I dont really know where to begin. I was doing well at first, went down from 307 earlier this year to about 260 in early September. But that was 4 months ago. I have fallen off the wagon already after taking a 2 week vacation in September and starting a relationship (with a sweet man who says he doesn't care about my weight, but no guy would look at me when I was over 300, so it's hard to believe) and am now back up to 274 and my mental motivation is just not right like it was before. My binge eating disorder seems to be back too, so that's causing me anxiety which is then causing me to binge. I'm back to working out 3 times a week, so that's good, but we all know weight loss comes from the kitchen and not the gym. Any tips or advice from people having been in the same boat? I'm basically freaking out and planning to fast until I get back down to 260 at this point
Current stats: Female, 19 years old, 5'4'', 118 lbs, 25% body fat percentage. Down from 190 lbs.
My story:
I have always been at a very healthy weight and body fat percentage growing up (around 115 lbs, 5'4''). Being brought up in China, most of our daily food options was healthy and out diet consisted of mostly whole, unprocessed, home-cooked foods. Snacks, if any, were mostly fruits and seeds. (When I first came to the US for college, I was astounded by the amount of snacks people consume. Snacking wasn't really a thing China when I was growing up. People viewed processed snacks as rare treats. It might have changed now but whatever.)
My second year of high school I went through a really horrible break up, got extremely depressed, and turned to food for comfort. I would eat my normal three Chinese meals a day: breakfast was either meat buns or savory crepes, lunch and dinner was veggies, meat (mostly non-lean pork), and rice. Apart from that, I ate whenever I had access to food. It was around the time when online take-out (similar to Uber Eats but much cheaper and more prevalent -- almost every dining vendor offered online take-out) was a huge thing in China, and I would order the most unhealthy options multiple times a day. At the school lunch break, after finishing my regular lunch, I would order a whole fried chicken. Take-out food wasn't allowed at my school, so I would tell the delivery guy to sneak in my food through the campus fence alongside a riverbank, so security officers wouldn't notice. I would eat it secretly in an unused classroom, or in a restroom stall. After school I would immediately head to the convenience store and buy whatever looked good to me -- chips, chocolate, ice cream, a Japanese dish/snack called oden, and instant ramen. I would go home and devour them, and then order more food : sometimes sugary boba, sometimes even full meals (ramen, rice drenched in greasy meaty sauces, or western fast food). I would eat everything before my mom gets home from work, and then have dinner. If she goes out in the evening, I would order even more food (mostly sanitarily questionable night market food). On the weekends I would beg my parents to take me out for Korean BBQ/ hot pot (1000+ calories per meal) and they would usually agree. And I didn't even get full from all this eating/binging. I was in puberty, and had a huge stomach. The void in my chest was insatiable.
I packed on 75 pounds of weight within three months. I was already bullied in high school by a mean girl who constantly called me ugly (and I am quite sure that I am actually not -- my looks are, at worst, average), and after I gained so much weight, the amount of bullying towards me was unimaginable. (Side note: obesity among teenagers in China is extremely rare. The average girl would weigh around 110-120 lbs, and anyone over 120 lbs were perceived by society standards as overweight. So I, with my 190 lbs ginormous body, was a spectacle at school. Even some teachers called me fat and told me to lose weight.) I got even more depressed and didn't want to go to school anymore, so I decided to apply for college in the US and was homeschooled for the last year and a half of my high school years.
Not meaning to brag here, but something that made me feel better and kept my self esteem to be finitely negative (instead of infinitely negative) during my days of extreme depression: in my last year of high school I self-taught 8 AP courses, got straight 5's, got nearly 1600 in my SAT, and got accepted into one of the top 2 US institutes of technology, as well as two ivy league schools. This brought up my spirits and I finally decided to lose weight. I didn't want to go to an elite college full of high spirited people while looking so obese and unhealthy.
As I was so determined to lose weight and very motivated by my glamorous college offers, my depression got better, and I lost weight very quickly. All I did was cutting out all the excess food apart from my three meals a day and got back to my former eating habits I had growing up. My parents were also very supportive, and I am so thankful for them. I quickly lost 55 pounds in 4 months. When I went to college, I was 135 lbs, and I looked like a normal human being. I still had slabs of fat on my arms, thighs, and belly, but with proper clothing I was able to hide them rather seamlessly. From afar, I looked like 125 lbs.
