This is probably a very controversial title for many.
Post ended up being much longer than I expected so TLDR: lost weight two times before, was not fun to say the least. Lost weight third time, was kinda fun and easy. Conclusion: weight loss might be not as bad as you think.
So what happened is that I suddenly reached my ultimate goal weight last week. And moreover, I haven't abruptly stopped after that, like have always happened before. I just... continued?
Counting calories, eating exactly what I ate over the last 4 months - just a tiny bit more. And I feel great. Not because of weight loss. But I just feel good in general about my new eating and behavior patterns.
This gave me a lot of thinking why this time it's different. I lost weight two times before this, every time using CICO. But every time I was jumping from my "diet" as fast as possible as soon as it ended. It put me near ED, I felt afraid of food, was really restraining myself from eating what I really wanted (e.g. some sweet pastry), I was weighing myself every day and my mood really depended on that scale number. I went to the gym religiously even when I was tired and didn't really want to go, sometimes I had to drink energy drink just to get through my gym workout. Yes, it gave pretty fast results, I felt great about the results - but inside I was suffering, and I didn't want to admit it. When my friend told me that she didn't feel bad about CICO, she is really ok counting what she eats, I didn't believe her. I thought everyone is suffering restricting themselves from eating food they want in the quantities they want.
After those 2 times, I didn't go into weight loss for about 5 years. I didn't have to, but also I remembered dieting like one of the worst things to do to yourself. So when I gained weight under corona, I felt really helpless. I had to get on this journey again and I remembered how bad it was. So when I started I was not even determined, I was prepared not to succeed, my main goal was simply to get my food under control and not make myself unhappy again while doing that.
Surprise-surprise, I didn't really suffer this time. There are some things I did differently:
- I didn't set unrealistic goals. My weight loss was two times slower comparing to previous times. I was OK with not losing any weight at all, in the beginning.
- I had to stop the gym half-way because of a knee injury and I didn't even walk more than around my apartment for a week or two.
- I learned that walking and just moving in any way burns more calories than I expected, so I generally started moving more.
- I ate my exercise calories, even from walking and chores (I want to make a separate post about it, because of how important this is).
- I ate sweets that I wanted (just making sure I really wanted them and that I get enough proteins from other food).
- I overate my limit when I really wanted to eat before bed - but didn't beat myself for that
- I told my boyfriend and everyone else about my diet and learned to stop being embarrassed about it.
However, my main take away from this time - weight loss was not really hard. Not as hard as I expected it to be after previous times. It was actually much-much easier and almost fun! Yes, there were some times where I had to say "this is enough" to myself. There were times when I really wanted something but had to talk myself out of it. But there was no suffering, no heroic moments, no jealousy about "normal people" diet. It just required a bit of attention and some habits switch.
And why I wanted to make this post is because of two reasons:
1) I'm seeing quite often here how people are struggling. Many write they want this to end and forget about it, that they hate CICO, that they dream about some foods all the time, that they are afraid to eat out, etc. This gives me particular vibes from my previous successful-but-unhappy weight losses. I know everyone fights their own battle. But because of my little story, I started thinking that maybe - just maybe - it should NOT be like this? If you feel miserable, maybe something needs to be changed. Even if it brings results. Maybe we all should stop accepting that suffering is the obligatory part of the process?
2) I know how hard it is to start. If you are like me, afraid, or just held back by your previous attempts, try anyway, with some goals but your mental wellbeing in the first place. Maybe it'll be not as hard as you think?
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