Wife says I'm "bullying" her into losing weight

My wife and I have been on a weight loss journey for some time, we're quite young (25 and 27) but we started gaining weight after getting married. We agreed to lose weight 6 months ago, in that time I've lost 90 pounds, she has lost only seven. I'm now 195 at 6ft, she is 202 at 5'5. I understand I had more weight to lose but I now weigh more than her and it feels like she could have put in way more effort. She starts the diets then gives up later. I've overhauled my entire life.

My attraction to her is fading the more weight I lose and I feel terrible, but I can't help it. I have developed a revulsion for fat and overeating, mostly directed at myself but sometimes I project it it on her. I get irritated when I see her eat junk food. I even helped her made a diet plan and meal prepped for her (this apparently felt patronising). She hates me commenting on her food choices and has gotten very upset sometimes. She told me she now feels like she hates her body more, I was sad about that but at the same time she could use it as motivation like I did?

I know she wants to lose weight, but I don't know how to help her and clearly I'm not doing it right. I can't see the marriage lasting anymore if she doesn't lose weight. I know that's harsh, but our lifestyles are so different. I do love her though.

On top of this, she is critical of my dieting and thinks that I'm too strict and miserable, but I like my strict schedule and I feel like it has changed me for the better. I have so much more discipline now, and I feel like I can reach any weight I want. She rolls her eyes when she sees me weigh food and log things in MFP. I apparently give her "dirty looks" when she eats. The only time we have fun together now is when we go out and do activities. I try and get her to do more with me but she doesn't want to. She likes to relax and watch netflix but I feel guilty doing that now, I don't like missing workouts for any reason really. We used to go out to eat together but we no longer enjoy it, she feels judged and I get stressed trying to count the calories and find something healthy.

She thinks I only see her for her body but really that is not true, when I married her she was overweight, I love her for who she is, I just wish she would put the effort in like she promised.

How can I help her? Am I being too mean?

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A good doctor's visit! NSV

Yesterday I went in for my physical and to go over some bloodwork done a week ago with my doctor who I haven't seen in about 6 months. Started my weight loss at 254 lbs at the beginning of the year. Now, I had lost a lot of weight about seven years ago, going from somewhere near 300 lbs down to 150 lbs. I gained most of it back over the years due to giving up a healthy lifestyle and also going on Abilify did not help me in that aspect.

Anyway, I haven't noticed much of a change even though I've gone from 254 lbs down to 217 lbs. But once I was called in, the LPN who I didn't even think remembered me commented, "Oh, you look great!" I was taken aback. "You remember me?" I asked. She nodded and said of course, and even commented on my new haircut. I was so flattered, as really no one has commented about my change, at work or my friends. I thanked her and waited for the doctor. And when she came in, she told me she was so happy with my labwork, that everything was looking good and showed me the numbers. I didn't understand all of it, but my cholesterol was way down and I'm assuming everything else was levelling out. And my blood pressure, which has been high in the past, was completely normal. I think hearing my doctor say I am doing a great job and looking genuinely happy and excited about it really gave me that much more motivation. She was so nice I was tearing up a bit.

I'm one to dread going to the doctor's office for any reason, always had anxiety about it. But this visit was very positive, gave me motivation to keep trying my best, and made me feel more confident. And now I have another round of labs due in 3 months and another checkup, I really want to lose that much more and stick to my lifestyle change. If you're in healthcare, just want you to know that these comments and encouragement mean so much, even just noticing slight changes or remembering someone at all. So, thanks!

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Need help counting my macros. Throwing in the towel on the RO strength fat loss template. Help, please.

SW: 198 CW: 184 Height: 5’2 Sex: Female Age: 31

Not sure where to begin. I started my weight loss journey in the middle of May and I have made significant progress using the RP fitness fat loss template. I’m on week ten (should be finishing up twelve weeks) and I’ve lost more than I thought I would. However, I’m becoming very irritable with the low amounts of fat and carbs it now has me on. The template has multiples sheets and when I first began the journey the “base” had me eating very balanced. Then I moved on to the fat loss 1 sheet and my data dropped considerably (down to 30gF per day) but my carbs were still high.

Now, on fat loss 2 and my macros are as follows:

Training days: 180g protein 30g fat 40g carbs (although it fluctuates depending on the timing) but it’s never more than 60g of carbs. I’m ready to stop RP and go back to eating carbs 3 cups of veggies per meal (12 total) The meal during workout is 30g whey protein and either 15g carbs prior to workout or 45g carb powder during workout along with 30g whey protein. The last meal is 30g casein powder.

RP has taught me a lot in terms of eating protein and vegetables. I should add, I gained a lot of weight after having my daughter (she’s almost three). Prior to that I was fit and ate clean. I’m ready to continue to shed the weight. I’ve enjoyed eating clean but I want to do it in a way that allows me to eat brown rice and sweet potatoes. I’m miserable eating like this. I’m happy that I’m losing and I feel great that I don’t feel like a sluggish snail however I am moody AF.

I should also mention I do CrossFit 4-5x a week. I’ve been doing off and on CrossFit for five years. I went back when my daughter was a year old but I wasn’t eating clean and I wasn’t losing weight. I see now how diet and exercise is helping me achieving weight loss but I’m not happy about minimal carbs.

