How much do you blame your parents?

This post is intended for people who grew up fat. I don’t want any “tough love”comments please, I am not looking for advice, I only really want to hear other people’s experience.

I’ve recently lost 70 lbs (exactly 70 today! 🥳) but I still have a long way to go in terms of getting healthy. I have been fat since I can remember, every pediatrician appointment I ever had ended with them explaining that I had to lose weight. My parents did try a few things (signing me up for sports, some healthy eating workshop, putting me in therapy) but at the end of the day they raised me with horrible eating habits and let me get to a size as a minor that did permanent damage to my body.

My mom is slightly overweight and yoyo dieted my whole life but does make some effort to eat healthy and exercise. My dad is morbidly obese with a horrible food addiction. Growing up I was fed not exactly junk food, but pretty unhealthy food ie spaghetti. My mom often complains about how we would never eat anything healthy she would make and I understand that would be hard to deal with, but I also think I was a child and it was her responsibility to put her foot down.

I am living at home currently and being on a weight loss journey in this household is incredibly frustrating. My parents order takeout constantly and buy lots of unhealthy food from the grocery store. I really have to fight to not overeat here even as an adult and it makes me feel like I really never stood a chance. I almost feel like a crack baby. I was given this addiction without any real choice in it.

Looking back on what becoming morbidly obese did to me it really is quite horrific. I have permanent loose skin. I have extra fat cells that will never go away just dying to grow bigger. I have a permanently lower TDEE than someone of the same stats who has never been overweight due to the effects of major weight loss. I am going to have a much harder time maintaining a healthy weight than someone who was raised properly. Not to mention the incredible psychological toll growing up fat did to me. All of this for the rest of my life.

On one hand I am so angry with my parents for this. They really fucked me up good. I sometimes see people calling letting a child get fat child abuse. My parents are decently wealthy, well educated, and had resources to raise me better. On the other hand I see that they were struggling with their own eating disorders and I am not sure what exactly they should’ve done.

So fat kids, how much do you resent your parents?

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Best way to lose weight at my age and height?

20F here. I’m 5’3 and weigh about 170 to 180 pounds. My goal weight is 120 to 130 pounds. Ambitious, I know, but I would celebrate any weight loss at all, and I’m so tired of being overweight that I think I could muster up enough self control to stick to a diet and exercise plan.

I don’t want to lose weight for aesthetic reasons. I don’t dislike my body but I know that it’s unhealthy. On top of that, my family has a long history of health problems, including diabetes and heart disease, and I know now is the best time to get in shape to help prevent these conditions. Also, not exercising or eating correctly is definitely contributing to the bad mental space I’ve been in.

I took some time off from college (I plan on returning in January) due to being diagnosed with two serious mental health disorders. I felt lost, hopeless, and I quickly slipped into depression. Right now, I’m getting little to no exercise, and while I don’t consume many calories, I don’t eat many foods that are good for me.

What are the best things I can do to lose weight? A calorie deficit would be easy for me because I can be pretty self disciplined in that area if I try. I also genuinely enjoy healthier foods. The exercise is where I struggle. I’ve done a lot of research, and every source says something different, and it’s hard to tell what actually works, and beyond that, what works best.

So, I come here searching for real people who may have been in similar situations, or can otherwise give me useful advice. Anything would be appreciated, honestly.

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Looking for some peace and self-control around food

Hello everyone!

A bit of context: I (5’6 25F) have lost 30 pounds since my highest weight (180lbs to 150), but on many years. My fastest, and last weight loss, was now two years ago where I lost 10 pounds in 4 months. Not so fast, but still a gain.

I am very active; no problem with that. I love to move when I get the chance. I also only drink water, dark coffee and tea; I don’t drink my calories.

My big challenge, let’s face it, is food.

I know it since a while now, but I keep circling and circling around; I’m still stuck and been yo-yoing for two years.

I love food, and I tend to emotional eat. I also can’t resist temptation. I try, But at some point I lose self control. It’s as if I can’t think clearly around the food I love. I also have trouble listening to my satiety signals, because I love to eat and tend to overeat. I try to eat slower, but it doesn’t always work.

I am also very much pressured by people. If someone just did their « super special cookies, don’t you want some?? », then I have trouble saying no not to deceive the person. I know, I deceive myself by doing so, but I also please myself with the good stuff. Also I can’t eat a reasonable amount once it’s there, I just want some more and more.

Then, I look in the mirror, and feel awful because I wish I could reach that goal of mine; I feel like I betray myself every time. I think I’m 20 pounds away, but really being fat from childhood, I don’t know.

