My wife and I have been on a weight loss journey for some time, we're quite young (25 and 27) but we started gaining weight after getting married. We agreed to lose weight 6 months ago, in that time I've lost 90 pounds, she has lost only seven. I'm now 195 at 6ft, she is 202 at 5'5. I understand I had more weight to lose but I now weigh more than her and it feels like she could have put in way more effort. She starts the diets then gives up later. I've overhauled my entire life.
My attraction to her is fading the more weight I lose and I feel terrible, but I can't help it. I have developed a revulsion for fat and overeating, mostly directed at myself but sometimes I project it it on her. I get irritated when I see her eat junk food. I even helped her made a diet plan and meal prepped for her (this apparently felt patronising). She hates me commenting on her food choices and has gotten very upset sometimes. She told me she now feels like she hates her body more, I was sad about that but at the same time she could use it as motivation like I did?
I know she wants to lose weight, but I don't know how to help her and clearly I'm not doing it right. I can't see the marriage lasting anymore if she doesn't lose weight. I know that's harsh, but our lifestyles are so different. I do love her though.
On top of this, she is critical of my dieting and thinks that I'm too strict and miserable, but I like my strict schedule and I feel like it has changed me for the better. I have so much more discipline now, and I feel like I can reach any weight I want. She rolls her eyes when she sees me weigh food and log things in MFP. I apparently give her "dirty looks" when she eats. The only time we have fun together now is when we go out and do activities. I try and get her to do more with me but she doesn't want to. She likes to relax and watch netflix but I feel guilty doing that now, I don't like missing workouts for any reason really. We used to go out to eat together but we no longer enjoy it, she feels judged and I get stressed trying to count the calories and find something healthy.
She thinks I only see her for her body but really that is not true, when I married her she was overweight, I love her for who she is, I just wish she would put the effort in like she promised.
How can I help her? Am I being too mean?
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