Made it to Onederland today and I am ECSTATIC!! The best part is this is the first time losing weight has felt sustainable.
My recent history
- In 2014, I got a personal trainer. I woke up at 5am every morning, trained, and ate the same way I always did. I thought hardcore exercise was enough. No results, and it sucked because I hate the gym. I also permanently damaged my shoulder from overexercising.
- In 2015, I tried the same thing but with spin classes. Turns out I love spin class, but again, without dietary changes I didn't see results and quit.
- In 2016, I joined a rapid weight loss program. They put me on a very restrictive diet and I had a personal trainer at 6am 5x a week. Lost 40lbs during the program, and gained 60lbs back immediately after it ended.
- In 2017, I spent 6 months in the Emily program for binge eating disorder. This was probably the first useful step in getting my weight and health under control. They taught me how to tell if I'm actually physically hungry, to not ignore my hunger, and to eat the foods I like in moderation. They also helped me be comfortable in my body since even when I was a normal weight during my teenage years, I thought I was fat. Most of the therapists there had struggled with weight previously and could relate.
- In 2018, I stopped obsessing over weight loss and started working on improving my mental health. I realized the two were super tied together. I quit the job that was driving me crazy. I moved back to my home country to be closer to family and friends. And I got a dog.
- In 2019, I chilled the fuck out.
- In 2020, I'm finally ready to get back on this journey and do it in a better way.
Things that are helping
- This sub! I read posts here every day. I can't explain how different it feels to go through the ups and downs with people who understand. People in the exercise and weight loss industries who have never struggled with weight fundamentally do not get it.
- CICO and logging food. Special diets like Keto have not worked for me. What does seem to work is eating the foods I like in moderation. I had two spoons of Nutella yesterday BUT it was the first craving I've had in weeks, I still stayed at my calorie goal, and at least I didn't eat the whole jar :D
- Taking it slow. Historically, I've swung between all and nothing. I go from sedentary to exercising 5x a week. I'm intentionally taking it slow this time. I've set a bunch of different goal weights and things to introduce at each stage. I started with CICO, I'm going to start stretching now that I've hit Onederland, and in the next phase I'll figure out exercise.
- Tiny plate. I've started using the same small plate for all my meals. Helps with portion control. Also, I've started associating eating with that plate which is preventing grazing.
Things to work on
- Social eating skills. I'm learning to accept that I'm a small person height-wise, and I can't eat the same portions as my taller friends. I can't order the same things as them at restaurants. I need to get much more comfortable with this for whenever quarantine ends. I also need to enforce my boundaries better. I don't like the taste of any alcohol, but it's a huge part of the culture here, especially at work. I often find myself drinking wine just to fit in. I don't like it and it's extra calories.
- Exercise my way. I hate the gym. Hate hate hate. I don't think it will be sustainable to train myself to like it. So I'm figuring out how I like to exercise. I used to love playing Ultimate Frisbee and would run for days in pursuit of a disc. But I don't like running on its own. Maybe I need to join some organized sports again when I'm ready. Or, try jogging with my dog. I like walking with her, so maybe stepping it up a notch is doable.
HUGE thank you to this sub! I honestly love this community and am excited to keep going :)
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