People who have successfully lost large amounts of weight - how do you motivate yourself to get started AND keep going? Feeling discouraged that I have 100+lbs to lose (Previously lost 50lbs but gained 80lbs back)

F/5’5”/248lbs

Sadly this isn’t my first time posting to loseit. Over the years, my weight has been all over the place. In 2015 I weighed 145lbs. By mid 2017, I had skyrocketed up to 215lbs. I began dieting and exercising, and early 2018 I was down to 165lbs. I also had a very active job then, and was doing on average 15k steps a day, sometimes upwards of 25k steps.

The last 2 years have been hard. I moved to a new city and got a sedentary office job. My mental health plummeted. My dad was diagnosed with cancer, and underwent intense chemo and radiation. I made lots of excuses to binge. Since then, I’ve been gaining weight rapidly. Last year, I threw out my scale. I didn’t want to face my binge eating and weight gain.

Lockdown made me realise how uncomfortable I am with my body. The last few months, I’ve felt so lethargic and struggled to get off the couch. I could spend a whole day moving between the couch, fridge and bathroom. Seeing how ‘normal’ my husband is made me feel worse. (Ie waking up energised, wanting to go for walks or drives and do activities, motivated around the house etc)

This week I finally bought a new scale. And lo and behold, I’ve gained over 80lbs since January 2018. I’m so disgusted and disappointed with myself, I was so close to my goal weight!!

I reinstalled MFP this week and I’m on day 5 of tracking my food. Eating at a deficit. I know all about weight loss, I lost 50lbs before. But now that I have so much more to lose, I’m feeing really discouraged. I’m a foodie, I love cooking and going out to restaurants, and wine! The thought of having to change my habits and lifestyle is really daunting.

But at the same time, life can’t go on this way. Something’s gotta give. I feel horrible in my own skin. I bumped into an old high school acquaintance at a conference halfway around the world from where we grew up and they didn’t recognise me. That was embarrassing. FWIW, I’ve felt mentally a lot stronger these last few days that I’ve been eating well and cutting out the alcohol.

This ended up being longer than I had anticipated. Thanks for reading. If anyone has any tips for me, embarking on a 100lb weight loss, I’d be really grateful. It feels so overwhelming.

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