Hi everyone.
I am 23F and 5’5. 2 years ago I was at my highest weight of 175 lbs, and something in me just broke for me to lose weight and eat on a deficit. I was sick and tired of being fat heavy and looking awful in everything.
Currently now 134.4 lbs as of this morning. I still look at myself with such a high level of disgust, undesirable and that feeling of being unloveable.
Like the previous poster on here earlier, I too have never been in a relationship and have had any experience. I feel too ugly and ashamed of myself for dating apps and to upkeep a social media profile, so whenever I join I am quick to delete them and keep a no/low profile.
My goal weight is to get down to the 120s and maintain as I have been there before and felt physically lighter. Recently I have been feeling very tired, drained, no energy and just quite woozy which I guess makes sense being 15 lbs heavier than my goal.
Will it ever get better? When does the confidence start to come through? I’m considered “slim” but I just don’t see it, and feel I take up so much space and feel heavy, disgusted and overweight in my body.
I feel that society stares at me because of my body type and general shock as to how someone like me is a part of society. I have no social life, no friends and simply go to work and go home. I woke in a high paced customer environment though so get my socialising and social skills there, but feel hideous and like I just want to hide ):
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