Hi r/loseit,
Throwaway since my SO is also on reddit.
So I was reading this thread on reddit, and there's alot of good stuff from doctors regarding things they wish we knew of our bodies more. Anyways, there were many posts regarding obesity and exercise. Now I am all for body positivity and loving one's self. BUT since this is my SO we're talking about, I'm starting to look more at the health side of it as well.
My SO is 5ft 8in and 215 pounds. I love this man. We've been together 7+ years and I definitely don't mind how he looks now; however, I'm starting to get concerned for his health due to his weight and his poor eating habits. According to the internet he's within obese territory and the link above got me to thinking about the repercussions of his weight moving forward in our lives. I want the best for him, and that includes a healthy life. For reference I'm 5ft 2in and 130 pounds. I've gotten into weightlifting the last 3 years and I'm absolutely loving it. It's made me change how I look, how I eat, all that jazz. You know the deal. I'm not saying I'm a professional when it comes to diet and exercise but I can comfortably say I know my way around food and exercise. I like to go through what body builders call "cutting" and "bulking" phases where the former basically involves losing fat, while the latter involves gaining weight/muscle. This has taught me to control my weight and has shown me first hand just how directly caloric intake really does affect your body. If I want to lose weight, I simply know to eat less and I can easily adjust my diet accordingly. Same thing for gaining weight too. I'm happy to know how much control I truly have over my body.
Now my SO definitely wants to lose weight. He buys clothes a bit smaller than usual sometimes as a motivator to lose weight. So the mentality to lose weight is there, but I just feel he needs that extra push to get him started. Here's the thing: every time I try to talk to him about his weight, he groans and says to talk about it another day. I respect that. I try not to be controlling with his food, but ultimately that's the biggest issue with weight gain/loss: caloric intake. So I always tell him to be mindful of his food intake. I always remind him that all he has to do to lose weight is to eat less. He doesn't need to even exercise. I always try to recommend to him to maybe half his rice portion at the very least or his main carb option of the night. But his reasoning for not doing so is that he shouldn't have to "starve" himself to lose weight. So I think he's missing the point. I don't know how to get around that. Because really, eating less is all it would take. I'm not saying it's easy, but that's the best I can really do/say to him without being forceful about it.
I don't want to force him to exercise since he's a nurse who works three 12 hour shifts a week and he seems to be on his feet during the time so I'm not too worried in terms of exercise for now. Though I think everyone should have some kind of physical activity per week. I want to introduce weight loss to him slowly. Also we can't quite go to the gym together since he's a nurse and I have a typical five days a week 9 to 5 job so our schedules differ greatly.
He'll have his bursts where he'll go to the gym a few times a week, BUT due to the sudden increase of physical activity, he gets hungrier and eats more food than usual resulting in no weight loss. This will generally discourage, him. This will usually only last for a month. And due to the discouragement, he'll just fall out of it.
I love this man. We are approaching our 30's (I'm 27 he's 28) and I know we're still kinda young lol, and it's easy to take our bodies for granted, but I want the best for him. And I want to help him. But I really don't know where to start. I started my fitness journey a few years ago(was severely underweight) and it truly is a lifestyle adjustment that does not happen over night.
I'm feeling bad because I focused so much on myself and created this healthy mindset for myself, and would tell myself "it's his life, not mine, he can do whatever he wants with it" and now I feel awful. I want to help my SO lose weight and was wondering how to even approach this properly.
He's loved my progress and is happy to see me achieving my goals. I want him to achieve his goals too. I'm hoping that my fitness journey will eventually spark something inside of him, but for now I just need to help him get started and get on track. Any words of advice are greatly appreciated!
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