Last night before bed I was 149.8 pounds. Officially below the 150 mark, and about 5 pounds away from my “goal” weight.
But honestly, nobody can tell. And it’s not that it was so gradual no one noticed- even people that (due to corona) haven’t seen me since the weight loss really took off (I would say 30 of those 35 have been since mid March) were shocked that I was ever as heavy as I was.
I can tell in the ways my clothes fit that I’ve lost a lot of weight but a simple visual observation doesn’t show a drastic difference. But I was 185 pounds and 5’3”. That’s OBESE, and no one believed me when I started declining seconds and such that I was that far overweight. And now I’m only 5 pounds away from what my doctor said was a healthy weight for me, and the main reason for the weight loss has been achieved and I am no longer pre diabetic. Because honestly, while I did this because my health was a mess because I was overweight, I haven’t had any face gains, no dramatic before/after shots, and even though they fit differently, I didn’t even need to buy new clothes. And I still just look slightly chubby.
I am grateful I can keep my cute wardrobe, I am grateful my health has drastically improved, but I am a little sad I am not getting the recognition that “hey, you look like you’ve lost weight!”
I guess I’m posting here for a little discussion about celebrating milestones when everyone else around you doesn’t even see there was an accomplishment to begin with. I’ve been doing very simple CICO and I don’t exercise much. I just kinda eat when I’m hungry, am mindful of portion sizes, and don’t force myself to finish when I order out. I think cutting back on restaurant sized portions was a huge part of why this weight loss has felt so achievable to me. But it also makes it feel like even less of an accomplishment because I didn’t get extremely strict with my diet, I didn’t even exercise, I didn’t follow any meal plans, and nobody notices the weight loss, so it’s all just so intangible.
Side note: I have worked with a therapist to ensure this weight loss didn’t just cause me to develop a different sort of disordered eating (I have been anorexic before my obsession with food turned to bingeing) and this very casual method is the only thing that works for me before bringing up disordered thoughts and actions. I know that the very fact that I managed to lose so much weight by just asking myself “are you sure?” before I ate that cupcake or got a second helping is, considering my weight has previously swung from 85 to 185 pounds, an accomplishment in and of itself and my only advice to everyone else on a weight loss journey is don’t underestimate the help of a therapist to work through your food issues. Whether you use CICO or keto or IF, a nutritionist, a doctor, and a therapist should all be on your weight loss team if you have the privilege of good health insurance. But out of the three I would rank the therapist as the most important.
Editing to add: I should mention I never disliked my physique. Honestly, I was one of those lucky women who didn’t notice the fat because it all went to “sexy” areas, and thick thighs and fat asses are “in” right now. I still very much have that hour glass figure. It’s not an issue where I feel like I was/am ugly and want to change. It’s more of... I wish there was external validation that this was hard and people would oooh and aaaah over me the way I see people do over other peoples weight loss.
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