I read a lot about different techniques and tried many ways to monitor food, but it led me more into binging than anything else. I read a lot about binge eating and tried to delay and all, but near the food I can’t bring what I learned into play.

In short, I would really appreciate some tips to gain self control and peace around food :)

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health benefits of weight loss are real

For starters I’m 18F 5’4 188lbs

Of course every overweight person has been told that their size is affecting their health. I believed it in part because I was out of shape as if being able to run a mile was even the half of it. I was around 205lbs and in the hospital for some leg pains and the doctor told me I was fine but said I had high blood pressure for my age. It was 130/80, I can successfully say even with my 17lb weight loss I have managed to drop my bp to 105/65. That could be considered low but for me I’m really stoked about seeing real results that are beyond the scale but show improvements in my health! Just wanted to throw this out here in case anyone else needed other forms of motivation :)

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I lost 80lbs at 13 years old.

(Kinda a warning / vent, can adjust flair. May delete soon.)

All my life, I have been in an overweight or obese BMI. When I was 12 years old, I weighed 230lbs at 5'6. Honestly, it wasn't the worst thing ever because I was okay with my body, and all I wanted was to be healthier. I slowly lost 30lbs by walking more. I discovered CICO and, unfortunately, became very restrictive. I ate less than 1250 calories daily for 6 months. My hair became thin, my nails grew slowly, (my period skipped months), and my average body temperature went from 36.6 to 35.5 (celcius), which is almost hypothermic.

Since I started high school, I have been depressed and anxious. My anxiety wasn't too bad, but my depression was. When I lost the weight, it reversed; I was extremely anxious, but my depression lessened. I cared too much about what people thought about my body when I logically knew no one would say anything bad. I was 150lbs and finally in a healthy BMI, but I felt more insecure than ever.

During the holidays, I was scared of overeating, so I ate almost nothing instead. That act sparked an irrational hunger that led me to gain back 50lbs in one year. I've been maintaining approximately 200lbs for a while now, and albeit being a bit disappointed that I haven't lost weight, I'm proud I haven't gained any. I'm currently working on exercising more and eating healthier.

The point of this post was to bring awareness to how being restrictive and trying to lose weight as fast as possible can be dangerous, and possibly lead to regaining weight. I see a lot of posts on weight loss subreddits of young teens trying to eat very few calories. They may already be in the low end of a healthy BMI, or tall with a high TDEE, therefore, severely uneating. I'm always worried. I recently came across a grown man on youtube who is trying to lose 20 somewhat pounds by eating less than 1000 calories and giving advice to commenters on how to do it, and it infuriated me.

I've learned from experience that eating restrictively, especially when you're in a period of growth, is very dangerous and not sustainable. No matter how old you are, or where you are in your journey, it is important to make decisions that you will be proud of. We deserve to build habits that will allow us to maintain our weight long-term, and make sure we aren't wallowing in depression forever.

Please stay safe and healthy. You deserve to eat even if you messed up yesterday, and you deserve to be happy. You can do this! Good luck everyone, and thank you for reading this if you've stuck this far.

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weight loss tips

since September 2019 i’ve lost 2 stone and after that i lowered my calorie intake down by a lot to 700/800 calories a day and when i seem to eat up to 1300/1600 a day i manage to gain weight and bloat like hell. I thought if i maintained a normal amount of food i would stay at the same weight but it seems to keep going up unless i stay on my 700 calories a day. Any tips on how to improve or what to help mend my body?

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Back in a healthy bmi, with unhealthy ‘sugar’

So, I went to the doctor a week or so ago, and I was so proud of myself for finally getting back into a healthy bmi range! I’m 5’ 3” and struggled so hard to get from 155lbs down to 140lb. I know it’s not a lot, and I’m only barely in the healthy range now, but it took so long and was so emotionally difficult, I was extremely proud of it. Then the doctor did some blood work and called to tell me my ‘sugar is up’ and I need to watch my cholesterol and go on a diet. I’m so frustrated and honestly pretty heart broken. Being able to eat smaller amounts of food I like, not cut out food groups was got me through the weight loss. So yeah, I guess part of this is a vent.

I have to cut out/down carbs and sugar now, and I need some advice. I already use Splenda instead of sugar, and only drink diet soda. My big concern is my husband is a carb fanatic, and it’s going to be so hard watching him eat pasta while I’m stuck with zoodles. Lol. Has anyone else gone through something like this? What are your best carb substitutes? Any advice on resisting the carbs I cook for my husband, or recommendations of low carb alternatives we may both like? I love baking, can I just use Splenda instead of sugar and make like crust less pies? Is there any way to enjoy desserts without carbs? Do I have to go keto? I love fruits & veggies and don’t want to lose them… Am I just overthinking this all? Help!!!

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