I wish this were the whole story, but it really wasn't, and things went downhill again.
My first college term went smoothly --- classes were easier than I imagined, and my dating life was good. In the second term, I got into a steady relationship with my current boyfriend. At that time, I started to be self conscious about my body again. I didn't want him to touch my waist because I was afraid he would notice the excess fat. I refused to have sex because I didn't want him to see my chubby body (but I really wanted to have sex tbh). I wanted to lose weight as fast as possible, and youtube got me into keto.
Now, I'm not saying keto is bad. It just couldn't work for me. Ya Chinese girl needs her rice and carbs. Also apart from keto, I was extremely under-eating, was doing intermittent fasting, and also prolonged fasting a couple times a month. I really went as extreme as I could. Cutting out carbs and so many calories quickly got me back down into a depression (later re-diagnosed as bipolar disorder). I started binge eating. And this was different from my binge eating in high-school. I never felt full during my binges in high school, but this time, I stuffed my face even if I was uncomfortably full, and made myself throw up after that. And I would try to fast the next couple of days, which would eventually lead to another binge. An endless cycle. I was miserable all the damn time. I couldn't stop thinking about food, and I craved sweets and carbs every single waking moment. But I didn't realize I had a problem. I just thought that I didn't have enough willpower, and I would start over and stay on track tomorrow, which of course, never happened.
I quit keto sometime later, and tried a ton of other different fad diets: whole30, no-sugar diet, kpop diets, the military diet, the 5-2 diet, one meal a day, and the list goes on. All of them felt extremely restrictive and I always ended up binging and purging.
I didn't lose a pound for an entire year of being in complete turmoil. I didn't know how to eat normally anymore.
Things started to change when I discovered two youtubers: Yoora Jung, and zoenotzoey. These two channels were extremely helpful for my ED recovery journey.
Yoora's content are mostly college vlogs, and nothing about fitness and health (I actually came across her channel when she posted a video about trying out a kpop IU diet, which is so ironic). And to be frank, her diet was unhealthy. It consisted mostly of my fear foods: instant ramen, fried rice, soylent, pizza -- your standard diet as a broke college student. But she has no guilt at all while eating those foods, and she eats very intuitively. Her channel helped me realize what a *normal* college student eats in a day, and that you can eat your fear foods in moderation and still look pretty like her. It was initially hard to believe that a girl with that kind of diet would be able to maintain her weight, but now that I look back on it, it was me who was extremely under-eating and had a wrong perception when it comes to how much food we should eat.
Zoe is more of a health/fitness youtuber, and honestly, she really has my dream body, slender and dainty. Her diet was 80% healthy food, and 20% treats --- she would have ground turkey and tofu and spinach and quinoa and avocado toast for most of her meals, but she has a treat every day and would go out to cute food places with her friend on the weekends. Her diet looked healthy and not restrictive at all. It was what I would imagine my 105-lb self would eat like ideally. I came to a realization that I couldn't live on 800 calories a day forever. And I didn't need to "diet" at all. All I have to do to achieve my body goals is to ask myself, "what would a healthy girl do?" when making decisions. A healthy girl would eat salad when she feels like it, and not feel guilty when she eats pizza and cake. After all, I want a healthy life, and not a healthy month.
What really turned around my relationship with food was when I went home for one month of summer break after my summer research internship ended. I already decided to stop dieting and eat normally, but I haven't actually implemented it yet. At home, my parents treated me a lot. I had hot pot three times, had rice for every meal, and had boba 2 times a week. It was summer time and so I also had ice cream. I didn't binge once, and always stopped eating when I was full. To my astonishment, I lost 2 pounds during that month. Me from a few months ago would think that I would gain a ton of weight from that diet, but no, I lost weight. My metabolism was higher than I imagined, and my maintenance calories was definitely not the number that online calculators told me.
