I am out doing uber eats and went to use the bathroom.
I looked the mirror after washing my hands and saw myself and I thought "oh! Im not as big as i thought!" So i took a photo entirely of my back and of my side.
Going to be completely honest- I genuinely feel like I want to go back home and never come back out until I lose the weight again. I say again bc I lost 230 pounds over 3 yrs. I got several weight loss surgeries including a large penniculectomy, fleur de list, tummy tuck, and body contouring.
Not only am I ashamed of gaining the weight, I am insecure all over again when just 4 mos ago my body was perfect for the first time in my life. The added layer of disappointment comes from the fact that after losing it I may have ruined my tummy tuck.
My stomach is still flat but again... its 60 pounds were talking abt. I am also a very tall woman being 6'1 so that does work in my favor. Also being that most weight went below my waist.
I hate this.... I hate food addiction. I hate struggling with my weight. Im just so numb that I cant even be depressed bc im so numb.
I was supposed to visit a friend in another state and have a cute weekend of bar hopping but i'm staying home.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/EvVeJm7
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