Monday, July 8, 2019

[NSV] Ran Almost Five Miles Yesterday!

I've been on this weight loss journey for almost two years now, and at the start I spent a lot of time on the treadmill at the gym. I would do a run/walk for about 30 minutes, which usually ended up being around 23 minutes of 4.2 MPH and 7 minutes of 6.3 MPH. I gave it up because I felt like I wasn't making real progress and my feet would get very sore. I eventually turned to lifting because I saw more progress and it was less high impact.

Well, friends, eighty pounds later and I started running again a couple of weeks ago. The strangest thing was that even though I hadn't ran seriously in more than a year, I was already better the first time I got on the treadmill. Not having to carry around all that extra weight made the whole thing easier. I did about 15 minutes of running (6.5 MPH) and 15 minutes of walking (4.2 MPH). I've been running about every other day since, and I keep getting better. Around a week ago, I managed to run the whole 30 minutes and ran 3.14 miles.

Yesterday, I decided to set the time for longer because I had been reading on /r/running that increased distance is the best way to train. I ran 6.5 MPH for a FULL 45 MINUTES! I am so shocked that I was able to pull it off. When I hit the 45 minute mark it ended up being 4.87 miles.

Anyway, my legs are pretty sore today, but I am still so shocked I managed to accomplish what I did. Real change is possible! I even registered for a 5K in August, which I'm really looking forward to (which is something that would shock my former self).

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Didn't recognize myself!

A friend handed me his phone today to browse thru his vacation photos. I wanted to send a few of them to me, so i clicked 'share' and his contact list came up on the screen. Since i had texted him just before I met up with him, my contact photo came up first in his list of recent contacts, though I wasn't aware at first those contacts were sorted by most recent. So for a few moments I was looking at the photo, wondering who that person was, I didn't immediately recognize them. (Icon was small). So i looked at the name next to the contact photo, and it had my name. For another few moments I wondered who this person was who had the same name as me. And then I realized the man in the photo was me! He had snapped the photo of me a few years ago (and over 100 lbs weight loss since then) and i started laughing realizing that i didn't even recognize my former self at first.

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Women of Loseit: Shrining Boobs and Mammogram PSA

I recently had an abnormal mammogram and had to have additional diagnostic imaging. Having lost a lot of weight, my boobs are a mere shadow of their former selves. It never crossed my mind to mention this to the tech before the screening mammogram or the diagnostic imaging. The radiologist was confused when comparing my former imaging with the current imaging and asked me if I had a breast reduction. I told her it was due to weight loss.

She said weight loss can profoundly impact breast density and the ability to read the mammogram. She showed me a side-by-side comparison of the images and in the the new image of the now-smaller breast had a lot more structural detail in it. The old mammogram, from when I was overweight, was more solid in appearance.

So, for those of you whose boobs are shrinking, make sure you tell the tech before your mammogram! It will help avoid a lot of confusion on the part of the clinicians.

Edit for Title Typo: I have not had enough coffee yet and apparently can't spell Shrinking. No one has ever made a shrine to my boobs.

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For those that lost a lot of weight, when did your sense of body image actually change?

So I'm 34 years old, 5'11" and currently hovering at 205 pounds, down from about mid 230s at the beginning of the year. I was near this current weight a year ago which was down from near or above 240 from the year before.

Last time I lost that weight, I didn't feel like much had changed. Other people had commented but I my sense of my own body image hadn't changed. Even when looking at comparison pics that I take time to time, it was hard for me to notice much of a difference. When I finally started noticing weight changes was when I gained it back (was unemployed for much of last year and let myself go). It just felt less comfortable being in my own body. I just felt grosser (like eating food made me feel more bloated). Clothes felt tighter.

Since then, I've lost most of that weight again and I have noticed it a bit more in terms of how clothes fit better, but my sense of body image hasn't changed much. I get that me seeing my body every day makes it hard for me to see changes but I feel like there has to be some point in people's weight loss journeys where it's obvious to them. Eventually your belly fat is gone and it's impossible to not know that it was much much bigger years ago. When I started this journey I had no idea what my goal weight would be so I basically set the initial goal to 200 thinking that when I got there I'd have a better sense of how much more I needed to lose based on a vague idea of where my progress was in terms of looking and feeling healthy. I see a trainer twice a week and I can see the numbers going down. I can feel how I'm able to do things in the gym that I used to struggle with or not even be able to do. I know all that but that doesn't change my sense of body image. My belly still feels big because it hasn't changed all that much. Probably because being 40 pounds over weight vs ideal weight is a bigger difference in how it shows up on your body than the difference between being 40 pounds and 90 pounds overweight.

So my question is for those that lost a lot of weight, when did it really click in your mind that you look and feel like you look different from before? Is it just going to get more and more noticeable from now on? Will losing the next 10 pounds feel more significant than losing the last 20?