Being somehow not so fearful of food anymore, I went back to school after my break, and followed a mostly healthy diet: overnight oats or avocado toast for breakfast, sushi for lunch (sushi is soooo good), and healthy protein and veggies for dinner; I had healthy snacks and treated myself to a small amount of chocolate or ice cream every night. I enjoyed every single meal, was never physically hungry, and was looking forward to working out. With my high metabolism as a teenager, I miraculously lost 15 pounds of weight over the three months of my sophomore fall term of not being restrictive at all. I am now almost back to the weight before my immense weight gain, and feel much more confident about my body.
Now, I am far from fully recovered. I still binged a couple of times, and even purged sometimes. My brain is still not free from the habit of binging and purging, but I am definitely improving and trying to break that habit. There is a long way till recovery and I'm still at 10 pounds from my goal weight. But I know I am at the right track and I am very optimistic about it.
If you read until this far, I wanna say a huge thank you! I can't believe how much I ended up writing. Wish you all the best on your weight loss journeys!
Okay, I know this is going to sound like a stupid "look at me" post or something, like I know all of us here struggled or are struggling to lose weight. I am right there with you guys I promise. I've went from 263 to 185 in the past 7-8 months, and it was extremely hard at first. My problem right now, which is effecting me 24/7 and is all I think about, is that since 11/25 I've been 185 pounds. And right around then was Thanksgiving, and since then I've been tracking calories less (still mindful of calories and portions, just not tracking nearly as much), but I've also been indulging in a lot of snacks (triscuits, pretzel sticks and popcorn mainly) and alcohol (vodka with water) a lot in that same time. My scale hasn't moved from 185 (i weigh myself every morning after using the bathroom, I've gone between 182.5 to 187 in those times but 185 is pretty much the baseline.) but I FEEL like I am gaining weight when I look at myself, I don't know if that's because I know I am not being healthy in the slightest and know I should be doing better? I get a lot of exercise through my job and other activities so I can see why I would be able to maintain but it keeps going through my head that I need to restrict. I've started cutting back on the alcohol because I know that's not good for me for other reasons than weight loss. Idk, I just keep thinking about how unhealthy I am a lot but I don't know why the scale won't go up? I'm sure a lot is in my head, has anyone else been anywhere close to experiencing this kind of thing? Sorry for this post, I just can't take feeling like I'm gaining weight but not gaining weight on the scale anymore!
btw I was wondering if my scale was just broken and that's why it wouldn't move, but my dad who lives separately from me said that he used it and it aligned with what he weighs on his Smart Scale at his place (and we don't weigh the same, ~40 pounds difference)
edit: I'm also not trying to gain weight I am trying to lose still, I just know I haven't been making the smartest choices in the past 2-3 weeks and I don't know why the scale doesn't reflect that? Not that I am trying to gain, just I am trying to understand my body and understand how everything effects it. I've already been downvoted i guess but I'm not trying to insult anyone who's having trouble losing, I'm just obsessing because I don't understand why I am eating like I was before and not gaining it back. Please please please don't think this is a post that is saying it is easy to lose or maintain weight, I know it isn't. I just don't understand.
To stay warm during the freezing season, you’ll need a coat, boots, hat, scarf and maybe even long underwear. To stay healthy, you’ll need a nutritional game plan. The right vitamins and nutrients not only help you resist the bacteria and viruses that cause colds and flu, but they also help ease symptoms of—or shorten the duration of—your winter illnesses.
These are the five nutrients your body needs more of in winter:
1. Vitamin D
Nonfat, fortified milk is a protein-packed way to get vitamin D, so you don’t miss out on the nutrients your body needs.
Why you need it this season: It’s in very short supply. Unless you live close to the equator, you’ll be hard-pressed to get enough vitamin D this winter. While consuming lots of liver, egg yolks, cheese, fatty fish or vitamin D-fortified foods is an option, most will be deprived of the greatest source of vitamin D—the sun. The sun’s Ultraviolet-B rays produce vitamin D right in your skin but, as you can imagine, in winter, the sun’s rays are at so much of an angle that they don’t actually enter the earth’s atmosphere. According to the Vitamin D Council, to get 1000 IU of Vitamin D in winter, you’d have to expose about a quarter of your body to the sun for about 15 to 20 minutes. If you’re in Miami, lucky you, this might not be a problem. But, if you’re in Boston, where it’s a lot colder, you might need to sunbathe an hour or two. Somehow, the second option seems a bit less fun.
