Trying to help my teenage daughter lose weight

My wife and I are growing concerned with our daughter's weight. She's 17, 5'5, and 175. She was chubby when she was young, we put her in some sports, which led to weight loss, but, for some time now, its been creeping back up. The quarantine has not been helpful, and her using her own money to buy the foods she wants are not helpful. A large percentage of the food in the house is healthy. She eats pretty much only what she buys, thinks our food is " weird".

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We don't want to go at this like bulls in a china shop, recklessly, and we don't want to treat her like she's not privy to this occurrence. We go back and forth between, " We're her parents, we need to help fix this" and " she's almost 18, let her do what she wants." We're petrified to take the 1st step, simply put.

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What's the sensitive way to handle this?

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TLDR: Most effective way to handle daughter's weight gain?

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Feeling lost trying to help my friend lose weight, need advice on how to communicate.

Hi all. I’m having trouble with boundaries in my friendship, I’ve become some sort of “weight loss coach” for my friend but I’d like to transition out of that gracefully without hurting our relationship.

Regarding myself, I started my weight loss journey in 2015. I had gained 50lbs from age 17-19. Luckily a few years later I came to a mental space where I was ready to lose it. I spent the next few years losing 60lbs. I’m now 25 years old, ~ 21 BMI and feeling content with the way I feel and look.

I have a friend that I’ve been close with since we were 15. She has always fluctuated in the overweight range. She has always had a VERY unhealthy relationship with food and body image, going to extremes usually... her weight loss efforts were never done in a self-compassionate or balanced way.

As she watched me lose weight slowly she began to ask for my support and guidance on her own weight loss journey. For the past 5 years I have tried to share as much of the journey as I could with her, in case any of it could help her. I shared my strategies, my focus on balance and self-love, and my efforts. It became a huge part of our friendship.

Fast forward to now, we’re 25. She is still yo-yo dieting despite my effort to get her into a lifestyle change mentality instead. She’s in the same place, still asking for me to help, but I feel a little burnt out of helping her to this extent. I am now in a relaxed place of maintenance and I feel like I put in my work, and want to stop allowing thoughts about weight loss to be a huge part of my day. I’ve shared the importance of self-kindness, dedication, and strategizing. She just doesn’t seem able to do it right now, or in this way. I have faith that someday she will, but I don’t feel equipped to help her get there. I also know that losing weight is hugely individual and I don’t blame her at all for her challenges she faces.

How can I nicely say that I want her to seek out professional help rather than rely on me? What should I tell her? I don’t want to make anything harder for her, I know she is struggling a lot already. (She goes to counselling, physio, etc...I feel like this is mostly mental health barriers and she may need a different counsellor...?). I have also suggested this sub as a community to seek out. I don’t think there’s anything else I can do, and quite frankly there’s nothing else I want to do at this point. I want to support and love her, but not be her therapist/weight loss coach, which I’ve sort of taken the roles of.

Feel free to share any advice, stories, or thoughts you have! Thanks!

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Am I being too hard on myself physically?

So decided a few days ago that I want to lose weight and I decided that I would stop ordering food (reason for weight gain) and I got rid of all snacks and drinks in my house and planned a timetable of a balanced diet and I won't calorie count but I would stop eating when I'm full. I also decided to dance for an hour a day for exercise. This has had zero effect on me mentally (I weaned myself off takeout before starting) and I realised I have a pretty low appetite when I'm not surrounded by food designed to get you addicted. And I thought this was awesome, and I'm literally losing 1 kg per day. Is this normal? Should I force myself to eat more even though it's against what my body is telling me to do? This is a bit worrying because I'm already in the normal BMI range so shouldn't weight loss be harder?

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I'm on a diet and not losing anymore

It's my 16th day of the diet. On day 10 I was X5.4kg and Day13 still the same. On that day I went for a 2h or longer bike ride which is not what I normally do. On day 15 it suddenly became X5.6kg and today it's still X5.6kg. I'm 22 years old. It's 1000 callorie diet, around 2L of water daily and intermittent fasting for 16:8. No exercise as it makes me more hungry. Only what I do nOfc at the beginning I was losing fast coz of water. But then it started to slow down and I was like that's okay. The diet was easy and it didn't make me feel weak. I weigh all of my foods and calculate calories accordingly to the nutrition info on the package for most of the items. I also leave a window for mistakes of about 50-100 calories. I'm very strict with both fasting and callorie intake so I haven't cheated even once. I know it's been only over two weeks. But usually I'd see a weight loss every week when I dieted before. So I'm confused on what's going on. Is there any way to start losing again? Or do I just have to continue and wait until it happens? Any tips and help is welcomed.

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Emotional component of binge eating

Hi guys, I know that, for many people, binge eating is caused by past trauma. I think that for me it's my childhood emotional abuse that started it.

Trying to find solutions, I stumbled upon a youtube channel called "Eating Disorder Recovery for a New Beginning", it seems to have gone unnoticed, but the advice there is amazing.

For example, I realized that for me, the tension generated by anger and anxiety is always located on the food trajectory (usually around esophagus-stomach), and eating makes it go away.

Also, there is one video about sabotaging weight loss where they ask "what are you afraid will happen if you lose the weight", and I realized that I am afraid that, by being thin, I will atract a lot of unwanted male attention and I will have to say no to a lot of persistent guys. I used to be thin and that actually caused me a lot of anxiety.

I spent a long time searching for advice like this, so I thought that I would share to help other people who are struggling. I hope this is not considered off-topic, but if it is, my apologies.

