Today I went for a walk with my dog and came across a couple in their late 50s that was talking to my neighbor whilst keeping the social distance. First I said hi to my neighbor but after the couple turned at me I greeted them aswell, even though I don’t recall seeing them before, but I live in a small town and essentially everybody knows everyone here.
The husband commented how cute my dog is, and I didn’t even manage to thank him properly when the wife immediately changed the subject to asking me “how much I’ve lost?”, and at first I tried playing dumb in hopes that maybe we won’t get into that topic, and I asked her “lost what?” to which she responded by gesticulating a round shape with her hands and saying that now I “look gesticulating a chef’s kiss” and that she hopes I didn’t lose “too much”. I just nervously smiled and said that I didn’t lose too much and that it’s not that big of a deal but she kept talking about it and even pointing it out to her husband and my neighbor to LOOK AT ME AND SEE HOW MUCH I’VE CHANGED.
I left as soon as I could from that very awkward situation and it kept bugging me for the rest of the day. Even though I know that the lady had good intentions, I think it’s really unneccessary to feel like you have the right to comment on someone’s appearance (unless you’re complimenting their outfit/nailpolish/hairstyle/etc.) so directly, especially if you’re practically strangers. It could’ve been easily boiled down to “you look nice” and it would made my day/week, but now I just feel annoyed and kind of ashamed.
Just to be clear, I’m really proud of my weight loss and I enjoy finally being comfortable in my own skin, it’s just that I really hate being put in a center of attention so unexpectedly. I know that this is an extreme comparison to make, but if you would’ve seen someone with a visible birth mark or someone who’s going through chemo, you surely won’t be an insensitive asshole and point that out in a conversation with them (although unfortunately there are some idiots who would feel free to do so), then why is it socially acceptable to comment so up front about someone’s weight loss/gain?
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