Vitamin D is one of the nutrients your body needs in the winter because of its ability to work like a gangbuster in supporting a healthy immune system, deflecting cold and flu viruses, as well as bacterial infections. In fact, scientists suspect that one reason you’re more likely to get the flu in the winter is because you’re not getting enough of the sunshine vitamin.
In recent years, vitamin D deficiency has also been linked to the bone thinning disease, heart disease, cancer and even Alzheimer’s disease. It’s also linked to the bone-thinning disease, osteoporosis. In fact, older people tend to lose more bone during winter because of vitamin D deficiency.
One potential bonus to keeping up with your D in winter: A 2014 University of Georgia study published in the journal Medical Hypotheses suggests that there may be a link between seasonal affective disorder—the overwhelming depression that many people experience during the winter months—and a vitamin D deficiency caused by less exposure to sunlight. This typically occurs more frequently in people who live far north or south of the equator, according to the National Institute of Mental Health.
Winter worries about the nutrients your body needs? Fresh oranges pack a vitamin C punch.
Why you need it this season: While perhaps not quite the miracle cold cure it was once considered, a 2009 analysis of studies examining vitamin C’s effect on the common cold found that this immune-boosting vitamin can slightly reduce the duration of colds in healthy people. One study published by the National Center for Biotechnology information even found an 85 percent reduction in symptoms.
Vitamin C may also help if you’re at high risk of getting a cold because of frequent exposure, according to the Mayo Clinic. Healthcare workers and teachers, who interact with other individuals all day long fall into that category. The effects are more pronounced if you’re C-deficient and about 13 percent of Americans are, even though it’s relatively easy to get C in the diet. Smokers are at greatest risk, but just one quarter of a cup of orange juice meets the adult daily requirement of 90 mg.
How much you need: 90 mg for men over 18 and 75 mg for women over 18.
Best food sources: Raw red pepper (a half cup, chopped), 95 mg; orange juice (one cup), 96 mg.; orange (140 g), 83 mg; kiwifruit (69 g), 64 mg; raw green pepper (a half cup), 60 mg; broccoli (a half cup cooked), 51 mg; strawberries (a half cup, sliced), 49 mg.
3. Essential Fatty Acids (Omega-3s)
Oil does much more than help you feel full. Flaxseed and canola oils ensure you are nourishing your body with fatty acids, nutrients your body needs.
Why you need it this season: These essential nutrients are famous for their role in heart disease and inflammatory autoimmune condition (rheumatoid arthritis) prevention, but studies suggest they may also play a significant role in shoring up your immune system against the onslaught of winter illness. Omega-3s, found mainly in fatty fish like salmon and tuna, enhance the disease-fighting power of immune system cells, like white blood cells or B-cells, according to a recent study from Michigan State University researchers, published in the Journal of Leukocyte Biology.
How much you need: There’s no official daily requirement for omega-3s as there is for vitamins, but the 2015 Dietary Guidelines for Americans recommends two, four-ounce servings of fish a week which is the equivalent of 250 mg daily of omega-3s. Most Americans get the equivalent of less than one ounce of fish per day, according to a study published in Nutrition Journal.
Best food sources: Government health agencies list food sources according to the types of omega-3 fatty acids food contain (there are three). The best sources in general are fatty fish such as salmon, mackerel, tuna, herring and sardines; plant oils such a flaxseed, soybean and canola oils; chia seeds and black walnuts.
4. Zinc
Treat yourself to some crab this evening and get a whole host of winter nutrients your body needs. Zinc is just as important as the other guys for cold weather health.
Why you need it this season: One word: Colds. You’ve probably seen a packet of zinc lozenges at the checkout counter of your local pharmacy this winter. That’s because there’s some evidence that zinc can help cut the severity and duration of the common cold—by maybe as much as 50 percent. Zinc is essential to keeping your immune system soldiers—T cells (from the thymus gland), Natural Killer (NK) cells, and lymphocytes (both kinds of white blood cells)—armed and good to go when there’s an invasion of disease-causing microbes. It also plays a role in producing antibodies to neutralize invaders.
