Wednesday, July 10, 2019

I'm going to stick with it for once in my life -

I'm going to stick with it for once in my life - I am 20 years old, 21 later this year, and I currently weigh 173.8 lbs.

Long story short, I've never been comfortable with my weight and, being honest with myself, have been in plain denial about the my weight for most of my life. Not, "Oh, it's not that bad" or "It still zips even though it's obviously two sizes too small" (think trying to squeeze into a size 6 when I am a snug size 10), but "Oh, this is just temporary! I'm only 10/20/30/40 lbs heavier than I'd like to be! I still fit into the size six, I just need to drink some water and eat healthy for a week and I will most defintely drop down two dress sizes in time for X's wedding! This isn't my real weight, this is just because I had a lot of salt yesterday/ didn't drink enough water / it's that time of month" - the excuses have been plentiful. It was just plain denial of the hard work I needed to put in if I wanted to look good. A lot of my hangups on my weight affect other parts of my life e.g. not wanting to start a new book because, well, if I'm going to sit here and eat an entire bag of family size doritos, what's the point of doing any sort of self-care or being even remotely productive today? I know that I need to stop thinking this way, so I know I need to start today - no waiting until the perfect moment, the next Monday, the next new moon, whatever it is. I need to start now before it's the start of the next school year and I'm worse off than when I started.

I start my fourth and final year of university in late September. My first year my weight was about 155lbs - jeez, I hadn't even realized that until just now. There's been some ups and downs since then but I don't think I've ever once gotten below 154lbs in the past three years. My goal is to get at least to 155 lbs, ideally between 150-155lbs before the start of the quarter on September 26th. That puts my weight loss somewhere between 1.7-2lbs / week for the next 11 weeks. My ultimate goal is to reach between 130-135lbs by the end of this year - I'm not letting the rest of the year go by without making an effort to become the best version of myself possible!

Cheers! and good luck to everyone!

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I’m (still) always hungry

Just for some stats: 19 F/5’6/SW:~200lbs/CW:140lbs/GW:???

So I’ve steadily lost around 60 pounds this past year exclusively through CICO. Even at my heaviest, I was still pretty active (I swam competitively for 7 years and would go on walks daily) so my exercise routine hasn’t really changed from last year.

My eating habits on the other hand have done a complete 180. My weight loss and new eating habits started kinda accidentally when I started college. You can’t emotionally eat all of the time when you don’t have a pantry in your tiny dorm. Once I saw some slight results, I decided to start logging my food in myfitnesspal. Initially, I had it set so I was eating 1200 calories a day. My university provided all of the dining hall nutrition facts online so it was pretty easy to track. For the most part, I really stuck with staying within my calorie goal. The only problem was that I was hungry all of the time. At first I figured that was because I was significantly reducing my intake and that I would start to adjust to eating less over time.

But as the year progressed and I lost more and more weight, I was still just as hungry as I was in the beginning. When summer started, I decided to up my calories to 1330 a day which put me on track to lose about a pound per week. I thought that maybe those extra calories would help fill me up a little more but I’m still always hungry.

I’m really at a loss here and I’m not sure what else to do other than eat more food. I’m still in the process of losing weight and I really don’t want to slow down my progress. Any suggestions are appreciated :)

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27 F with 105 lbs to lose. I've got this.

I've been lurking Reddit for years, but I'm finally ready to post something, because I think this community might help me to be accountable to myself.

I [27, F] weigh 250 lbs. I'm only 5'1.

I have spent almost all of my life struggling with my weight. I've always been pretty chubby, but I've had some success with weight loss in the past. The summer before my senior year of high school, I hit 171 lbs and had a meltdown because that was the exact weight class that my boyfriend (now husband) wrestled. I lost about 40 lbs over the next 9 months, and weighed 130 by senior prom. I did this largely through extreme restriction of my diet, which was possible because of my unique schedule (I took classes at a local college for the second half of my school day, so if I ate lunch, it was alone, and then I headed straight to the campus rec center).

By the time I was about 21, I weighed about 165 again. Because of his job, I didn't get to see my husband for 7 months. I lost about 30 lbs in that time. I did this mostly by going to the gym for several hours a day and being extremely unmotivated to cook real food for only myself, so I ate a lot of cereal and Lean Cuisines.

