finding weight loss to be less about will power and more about organization

so i'm finally actually getting somewhere with my eating and taking control of it. i'm starting to feel militant about it because i organize everything. i've been cooking everything i eat for a couple of months now and, among other things, it gives me so much control over food. when i go shopping, i have to have a rough idea of what i'll be cooking and it feels like i put everything i buy under the microscope. like there's no more hidden food somehow; things don't just slip into my groceries.

learning to do all of this takes so much organization and planning and control. it's the kind of thing people take for granted if they've always done it because if it's just your normal habit it seems really straightforward. but trying out a ton of recipes you've never made, sifting through them to find ones you like, training yourself to buy groceries, actually preparing and eating what you buy, none of that is simple or straightforward if you've just been eating bags of chips and ice cream for dinner the past five years. after a while, i'm sure it will all come as second nature but for now i have to be militant about my habits.

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Obesity is a symptom not the disease...

TLDR at bottom

I’ve lost 50 pounds over the past two and a half months. It all started with my mom telling me she wanted me to sign up for this fitness program. I resisted but she won out... I’m so so thankful she did.

The program consisted of addressing some psychological issues and dealing with your past before dealing with your future. Toward the third week it felt really easy... then I had an assignment: recall the three worst things that have happened to me in life. It sounds easy until you actually think of why those things were so awful.

No amount of physical pain could surmount the emotional pain... two of my worst things were about girls I’d dated. But the third was something I’d never even truly admitted to myself... I was molested by someone who had authority over me. Someone my family trusted.

I still struggle to say it out loud but acknowledging it helped me get over it. I hated myself for so long but could never figure out why and then when I acknowledged what had happened it felt like a huge weight was lifted from my shoulders. Then actual weight fell off as it became easier to focus on life- I wasn’t relieving pain by stuffing my face.

I’m still on my journey but I want you to know; if you’re struggling to lose weight, the problem might not even be something you think it is. It might be pain deep down that you’ve hidden in shame, guilt, anger, or sadness. You don’t need to hide it- let go of it, say it out loud, tell someone you love, just let it out! Once you do, you might just cure your disease and the symptoms will go away in time,

TLDR: Addressing past trauma may be the key to ultimate weight loss and keeping it off among other things which I learned after acknowledging that I was diddled as a kid

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People who are quit smoking but and are also losing weight, how do you do it?

For me, it is really hard and is almost impossible. I tend to crave and sometimes eat much more food when I am not smoking, because the cravings are so strong. Especially around my pms, it is next to unbearable. So it's either a cigarette or eating more. A very frustrating thing when you are trying to lose weight and quit smoking at the same time is that around week 1, of quitting smoking, all food starts to taste infinitely tastier and richer in flavor and you are like whoa, what is this, so of course you are craving more. Of course cigarettes also suppress your appetite, so I can eat pretty healthily and within what I should eat in a day. I am not saying that a non-smoker would eat more, is just that in the early days of quitting smoking, you just crave.

I have been unsuccessful in quitting smoking again, not only because I wanted to eat more, but because I am physically and mentally craving it some days to the point where it gets frustrating. It is so weird, because I am also sober for 7 months and been doing well with my weight loss and some pilates, but the cigarettes are so annoying. And i hate 16 year old me for ever taking it up. How is it possible for me to refuse a delicious looking cake because I have a cabbage salad and some chicken for lunch, but not say no to myself when I want to smoke? I am also pretty terrible with taking breaks at work when I don't smoke because what do I do with my time? Now that I have started cooking, I do smoke less and eat my lunch properly, but it is still hard.

The hardest one is at parties and get together. I started out as a social smoker, but at parties it is so weird because inside, I feel like fat girl, and like I don't want to talk to anyone and just feel inadequate. Outside smoking I am a different person, and I tell jokes, I listen to people and you get to know them, while inside it just feels weird to randomly talk to people if you are not smoking.

So how did you guys manage, which one do you prioritize? The weight loss or the quitting smoking? Can you do both of them at the same time? How? Please don't say IQOS or something like that because it is just blergh.

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Comments about my weight loss make me very uncomfortable

I’ve attended a gathering that mostly consisted of people that’ve had known me for 5+ years, and as soon as I entered the room the main subject was everyone’s instant shock over my weight loss, nobody even “opened” the convo with the usual “hey, how are you?” everybody immediately started commenting about how different I look now, what’s my secret, what exercises I’ve been doing, one person even said that I look “half the size I was last year”. It just felt horrible, being put in unwanted center of attention, even though I believe everyone’s remarks came from good intentions, I’ve always tried to hide my body and flaws as much as possible and now listening to all this just made me feel really bad about the old version of myself, it felt like I’ve been walking around with dog poop on my head and everyone had to deal with it without telling me and now that I’ve finally got rid of it I’m being praised for making everyone’s life easier.

