Ok, so I wrote up a long history of how I got here, but that became wayyy too long. Re-writing to get to the moral of the story and if y'all want a longer background, I'd be happy to share it. Quick disclaimer, I'm phrasing this in a way that I wish it was told to me. This may not work for you - and that's ok, we're all different and we each have different things that work for us.
It's all about developing/changing habits for the long term. Your current habits are what got you to where you are now, and you're going to have to change them to get to where you want to be. Pick a single habit you want to change and focus only on overcoming that for the next month. Keep it simple. It may be eating too many chips at home. For the first month, just focus on not eating chips. That's it. If you want to snack, buy some apples/bananas and munch on those. Don't count calories - just stop eating chips. Do that until it no longer becomes a chore and chips are no longer on your mind. Then focus on the next habit. If it's eating out too much, focus on eating more meals at home. If it's eating too many sweets, then buy some frozen fruit and start making smoothies. A packet of splenda takes them to dessert/milkshake level. Don't count calories. My guess is you have a good idea of which foods you're eating are unhealthy. Just focus one at a time on replacing those with something found on the perimeter of the supermarket. (fresh fruit/veggies, fresh chicken, etc). Replace the processed foods with fresh foods like rice, sweet potatoes, veggies, etc. (Frozen versions of the same foods are ok).
Exercise. My bike+trainer sat with dust on it for months. After a few months focusing only on recalibrating my diet, I decided to start incorporating cardio into my daily life. For my first week, I just hopped on my bike for 20 minutes at minimal effort. Even if it was just to go for one mile, it was more important to get into the habit of getting on my bike and making that a routine. Then I slowly started ramping up my rides. I also threw my laptop up near me and watched Netflix as I spun. After 2 months of that, I started going outside.
Very recently I decided to start adding weight lifting to my weekly routine. I downloaded the "Workout" app and paid the $50. My first two weeks have basically been just focusing on showing up. I'm lifting 20 pounds. I'm using elastic bands for pullups. I purposefully making it physically easy so I can get over the mental barrier of working out in the first place. I know if it becomes too challenging, I'm going to quit.
Not only am I down XX pounds over YY months, I feel like this is a sustainable path. I've tried so many times to do this, but I previously tried changing too much at one time and I got frustrated and I quit. I actually look forward to eating the foods I eat now and going to the gym. I've previously tried crossfit classes, but they pushed me harder than I want to go, and I just hated going to the classes. But doing the same workouts at my pace is great. Regarding counting calories, counting every damn calorie is just not sustainable - you'll go crazy, but it's good to have a ball park of what you're eating. Eat the steak if you want it, but realize that it's about 2x the calories of a similarly sized piece of chicken. I don't want to share my weight loss numbers because I don't want you to think you're failing because you're not losing it as fast as I might be. What's more important is that your trajectory is sloping downward and it doesn't feel like you're struggling to maintain a "diet." Just try to be better than you were yesterday - in general - and not to anyone else.
Weigh yourself every day. Or don't. It doesn't matter. Your weight fluctuates by like 5lbs throughout the day, so don't get frustrated if it's not consistently going down. Take the running average over two weeks. If the scale isn't moving quickly, that's ok. I gained 20lbs over covid - that was over two years. Expecting that to just fall off over two months is asking a lot. Again, it's all about the trajectory.
Good luck!
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