Neither of these were sustainable forms of weight loss because they relied on my own isolation and were fueled through my self-loathing.

But here I am, years later, longing to be ONLY as fat as I was before.

I know there has to be a way to operate my weight loss from a place of self-love instead of self-hatred. I want to LOVE life. I have a great group of friends and I want to unabashedly cherish my time with them. I want to eat good food among friends and smile wide and run around with their children without worrying about how I look or whether I'm in view of a camera. I want to travel and explore the world without worrying that I won't fit in a plane seat or wondering if Santorini is such a great idea because there are so many stairs. I want to be healthy so that I can be around for a long time to enjoy the life I've worked so hard to build.

I know absolutely everything that I need to do in order to lose weight. I literally own all of the gym equipment that I need. My husband is immensely supportive of me and my desire to get healthy. We have enough money to purchase healthy foods and the skills to prepare them. I've been in therapy for two years and have access to any professional help I might need to overcome any emotional aspects of my weight.

So this is me stopping whatever bullshit excuses I've been feeding myself for why I "can't do it." It's not my shitty metabolism or my hormones or my childhood trauma or my busy schedule or my grief. It's only ever been me. And I've got this.

I weigh 250 lbs. My goal weight is 145. That's 105 lbs to lose. I'm dividing that up into smaller goals of 20 so that I don't feel so overwhelmed, and then I'll just have 5 left over at the end.

I'll see you all at 130.

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I met my weight loss goal for 2019!

As I have a long way to go on my weight loss journey, I have found it extremely helpful to break it up into smaller, more realistic chunks. At the beginning of 2019, I made a list of all of my ‘resolutions’ for this year, one of which included losing 30 more pounds. When I set this goal, a large part of me was concerned that I was being too ambitious, and that I had my eye on something that wasn’t realistic, leading me to a guaranteed failure. Since setting that goal, I have been consistently keeping track of each calorie lost, and have really found it motivating to see it all add up, instead of just looking at each pound individually. With all of that said, I celebrated my 25th birthday this passed weekend, and allowed myself to take a break on all of my calorie counting; I was determined that I was NOT going to feel bad about having a piece of cake, or enjoying a meal out with family, while still trying to make reasonable dietary choices that helped to avoid a binge, or at the very least, a stomach ache. Before stepping on my scale this morning, I was convinced that I had gained some of the weight back, or had maintained my current weight throughout my indulgence.... man, was I surprised to see that I had actually lost another 5 pounds in between weigh ins, allowing me to cross over my original goal for the entire year! Looking back, I am honestly really proud of this accomplishment, and it makes me want to continue to chip away the extra fat, and allow myself to finally be the person who I am meant to be. At this point, I am contemplating adjusting the goal to a higher number, but I don’t want to get too cocky and overestimate what is realistic for me and my body. Anyway, this was just something small that I wanted to share with you all, as I am so grateful for everyone who shares their own personal stories, struggles and successes on this sub. Thanks for the support, everyone!

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Started at 209, checking in at the lowest I've been in years 166.9

I started my journey December or 2017 after being used by a guy and it motivated me to get a revenge body. When I first started my weight loss journey I was at my heaviest at 209 pounds. The major changes that I took where to eat cleaner, limit how much fast food I ate and if I did to try to choose a healthier option (even if that ment no salt on fries or no mayo) and cut way back on my alcohol intake. Unfortunately depression also played a role as I dont eat when I'm depressed and I went through 2 types of birth control and also lost my father in March. I now have a wonderful boyfriend who is incredibly supportive and has even gone out of his way to motivate me to go on walks at the end of the day and cooks low sodium dinners. Today I weighed myself at 166.9 pounds. It's been about a year and a half with a total loss of 43 pounds and I couldnt be happier. Keep at it, there were times that my weight stayed the same for like a whole month before it would drop again but you just have to keep going. Then half a year down the road you'll check your weight and see how far you've gone.

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My doctor automatically assumed I weighed 150 or less.

28/F/5’8 SW: 199 CW: 154 GW: 140

Just a little pick me up moment I had. Went to the dr for a follow up on a procedure I had a year ago. I hadn’t been in 6 months, so last time I was there I weighed 199.