I'm still trying to figure out what my next goal should be. I'm not considering it too heavily since I need to focus on getting under 200 which I feel like I haven't been since mid high school (like 18 years ago). But I'm getting close and I have to start thinking about it. A long time ago I made a random guess that maybe 180 would be ideal weight but now I'm not so sure. BMI charts (which I know aren't always accurate) seem to think for my height, 175 is threshold between normal and overweight and the bottom end of normal is closer to 145, which seems absurd to me. I cannot imagine getting much lighter than 170. 145 just sounds unhealthy. But like I said, I don't really know. Maybe if I get to 175 I'll still have a decent amount of belly fat and realize that I still have a lot more to lose. All I know is I always assumed that if I got to 200 that I'd be over half way to my ideal body shape but as I approach 200, I don't even feel like I'm 1/4th of the way there as far as body shape goes. So now I'm wondering if I'm really that far away from it or if further losses make more noticeable changes to your body shape as you get lighter.

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Some words of wisdom to all of you struggling

I initially wrote this as a response to finding ones-elves in their career professional life, but I realized it was totally relevant to my weight loss journey too:

When I was a young adult in my 20s I tried to achieve success in things that I thought society expected of me. I failed because they were not things I wanted to be successful at, I was doing so out of a misplaced “duty” during the time. In my 30s I stopped caring about what passing strangers and society expects of me and I aimed for succeeding in the things I care about, in doing so has lead me on the road to many wins. I approach 35 in the next month and I find myself in a place of where the sky is the limit, it’s what I decide to spend my time on that counts. I’ve never been more motivated in my life.

My biggest fear in my youthful days was failure. I’ve learned that failure is the greatest of all teachers and when it happens to endure and walk away not with shame but of enlightenment.

Regarding how this is relevant to weight loss. When I was trying to lose weight in my younger days I wasn’t doing it for me. I was doing it to appease adults in my life and become some type of body image that society expects of me. I failed because I didn’t want it. Although I was trying I didn’t want it because I choose to keep binge eating and saying screw it I’m done with this “dieting” stuff. I would pretend I was trying to lose weight to appease others when I wasn’t ready to do so myself. Now that I approach mid 30s and I am a year and a half into my not diet but lifestyle change, I have found a success at 80lbs dropped, now I need 120lbs more to go. What changed this time? I want this for me, for my future, and present. I want to be healthier, move around better, and play life on easy mode for a change.

If you are starting your journey, remember that it’s your journey! Do this for you and only if you truly want it.

I hope this helps thanks for reading!

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When to be concerned about weight loss.

I have lost 56 pounds since November.

I have not actively tried to lose weight But:

I moved to a new city and took a new job and have been suffering a lot of stress.

I eat about 2/3rds the calories in a given day that I did before the move.

I walk or am active about 3 hours a week compared to 0 hours a week in previous city.

I completely stopped eating fast food (maybe 5 times in the last 8 months)

We only cook our own meals for the most part.

BUT I am not actively thinking about any of this, I did not make a plan to lose the weight (even though I should have).

I was 335lbs before the move, now I am 279 after about 8 months.

I tend to be a hypochondriac, I have no other worrying type of symptoms. What I need to know is with the changes I mentioned above, and over the 8 month time frame, is this a reasonable amount of weight to expect to lose? To me it seems like a lot, and someone mentioned it could be a symptom of some type of cancer.

Yes I am going to see a Doctor soon, but I always tend to overthink and worry.

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I wasn't able to make sustainable daily changes until I respected and valued myself at whatever weight I was at

I know that many people are motivated to lose weight because they hate what they see in the mirror or are unhappy with the person they've become. It seems like it works really well for many who've had incredibly successful weight loss journeys.

For me personally, those motivators were only ever good for short bursts of determination. I'd lose 5-15 pounds and then quickly gain it back, often more. This was because I still disliked myself and lifestyle changes aren't a quick fix with obvious results you can see in short time spans.

I gradually started saying fuck off to the voice in my head that told me I was unwanted, worthless, and ugly. I started doing the things that I had let my weight hold me back from. I went on dates, made an effort to widen my circle of friends, went to new places and tried new activities. I've always avoided all these ventures that made me interact with others, but slowly introduced them back into my life.

After I stopped using my weight as an excuse to hide from life and wallow in feelings of shame, I realized that I respect myself and like myself too much to let my unhealthy habits dictate how I feel. I got excited about life again and that made me want to experience it to the fullest (cheesiness aside) which meant becoming as fit as I can be. Being more excited and positive in general helped displace some of my emotional binging triggers. Making healthy decisions became a little more effortless with a change of mindset. I am truly doing this for myself this time, not for the people whose judgement I was always so afraid of.

That said I still have my good days and bad days. I recently posted about body dysmorphia and how discouraging that can feel but I know that the decisions I make daily are good ones and I am choosing to trust the process.

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