Sometimes it’s easier to just fail than to keep trying to improve yourself with the fear of failing always lurking.

I got a little off track for a few days around Halloween/the election. It happens. I know it’s not impossible to pick myself back up and get back on track, but when it came time to eat lunch today, I was actively struggling.

I forced myself to sit with my feelings. I was feeling pretty blah. I wanted to go to Arby’s and get curly fries as a pick me up. What’s one more “bad” meal, right? And I realized that I have a lot of internal dialogue around how I can only ever stick with a weight loss attempt for a few months... I knew this time I’d fail again... I just knew it.

So then I forced myself to imagine getting something healthy. And then I thought, what the hell is the point of a healthy lunch if I’m just going to fail anyway? And sitting and reflecting on that rebuttal in my own head made it all clear. I realized that I fail only when I convince myself that failure was predetermined all along.

But here is the thing. It’s not.

So I had a healthy lunch. I had an apple for a snack. My future isn’t predetermined. I will almost certain skip tracking or eat too much candy again before I die. But then instead of berating myself and saying “see, you’re a huge loser who stands no chance of losing weight, I knew you’d fail all along,” I can say instead, “so you ate too many Butterfingers. Who cares? You haven’t failed until you’ve given up. And you are NOT about to give up over some damn Butterfingers!”

Here’s to a healthy dinner and a lifetime of small failures.

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I worried I would gain all the weight back while living alone in America for 3 months - turns out I’ve kept losing!

Progress pics

I gained around 50lbs in 2016-17 when I quit smoking and started comfort eating. Every day after work when I felt stressed I would go to the shop and buy whatever I wanted to eat. It was really unhealthy and I formed a strong habit. In October I took a before photo, meaning to start an exercise program that never got off the ground. In January, I was so uncomfortable in my body I knew I had to do something.

In 2007, I had full blown bulimia and once I had recovered I pushed away the idea of any active weight loss as relapse. I felt like I couldn’t try to lose weight or I risked falling into the same patterns that once threatened to swallow me while. My weight fluctuated in that decade within the normal range and a couple of lbs overweight since I wasn’t actively controlling it but it wasn’t until this last year that my weight was unhealthy and I was approaching the obese category.

I was doing well with moderate CICO and regular exercise for 8 months (down around 30lbs at 5’3”). I had good routines and I was losing weight in a psychologically healthy way for the first time in my life. I took a progress picture and felt like I was halfway to where I wanted to be. Then I had to move to the US for three months to work. All my routines, all my support were gone and I was stressed. The first week I binged, I had a donut every day, I went out for lunch with new coworkers, I bought whatever chips and crackers and desserts I wanted to try from the shop. I felt so out of control and I saw myself throwing away all my progress from the year. I took a picture at my new workplace as a reference for where I was after this week.

Then I worked hard to form a semi-healthy routine here. I stopped buying the snacks and going out as much, stopped with the donuts, starting making my own lunches and started tracking again. It’s been three months and although I haven’t been able to weigh myself, I’m down another dress size and the jeans I wore all the time when I came here are too baggy to wear.

I’m leaving this week to go home again and honestly I’m quite proud of myself. I made it through. I almost let it all go and I’m so glad I didn’t! I haven’t told many people I’m trying to lose weight so I just wanted to share :)

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New motivation

I have always struggled with weight loss. I just have barely any self control around carbs and sweets. My sister told me she only eats a banana and coffee before work but only because she’s lazy. I realized that I always make a full course meal before work and I’m never even hungry. I just do it bc I know if I don’t I’ll be hungry later. They’re typically healthy meals but still high in calories, like eggs, toast, avocado and milk. I eat it just so I’m not hungry later but it doesn’t even matter bc I still get hungry later. Today I decided that since I’m not hungry, I’m going to make two hard boiled eggs and a banana and eat them when I’m hungry. By doing that, I cut out my mid morning snack. It felt good too. I know this behavior won’t last so I listened to an interview with the author of the book “how not to die.” It’s on YouTube if you look it up and is 45 minutes long. That motivated me because they’ll talk about diseases and how they’re preventable through diet.. it motivated me so much that for lunch I had a small side salad with light ranch and vegetable soup. I know it’s only one day but I’m really proud and I think I found a new motivation... Im going to keep listening to nutrition topics on YouTube. I hope you guys find this motivating as well!

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I’ve lost 55 lbs in a little under six months, yet my advice to a friend seems to mean nothing.