Did you know you can use sweet potatoes as bread? Slice one into quarter rounds for a flavorful bread substitute. Having the nutrients your body needs has never been easier and more delicious!
Why you need it this season: This one’s a double boost to your immune system. Like vitamin D, vitamin A has, as one researcher noted, “a crucial effect on the immune response.” This fat-soluble vitamin enhances the activity of T cells and B cells (those responsible for antibodies) and may even prevent B cells from dying. Early studies found that vitamin A could reduce death and complications in kids with measles, which is caused by a virus and is today prevented by vaccine.
You may also get a bonus if you increase your intake of vitamin A foods. Beta-carotene—the raw material from which vitamin A is made—may fortify your immune defenses on its own, even before it’s transformed to A, based on a study published in the Journal of Nutrition.
How much you need: 900 micrograms (3,000 IU) for adult men, 700 mcg (2,300) for adult women
Best food sources: Sweet potato (large, whole baked), 1,730 mcg and 34,592 IU; beef liver (one slice, pan fried, 81 g), 6,273 mcg and 21,131 IU; spinach (boiled, half a cup) 472 mcg and 9,433 IU; carrots (half a cup cooked slices), 665 mcg and 13,286 IU; cantaloupe (half a cup, cubed), 135 mcg and 2,706 IU; red peppers (sweet, half a cup, chopped), 117 mcg and 2,333 IU.
Last night at a dinner party with friends I saw a friend who I hadn’t seen in a couple years, well before I lost 60lb. All my friends have been really supportive but he’s reaction was really negative. He said “you’re really stupid for losing all that weight. There’s no way you were obese back then. You looked fine then, and now you look like shit” His tone was rough. He himself is overweight. It was the first time that I encountered a very negative and aggressive reaction to my weight loss. I even explained that my nutritionist and personal trainer monitor my body fat and diet every two weeks and that I still have to lose a couple pounds of body fat but he wasn’t having any of it. To be honest, he’s reaction caught me off guard. How do you handle negative reactions to weight loss? I thought everybody would be so happy for me.
Hello everyone! Today is my one year anniversary. I remember last year finding this reddit and immediately having “day 1” resonate with my feelings on weight and weight loss. I started reading stories and learning more about CICO. Since joining I’ve lost 17 kgs. I know it’s not much compared to some- but it’s not a competition, it’s just loving myself into a new body.
I hope you all are making progress mentally and/or physically. Keep it up! And remember: “Don’t let the pursuit of perfect get in the way of progress”.
Oh! And please let me know,
What sort of progress have you made this year?
What was your favorite recipe this year? (Mine was overnight oats)
What has been your biggest motivation?
I’m curious to know!
Best of luck, everyone! And thank you all for being my motivation.
I'm kind of a lurker on Reddit but I was so happy I finally had to make an account and share it with you guys.
I'm 25. I graduated high school at the very edge of being a healthy BMI (5'4'' and 145 pounds). I hit 145.5 pounds this morning. I'm not only technically at a healthy weight but I haven't weighed so little for SEVEN years. I'm amazed. My final goal weight is between 130 and 135 pounds so I've still got some work to do.
From the minute I graduated high school, I've been steadily gaining weight. I kept telling myself it wasn't that bad but I graduated college at 175 pounds. The weight gain continued when I got into medical school.
When I had my physical to get cleared to start clinical rotations, I weighed in at 201 pounds which was the wake-up call I needed to start taking weight loss seriously.
I've had issues in the past with calorie counting and really bad anxiety so I focused initially on just making better choices in small ways. For example, bunless burgers and half a portion of fries. I stopped drinking any calories. Black coffee was the hardest part.
Surprisingly, this worked remarkably well which helped motivate me to keep going.
When I started my clinical rotations in July, I decided that instead of buying a cafeteria lunch everyday I would just have low calories snacks at lunch and have a bigger dinner when I got home. I can't really call it OMAD but some days I did only eat dinner. Lunch would be things like watermelon, cucumber, bell peppers etc.
Anyway, I've finally at a healthy weight and I'm beyond happy.
Unfortunately, I'm realizing the downside of large weight loss is none of my clothes fit. I had a fun moment when getting ready for a holiday party yesterday and I realized my cocktail dress was too big. (Thank God for cardigans and safety pins)