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SV and NSV- After plateauing for a month or more, I am finally in the 60s!

SV: My weight had plateaued for maybe around 6 weeks, anywhere between 70.5kg to 73kg and I was SO frustrated. I knew I needed to change something to kick start it again but despite the frustration, I just kept being lazy.... 6 years of weight loss efforts told me I either needed to eat less (but I love food, wahh) or do more. Then I remembered I'd gone from 10+ active hours a week around the farm, plus riding nearly every day, to only 4-5 hours and no riding. Welp! So even though I don't get paid for it, I've made it a point to go out every two days to pick up horse shit. Not a huge difference in physical activity, over the week it might add up to another 3-5 hours depending how many horses we have in, but apparently it was just the shift I needed- this mornings weigh in read 69.9kg. JUST in the 60s but I'll take it! Bonus point, I find picking up manure to be therapeutic- going from messy yards to pristine clean ones makes me feel good.

Side note: I logged into MFP recently after a LONG break, like a year or two. My goal weight was 75kg- when I orginally set that (from 92kg at the time, 102kg top weight), I truly believed I'd never be 'really' slim, and that 75 was probably the best I could get. I thought my 170cm frame (5'7" for those not playing at home) would just be fat forever.... However by the time I did log back in, I'd already smashed that goal. Don't cut yourself short ladies and gents! I mean it- I *believed* with every ounce of my soul that I was destined to be fat forever, and here I am now merely 6-8kg from my ideal weight. It's taken me forever, I've learned what works for me and what doesn't, for the first few years my weight went up and down like noones business, but for the last 2 it's been steady- albeit slow. Don't give up.

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NSV: A few weeks ago I posted about fitting into size 12 clothes for the first time in my adult life. I still can't believe it, like even though my wardrobe is predominantly 12s now (with a couple of 10s!) I keep feeling like the tags must be wrong, I am still definitely fat. I suspect it's going to take my brain a long time to catch up with my body shape and what not. But my NSV is that I went to the races on the weekend- Derby Day which meant black and white only- and honestly I felt amazing. Well, at least until my shape wear started riding up and giving me the ultimate day long wedgie, but that aside... I was in a size Medium dress, tanned, heels, makeup, lashes, fascinator, clutch.... I feel like the world is opening up for me fashion wise. Previously I would find stuff that fit me, sometimes even attempted to flatter my shape, but I never felt AMAZING in those clothes like I do now.

Unfortunately I didn't get a decent full length shot on the day, but this is trying everything on (sans iron, hair, makeup and nails), and this is my makeup etcon the day.

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NSV - Secondhand Shopping

Hi everyone! Obligatory stats: 5'7.5" HW: 200 LW: 148 CW: 159

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My weight loss journey started about 2 and a half years ago - my senior year of college. At the time, secondhand and thrift shopping were starting to be the cooler option and I was excited to get some unique and sustainable pieces. At my higher weights, I struggled a lot. While there were probably the same amount of options for me when I was a size 12, the misfits hit me harder.

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Today, I went shopping for a winter jacket and, as usual, got distracted in the racks. I tried on a pair of vintage pants - size 10 - and they did NOT fit. Usually, I'm a size 6/8. When I was a size 12, if I had tried on a size 16 and not been able to get it above my hips, I would have probably spent the night feeling bad about myself (and eating a Ben & Jerry's).

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Even though my weight creeped up from my low weight, it's creeping back down again. I'm happy that I'm finally able to go about losing (and shopping) in a healthy manner. When I was first losing weight, I might have used an ill-fitting pair of pants as a way to negatively motivate myself to restrict, but I just went about my day, eating normally and feeling normally.

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I'm excited about hitting my goals and enjoying the trip there! Also, I cannot recommend thrift shopping enough to those who are losing weight or looking for a goal dress/pair of jeans/what-have-you. You can really make a statement with a unique piece that you feel super confident in!

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I think this is the first time I’ve taken weight loss seriously, and I love to see it’s working. :)

For the last 10 years or so I had been slowly and consistently gaining weight. I’d gone on a diet more than once, but never really took it seriously.

A few weeks ago I decided it was time and got on it for real for the first time. Since starting I’ve lost about 10 pounds, I have a ways to go and I know it might be harder the closer I get to my goal, but damn, it feels so good to see I can actually do it if I really want it. I feel so motivated and so happy every time I see the scale shift closer to my goal, even by a little.

Anyways, I just wanted to share my excitement and hopefully motivate anyone that feels like they can’t do it. I’m not there yet, but I sure am on my way and it feels amazing!

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