The nurse was new, I had never seen before. She asked me to step on the scale. It was a sliding scale and already set at 150. Without hesitating she moved it to 100 and started moving the top bar. I smiled and kindly told her she would need the 150 mark (I am 154) but it hit me that looking at me, she assumed I was 150 or less.

She also say my previous log of 199 and looked bewildered. She was so excited when I told her about my weight loss and we grabbed about how much better it is to feel/be healthy. She mentioned a few things I was medically less susceptible to. She was genuinely proud of a stranger and it really felt like so many wins!

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This is hard...regained weight. Anyone relate?

Here's my story. Overweight/obese my entire life. Highest weight ever was 220lbs in 2011/2012. I initially lost about 30lbs in 2012 effortlessly by working on an organic farm over the summer simply because I was moving a lot and eating a lot less and healthier.

Once I left, I was at a standstill as I wasn't moving much anymore and started eating like I used to. I had no idea how much I weighed at that point because I didn't have a scale, but I knew I had lost some weight over the summer because my clothes were falling off of me. Oct 2013 decide to start tracking my food online because of this very subreddit. I felt encouraged so decided to buy a scale. I weighed in at 192lbs. I just kept at it with logging my food and counting calories, and week after week the pounds kept dropping off.

Lo and behold about a year and a half later, I'm down about 90lbs. I was thrilled to finally be at a healthy weight for my height and finally feel normal. My confidence soared, I started working out with workout DVD's and my body continued to improve and I felt so confident in clothing and even confident enough to wear a bathing suit/bikini for the first time as an adult. I felt great wearing summer dresses and shorts and skirts and all the clothing items I would never dream of wearing before. I used to loathe summer when I was overweight because I felt so uncomfortable in my skin and didn't want to wear anything that would show any skin, so I would suffer with long sleeves and pants. I vowed to never feel that way again and never gain the weight back. I even made a post on progress pics with my before and afters, which got a lot of attention, and had someone from Yahoo contact me to do an online article about my weight loss journey. I felt great and everyone who knew me was so proud, but most of all I was proud of myself.

I managed to stay in the mid-high 120's/low 130's from summer 2015 until summer 2018 and felt maintaining was pretty easy at that point. It all started going downhill starting the holiday season of 2018. All the previous Christmases I had managed to maintain and even lose weight by keeping track of the treats I was eating and adjusting my calories before/after so I could still indulge but not go overboard. For some reason this past Christmas I ate and ate and ate and didn't stop. I just figured once January rolled around I'd just go back to my regular routine and lose the few pounds I had put on. Only thing is I started a new job in January, a desk job, and I was very stressed and anxious all the time because new jobs are terrifying and I wanted to do well. My previous job was in food service and I was on my feet a lot more and was eating free salads at work everyday so it was easy for me to keep the weight off. I never had a desk job before so I really didn't think it would make that much of a difference but it did. Combined with the stress of the job itself, I started eating more and stopped tracking my food. Plus during winter, I was covered up so I didn't really notice the weight creeping on. Then my boyfriend and I went to NYC in May and I basically binged for 3 days straight and kept eating once I got back.

Well hot weather comes around and I finally have to face the reality of the past few months of not caring at all about my weight. I feel extremely uncomfortable in my skin again, my clothes don't fit/don't look good anymore. I finally faced the mirror and I knew that I had packed the weight back on only I didn't know how much, because I had stopped weighing myself early on during the year. I dug the old scale back out and stepped on: 150lbs. So I managed to gain about 20lbs since winter 2018. Yikes. That was on Monday, and since then I went back to what worked for me before, tracking my food, counting calories, upping my activity. And I'm already down 1.5lbs since then. I know it's probably water weight, but I've vowed to get back to 130 again, which was my happiest and most comfortable weight. I don't want to suffer through the rest of this summer being uncomfortable, even though I know it will probably take me until the end of the year to lose it all. I feel motivated just like I did when I started losing weight at 190lbs. I've done it before and I can do it again.

I honestly never thought I 'd be doing this again because I felt so confident in my ability to keep the weight off after 3 years. But it just goes to show, I WILL have to track my food and continue weighing myself on a regular basis for the rest of my life, and I'm ok with that. The alternative is much worse for me.

Sorry this was so long, I really neede to get this off of my chest. And I know 20lbs might not seem like a big deal to some, but I know myself and I know I feel better being at a lower weight. Does anyone have a similar story?

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