Slowly Slipping Back Into Bad Habits…

Alright. Here I am.

I’m about—almost—three months into my weight loss journey. Had a sort of revelation, I don’t think it’s really gone away, but I was very dedicated and committed to my weight loss and fitness goals.

Maybe because it’s becoming chronic, and isn’t very visible/tangible yet, I’m starting to forget the mission? Im not sure.

The past few weeks I have been going over my calories. I’d say almost over 1,000 each week. Last week was more. The first time I did it, I was just like, “I’ll make it up.” I even got to a point where I had a large amount of cals one day. Maybe over by 1,000, and tried to withhold 500 calories the next two days. Obviously it wasn’t sustainable.

The few things I can think of that set this off:

1. I lost 18lbs in about two months. Woo hoo. Great job. Do I feel like I’m done? I have about 150lbs more to lose.

1a. on that note. Once I hit 299, my daily calories went down to 1,400 so I changed my weight loss calories from 2 per week to 1 1/2 without counting calories burned from exercise. So I got to have 1,700 calories and it somehow felt like too much freedom. I didn’t like going up. Having more. I have a long history of starvation eating disorders and, as SMO as I am now, I still slip easily back into the restricting mindset. Liking it. Etc.

1. Work sent us webcams and said we’d have to start using them soon. I was really unhappy about it. I work from home and I look terrible over webcam. Can’t hide my size and I felt like soon I’d be exposed and people wouldn’t like me at work anymore. I felt ashamed to be me. I can imagine it’s made me want to seek comfort—in food. Vicious cycle.

2. My energy was super super low the past few weeks. Found out I’m very anemic and am currently on super high dose iron, so hopefully I’ll feel better in about two weeks. But maybe I was seeking comfort from not feeling well? Idk I have been feeling pretty irritable lately. I’m supposed to get my period very soon and was keeping track, but that always makes it not come.

I know I’m still at the beginning of my journey. My goal is to be 145lbs or very close by my 35th bday in about a year and seven months. From 317. I’ve lost my first 20. I know this journey isn’t perfect and a straight line, but any tips on how to get ahold of myself before this becomes a serious issue?

submitted by /u/EBeewtf
[link] [comments]

from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/XVqfGlx