I am struggling with my eating habits. I have good days and bad days, and lately I feel like I'm undoing my progress with my eating habits. I've been using my Fitbit and tracking my food for some time now. I'm having a hard time not wanting to eat. I'm not particularly hungry all of the time, I just have the desire and urge to eat. I enjoy the tastes, the chewing, and putting food in my mouth. I really just like eating. And it's the portion size that is a problem because I don't just want one small serving of something. I want to snack on popcorn or chips or cookies, etc. For example, the sensation of munching on popcorn one after the other in a big bowl while I watch a movie is very enjoyable. I think it's the hand to mouth sensation that I enjoy. Like I get sad when I finish my food because then the sensation ends. It's different when I have a meal and I'm full. Or drink a smoothie and am full. I have conditioned myself to basically eat this way my whole life. I don't want to feel like I have to limit myself with food in order to reach my weight loss goals even though I know it needs to happen. It makes things inconsistent because I'll have days where I do very well and am mentally focused. And other days I just don't care, eat whatever of how much I want, and slack on exercise. I also don't want to live with the mindset, I will just burn off the calories exercising, because then I'll use that as an excuse to keep eating. I don't want to be scared of food. But I have an unhealthy relationship with food and I have trouble finding a balance and being satisfied limiting my food choices. I'll have days where I'll eat salad and all that chewing satisfies my urge to keep eating. But then I don't feel like eating a salad anymore. I recognize these are probably common mental hurdles. I just wish there was a simple switch I could turn on to get my mind in gear and be consistent and not feel the need to go on a binge.
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