Also on non weight training days macros are as follows: 200g protein 30g fat 50g carbs 3 cups of veggies per meal (12 cups total) The last meal is a casein shake and 20g fat.

edit a typo RO should be RP

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I am done trying to lose weight now, but am afraid of gaining it all back

I’m a 5’ 7” female, weighed 128 pounds this morning. 1500 calories is leaving me feeling weak and tired and makes my workouts feel miserable, so I’m moving up to my maintenance of 1900 calories and trying to maintain. I do hour-long strength workouts about 4-5 days a week.

Before I started trying to lose weight, my weight would move up and down from 140-145 over a four year period, and I know that’s normal for it to fluctuate, but I went in and out of struggles with overeating and I think I did look a little different when I was 140 rather than 145, but no huge changes. A bit of a shot in the dark, but I’m going to guess I would eat an average of 3,000 calories every day. Maybe I’m being dramatic, so I’ll say somewhere between 2,500 and 3,000. I never really counted, I just know I ate a lot. I still did strength workouts then, but what I’m doing now is a lot more intense.

I lost the weight pretty steadily over a little more than two months. When I started, I was losing easily at 1700 calories. I found out at the beginning of my journey that I was mildly allergic to wheat, dairy, and some other smaller things, so that forced me to cut a lot of foods out and find some substitutes. As a result, I began eating healthier, but my weight loss was intentional. As well as eating differently, I cut back on calories and tracked what I ate.

Now I think I’m ready to be done losing weight. I will keep living my healthier life style. Now I want to do 1900 calories a day, and hopefully someday I won’t have to log it so often and it just becomes habit, but for now it helps me stay on track. I know it’s ridiculous, but I’m afraid that I’ll end up gaining all the weight back. At 1900 I know I shouldn’t, but I guess I mostly fear that I’ll stop logging my food and then I’ll just start overeating again. Does anyone have advice to help alleviate this fear? Thanks! I probably didn’t need to share my whole story but I didn’t want to leave anything important out

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Extended family makes unsupportive comments

Like many others, I hit my heaviest weight during COVID. According to BMI charts I was considered over weight. I was effectively skinny fat as I'm naturally a thin person but I was carrying a gut. I made a decision to stop eating like a 12 year old and to take cardio seriously. Over the last 16 months or so I have lost 35 lbs and online BMI calculators estimate my BMI to be at 22.2 which seems rather reasonable. During that time I lost weight, gained some of it back, lost more, and today am at a weight that I am happy with. Perhaps more importantly, last month I had blood work done and my Doctor stated that all of my numbers are "phenomenal" and to keep doing what I'm doing. Furthermore, I do participate in sports and I have found that my cardio is much better and, in general, I move 10x better than I did before losing weight.

Now for the vent... my extended family tends to make comments like, "you look sickly" or "you are too thin". On one hand, they should notice my weight loss.... it's taken a lot of commitment to routinely put in the effort to lose weight and control my caloric intake. None of my friends or family joined me in this weight loss journey... I dedicated myself to this and have seen it through to a goal weight and fitness level. On the other hand, I'm incredibly frustrated that people are encouraging me to gain weight because they think I look sickly or appear thinner than they care for. I get it... most mid-westerners in their mid 30s are overweight and are not expected to look fit. However, I have not given up on my body yet and I want to appear in shape. It seems like others expect me to have a permanent dad bod.

This post isn't very actionable hence the vent/rant tag. I trust I'm not alone and would appreciate commentary from others that have experienced the same.

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Should weight loss be on hold until recovered from an injury?

Female

29lbs

Starting weight: 300

Current weight: 212

Goal weight: 200

I injured my knee while exercising and am waiting to hear back how bad the damage is. This past week I've been so hungry sometimes eating 1800 calories a day. Typically I distract myself to not feel hunger but with nothing to do I feel my hunger as it happens. I've been trying to keep to 1200 a day and had been for a while. Idk, I keep having excuses like I need food to heal but I don't want to gain

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NSV | Disney Vacation Edition

Hi there! Long time lurker.

I’ve lost about 35 pounds since the beginning of the year; I shed all of the weight I gained during COVID and am finally down to where I was when I graduated college five years ago.

The biggest changes I made were:

1) Keeping track of what I consume, even if I eat at maintenance or go over my calorie budget. On days I go over, staying honest helps me get back on track instead of pretending I didn’t and continuing to spiral.

2) Going on “after work” walks. I work crazy hours (60+ a week sometimes) and it’s easy to say I’m too busy to work out. At 5ish every weekday, I make myself get up and walk for 45-60 minutes. It breaks up the day if I need to get back online in the evening and keeps me from feeling lethargic throughout the week.

3) Getting a peloton. I did the gym membership thing and hated it. It was so hard to motivate myself to change, leave the house, and work out with a bunch of strangers on machines I didn’t really care for. The peloton was a game-changer. I can ride in the comfort of my own home, at any time, with instructors that motivate me.

Because the weight loss has been so gradual, I’m having a hard time seeing it in the mirror, in pics, etc. It was getting really frustrating.

However! This weekend, I went to Disney with the family and noticed some major changes in the way I felt. On previous trips, I’d get nasty blisters and have sore joints after day one or two. During this trip, I didn’t get a single blister and walked 20-30k steps a day comfortably. I even took several full-body pics that I feel happy posting on socials!

That was the boost I needed to stay motivated - and serves as a reminder that progress is something you see AND feel.

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