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PSA: Weight Loss isn’t linear, but weight-smoothing apps sure help!

I have been working on losing weight for a long time now- it’s my 650th day of logging according to my fitness pal. And, during that time, I’ve lost quite a bit of weight (down almost 50kg/110pounds). I still have a little farther to go, and am still working hard towards reaching my goal of a healthy BMI.

But what I want to talk about is my rate of weight loss: it is NOT linear. I am about 17 pounds/8kg away from having a healthy BMI. And, the lower my weight gets, the weirder the weight loss patterns get.

Usually, my pattern was have a big drop, gain a little back over 6-8 days, then have a big drop (but lower than my first drop), creating a general trend downwards. Recently, I have just been flat-lined around one number. For the past 10 days, I have weighed right around 78.0kg (or about 172 pounds). Nothing is really different, I’m eating around the same calorie goal I’ve had for a while (1600-ish), and still getting about 3-4 hours of activity in per day at work (I am a city postal carrier). So, I know that I’m in a calorie deficit. Maybe not the largest one, but I’d estimate my own TDEE around 2100. So, I’m happy with a diet of about 1600 calories per day. I don’t need to go fast!

I made this image to help anyone who hasn’t been losing weight for as long as I have, and is feeling insecure and/or worried that “something isn’t working.” (Note: Happy Scale data is in kilograms, and Apple Health data is in pounds) I’ve been at this long enough to know that even though I might be doing “everything right,” the scale might still not reflect that work, which can be demotivating.

I log my weight in Happy Scale every morning, which is an app that smoothes out my weight fluctuations, and considers all of the data I have entered over a given period of time. I also have Happy Scale set to write my daily weights directly into Apple Health, which applies no such transformations to my data. It just robotically plots a y-value of my daily weight along an x-axis of the date.

If you look at my Apple Health data, it’s just a flat line, and might be a cause to think that what I’m doing “isn’t working.” If you look at my Happy Scale data, however, it shows that even though my actual weight isn’t budging, based on the overall data I’ve entered, I’m still losing about half a kilo a week (which is what I would expect, given my my estimation of my TDEE from my height, activity level, and current weight).

I don’t have a great explanation for why my weight loss isn’t showing up on the scale (it’s gotten hotter recently, and I’m outdoors a lot, so maybe that has something to do with it), but at this point in my weight loss, I know that I’m doing the right things for my body, and I just need to keep doing them.

It can be demotivating to not “see” progress on the scale, but that’s what these weight smoothing apps are for! They help us not miss the forest for the trees. It’s easy to get hung up on numbers, but, as humans, our impulse is to see TODAY’S number, and fixate on that. The weight smoothing apps (Libra for Android, and Happy Scale for iOS) can really help us cut through the noise, and get a better understanding of what’s really happening.

I hope this helps someone out there!

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I've reached my goal weight after just a little more than 2 years - and now I want to start working on my general fitness more.

Good morning everyone! Hope you've all been well and safe during quarantine :)

Just a warning that this is a pretty long post haha.

My weight loss journey started sometime in 2018, when I became aware of the fact that I had gained weight. I didn't feel good about the way I looked anymore, but I also struggled with my body image emotionally and mentally. I am ~172 cm ( 5′7.7) tall, and at my heaviest weight that year, I was around 76-77 kg (167-169 lbs). During that year, I decided to make an effort to make a change to my diet and exercise more. By the end of 2018, I was around 67-68kg (147-149 lbs), and I started to feel better and have more energy in my life. Unfortunately, I was restricting myself to around 1200-1300 calories, which is not enough considering I was still growing and fairly active.

As school holidays came around, I lost motivation and stopped tracking and exercising as much. By February 2019, I had gained the weight back again, going to around 75-76 kg (165-167 lbs). I was so disappointed in myself, so angry at myself for undoing all my hard work. However, I was inspired once again when I saw the changes my older brother was making to his own life. I started again, this time eating around 1400-1600 calories, increasing my steps to around 10,000-15,000 a day, and also began to go to the gym around 3-4 times a week.

Around October - November last year, I was at my lowest weight in several years, fluctuating between 61-62 kg (134-136 lbs). I was happy, and working on increasing my strength at the gym. December 2019, I once again became lazy and unmotivated, and when I weighed myself again at the end of February 2020, I had gone up to 1-2 kg. Not as much as I thought, but I was still a little disappointed. If I'm being honest, during these years I wasn't at my best emotionally or mentally, and this really affected my relationship with food at certain points. I struggled with binging and restricting, and my relationship with food deteriorated.

At the beginning of March 2020, I decided to once AGAIN try gettting back into shape, which became slightly more difficult as everything started to close down due to the coronavirus. I wasn't as strict about tracking calories and just decided to exercise more. I did accidentally lose more than I intended because of work, as I move around a lot and used to not be hungry but instead very tired. As of today when I stepped on the scale, I am 58.1 kg (~128 lbs), and finally am able to eat my maintenance calories. My goal weight was 60 kg (132 lbs). In total, I lost around 17.9 kg (39 lbs), and I am proud of myself.

This, of course, doesn't mark the end of my journey. I will be more focused on body recomp and gaining more muscle, as I did actually lose too much weight in a very short amount of time. But now, I look forward to what the future holds.

Even now, I still struggle with not obsessing over food or the number on the scale, but I am working on tackling these issues and learning to love myself - both the past and present me. I hope from my story, I can possibly inspire someone to never give up, and to embrace the little setbacks as part of your journey.

Have a good day everyone!

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