Hey there, guys. So a bit of back story, I started CICO in May. I’m 24, 5’4, female, & my starting weight was 190 lbs. fast forward through a lot of self discipline & lifestyle changes, I hit my goal of 135 lbs last week. Feels so incredible, I can’t even describe how powerful I feel. I can now run on the treadmill for 30 minutes straight, I make better decisions, etc... However, I do have this one gripe. I’ve had a few people in my life ask me how I’ve done it, & I’m more than happy to tell them exactly what I did. CICO, moderate cardio, don’t drink like a damn fish. All the usual healthy tips & tricks that lead to so many successful weight loss stories. Hopefully I can help someone this way! What frustrates me is when people just straight up don’t want to hear it. My best friend just flew into town for a few days, I haven’t seen him in about a year. We talk on the phone at least three times a week while he’s not in town, so I do know that he’s been struggling with his weight more so than usual in the last few months. He tries in certain aspects to make an effort, but his issue is that he’s not paying attention to the crap he eats. He’s mostly vegetarian & eats a lot of veggies when he cooks. But I know he eats out constantly & it just doesn’t seem to register to him that if you don’t pay attention to your calorie intake, like at all, that you’re more than likely not going to lose anything. His excuse, which infuriates me the most, is that he thinks it’s only beer that keeps him from losing weight. The guy doesn’t even drink that much! I mean, yes, alcohol & especially beer are super fattening. If you can’t get your drinking under control, it can be a hindrance. But it is not, cannot be, the ONLY thing keeping you from losing weight. When I first started, I told myself that I’m only allowed wine on the weekends. I didn’t cut it out completely because that just means that now I have TWO hard lifestyle changes. Double the chance to fail. By no means am I trying to push a calorie counting app on him or anything, but when you hear things from someone like, “Seeing how you look now, I’m inspired to be better,” is that not an invitation to me to maybe tell him how I did it? Because I’m breathing proof that CICO is what works. Sorry for the long post. I guess I’m frustrated because I’m worried about him. I know he’s bordering on morbidly obese. Not that I would ever say that to him because I’m not terrible. But I am worried. Maybe I just need to vent, maybe one of you has gone through something similar. Any words of wisdom would help. If you’ve made it this far, thanks for reading this & I hope your day is wonderful & you hit your goals!

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I wanted to share my first victory.

Today is day 2 of my latest attempt to lose weight. I'm doing some things differently this time, and hoping it makes a difference.

My first victory is that yesterday was a perfect day.

I started by doing something I've never really tried before, I meditated. I sat down in the middle of the floor after I got out of the shower, and I just meditated and envisioned what a successful day would be like. It wasn't all about weight loss and eating right, I included stuff that was work and home related as well, giving myself like a mental checklist of things I wanted to get done. I pictured myself eating healthy meals and snacks, staying within my calories, and not being tempted by sweets.

It seems to have worked, as yesterday, my first day back at it, I had a perfect day. For this first time in as long as I can remember I didn't eat a single piece of candy (which is saying something, as there are bowls of halloween candy all around the office and at my house). I turned down donuts at the morning meeting. I didn't do my usually snacking while I waited for dinner to be ready, and I had an apple for dessert instead of the pie that I wasn't expecting to be there when I got home from work.

I also checked off all the tasks I'd set for myself at home and work as well.

It was a good day. And I went to bed feeling really effing good about myself.

I woke up this morning feeling really energized and awake. I got up early, took extra time getting ready and feeling good about myself, and took the time to meditate again today, picturing healthy eating habits, productive work habits, and good habits for taking care of myself.

I've also developed a kind of mantra. I say to myself "I am stronger than I think, and Food does not control me." and I say it whenever I get the urge at the usual times to go get a snack.

Lastly, I got some sugar free, whitening gum that I have been chewing between meals. It keeps my mouth busy, and makes my mouth taste fresh and clean which makes me not want to make it dirty with food.

Other times I've tried to lose weight I've started off feeling very excited, determined, on fire, and sure I'd succeed. I think this time I will because it feels different. It's actually not as strong, it's not a bright burning determination and almost crazed desire to succeed I usually get. It's more of a cold fire, of a focused and controlled slow burn. I think I've got the staying power I haven't had in my last desperate attempts.

Thanks for reading. :) I think part of the success is the lots of support I got on my post yesterday. So thank you.

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Chael Sonnen AMA Announcement!

We will have an AMA with Chael Sonnen tomorrow (Friday the 9th) at 10:30 AM Central Time. Sonnen is the author of The Four-Pack Revolution. He is well known for manipulating his weight throughout his mixed martial arts career; his most drastic weight cut lead him to lose over 36 pounds in a 3 week period. Sonnen does not encourage drastic weight loss and describes that experience as "the single most difficult, physical experience of [his] entire life." These experiences have led Sonnen to speak extensively about the difference between the extreme weight cuts that he has done for his fighting career and the sustainable weight loss that is necessary if a person ever hopes to maintain their goal weight.

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Anyone else's weight loss chart look like a set of stairs?

I weigh myself every day, but only enter it when I actually lose weight. But it seems like I hold a weight for a period of time, then dump a bunch, then hold the next level then dump a bunch. I'm not trying to lose weight fast, I'm trying to lose it in a sustainable way. As I get fitter it seems like my weight loss has accelerated, probably because my cardiovascular fitness lets me go for 2 hour mountain bike rides daily now, where I was absolutely shattered after 30 minutes at the start.

My Graph

Does my graph look like yours? Or am I just subconsciously trying harder after I've been sick of seeing the same number for a period of time?

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