on my plan.

2014-2018:

That summer I started a full time MBA program in a new city. It was an incredible experience, probably the best 2 years of my life, but alcohol fueled parties were almost a nightly occurrence, and I didn’t want to miss out on experiences. All in all, I did okay during school - maintained the majority of the loss. I told myself I could get right back at it when school was over. But restarting is hard. I had a stressful job - working long hours, feeling insecure, you name it. I wasn’t brave enough to get on the scales, but over the next two years I know I gained almost all the weight back.

Finally, my sister - who has always been thin - offered to count calories with me for ~6 weeks leading up to a vacation we had planned. We agreed to start May 1, 2018. It turns out all I needed was a committed start date - 2 years later I’m still going strong on the CICO train!

2018-Present:

I restarted my weight loss journey with what I knew - counting calories. But this time, I also spent the first couple weeks reflecting on what had led me to regain the weight. My conclusion was that my method in 2013 was just not sustainable - I was going to have to do something differently. I needed to be able to have the occasional alcoholic drink. I needed to be able to dine out with friends without derailing all my progress.

I decided to do two things differently:

• Cut out sugar - I was a sugar addict. Decided to eliminate all added sugar from my diet including artificial sweeteners. I still eat fruit, but was cautious about the quantity, especially in the beginning. It’s amazing how much sweeter other food tastes when you’re not eating added sugar. I literally think celery tastes a bit sweet.
• Be more active - I started just by walking home from work every day instead of taking public transit (~3 miles). Then I got a fitbit, and decided to set an audacious goal for myself - 20K steps a day.

When it started to get colder, I joined a gym for the first time. This was a game-changer for me. I started working with a personal trainer. Strength training makes me feel strong and confident. I discovered that I love powerlifting and I’m surprised to find that I love running. I’ve recently decided that whenever this lockdown ends, I’m going to run a half marathon.

My routine - by the numbers:

• Nutrition targets:
  • 1,600-1800 calories a day (TBH, almost always 1,800)
  • 100g protein minimum, usually closer to 130g
  • 25g of fiber minimum
  • I’ve recently started tracking fat as well, targeting 50g/day
• Fitness
  • 20K steps/day. I relax that to 15K/day on strength training days.
  • Strength training Monday/Wednesday/Friday. Mondays with my trainer - always the best workout of the week
  • Running Tuesday/Thursday and at least one weekend day depending on the weather. Typical run ~4.5 miles.

I hit my goal of losing 100lbs about a year ago, so I’ve only lost 20 lbs in the last year. There are times when this feels slow, but I try to keep reminding myself that tons of people would kill to maintain a 100 lbs weight loss for a year OR to lose 20 lbs in a year, let alone do both. This really is a lifestyle change for me. I love being active! And being active has taught me to think about food as a way of fueling my body. I know that when I’m eating right, I feel better and can do more in my workouts. I’m looking forward to having a little more flexibility in my calories once I hit my ultimate goal, but I also feel like I could keep doing what I’m doing for a long time.

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