My spouse is not supportive.

I need help with how to get my spouse to stop encouraging unhealthy eating.

I have told them several times that I am actively working on weight loss. I have made meals and snacks and buy groceries that are clearly to help me with better eating. Everytime they offer food, I tell them I'm not interested in what they are offering because I am trying to limit my sugars and carbs.

I am obese. My BMI is around 42. I'm not proud of it, but I mention it because I am clearly in need of change for my health. So it's not like I'm trying to cut down 5lbs or am already in decent health and can eat fast food sometimes. I need to lose around 100lbs. Bare minimum 30lbs to improve some health issues. I am an emotional eater and volume eater, and for me, I can't do the "moderation" thing right now because it's a slippery slope into over eating.

Yet...routinely they bring fast food home they bought themselves and got me some, too. Today, they bring home a quarter pounder, french fries, and a BAG of reese's - for me, they had their own food. And just set them in front of me like "I got you a surprise!" Even after they asked if I wanted anything and I said no, I already ate lunch. They reacted with sad face.

I'm not starving myself, I'm not unhappy with the healthy food I'm eating or complaining about it.

I just don't know how to make it sink in that I need their HELP and for them to stop trying to give me unhealthy food. Yes, I have explicitly said I NEED YOUR HELP WITH THIS. They don't care about their weight, they can eat whatever they want and don't gain weight. They aren't concerned about other health issues like heart health or cholesterol either, because I have suggested visited a doctor due to family history.

I really need suggestions if you've been in this situation and have been able to get support from your partner.

Other than throwing the french fries at them, I'm out of ideas (no I didn't throw them lol just in my mind).

I should also add that I don't think they are actively trying to sabotage me or acting with malice, I just don't think they understand just how important it is for me to lose weight based on health, not even looks. I weighed 65lbs less when we met, so it's not like they don't know what I'd look like or wouldn't be attracted to me.

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How did you overcome your "plateau"?

I lost about 40 lb last year last year, but unfortunately gained some of it back through COVID. I am back on my weight loss Journey again, and have achieved a weight which I significantly plateaued and then stalled at last year. I can't seem to beat this weight! interestingly it's just inside my healthy BMI range for me (which is great), but for health reasons I really want to reach my goal which is firmly inside the healthy BMI range.

Other people that encountered a significant plateau - did you change strategies? I'm wondering if I should switch from weighing myself to measuring my waist. I'm working out a bit more, but not real muscle mass building. I don't think I'm continuing to lose weight.

My weight loss strategy has largely been calorie counting (Mediterranean diet) and paying attention to macros (I'm not super serious about macros). Perhaps I should cut carbs completely or try intermittent fasting? These aren't things I would want to do long term, so the worry is if I do that when I reach my goal and then plan to sustain my new weight I will just add the weight back.

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Weekly Check-In #1: Today is the first day of my journey, and I'm excited.

You can see my post from last week here.

To sum it up, I'm very depressed and have had issues with food most of my life, and also with alcohol for as long as I've been drinking it. I really started packing on the pounds about two years ago when I experienced two traumatic events on the same day. I've been struggling this whole time and desperately want to change.

So, today is my first day of getting my weight under control and improving myself overall. I weighed myself this morning and came in at 160lbs. I know I have a long way to go to my old 118lbs, but I'm excited I'm finally taking some solid steps in the right direction to achieve it.

After weighing in this morning, I exercised (I do 50 reps with 7lb weights per arm, and 50 reps with 2lb ankle weights per leg). I'll be doing this three times a week. After I've lost enough weight that my knees aren't as strained, I might replace the leg exercises with a half mile jog three times a week. I love running and can't wait to be able to do it again without hurting.

I have myself at a 1,600 calorie per day goal right now. In the past, I've done 1,400 calories and, while the weight did come off fast, I found myself too stressed by this limit during the day and too hungry at the end of the day. I'm also trying to cook for myself more and eat less pre-packaged junk. I'm starting off with doing this once a week, and have already made a list for some ingredients which I'll be going on a nice walk tomorrow to get.

I won't be drinking alcohol for the next month. It's been one week since I drank, and my mind feels a bit clearer and my body doesn't feel as fatigued. I've done alcohol-free months in the past with good results, and I seem to lose weight a bit faster without it.

I also started CBT again today (specifically targeting perfectionism). I think one cause of my lack of motivation towards weight loss and overall betterment in the past has been caused by this. I'm scared of doing things wrong or experiencing setbacks so I don't want to do anything at all. I'll be doing one chapter out of the workbook every day, and I'm hoping I see results.

I'm happy I have a place to share my journey with you all. I said before I don't have a lot of support in real life which has definitely made things harder for me, so I'm honestly, truly thankful for this community. I'll keep checking in weekly to update you on my progress. I have a 4lb loss goal set to be reached by October 12th, so I hope to see myself at 159lbs by next Monday. See you then. :)

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Those who have fallen off the wagon and successfully got back on, how did you do it?

Hi all,

About 5 years ago I lost around 60lb. I'm sad to say I'm part of the statistic where within 5 years most of the weight has returned :(. There have been several times where I have gotten back on the wagon, lost about 10lb-20lb and then fell back off a few months later only to regain the weight I lost. I am really having trouble with holding myself accountable for what I am eating.

Does anyone have any suggestions as to how to get back in the habit of losing and also STAY in the habit? I've started taking daily walks but I know a huge part of weight loss is better eating/eating less. I also know exactly what I did to lose weight successfully last time, but I just can't seem to find it in me to do it again :(.

Any suggestions on how to stay motivated or support would be appreciated.

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Maintenance Monday: September 14, 2020

If you've reached your goal weight and you're looking for a space to discuss with fellow maintainers, this is the thread for you! Whether you're brand new to maintenance or you've been doing it for years, you're welcome to use this space to chat about anything and everything related to the experience of maintaining your weight loss.

Hey gang, here's your weekly discussion thread! Tell us how maintenance and life in general is going for you this week! And if you missed last week's (or simply want to reread), here's a link.

If there's a specific topic you'd like to see covered in a future thread, please drop a comment or message!

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Here’s what i’ve learned after three months of dieting and consistent exercise...

THIS IS FREAKING HARD!!!!!

I posted here probably like a month and a half ago saying I lost ten pounds...and since then that’s where I have stayed for the most part.

That isn’t my end goal but holy moly, is it hard to get passed it. I think when I got to the ten pounds lost I started to lose steam. I thought, well dang, if this came off so easily, then the rest of it will follow suit! WRONG! I started to get more lax in my eating, and not counting as often or just going over my calorie count and just saying eff it. I continued to fluctuate between ten and twelve pounds but constantly wondering why my weight would go back up. I was working out and getting better each session! Subconsciously I took that as a sign to eat junk ALL. THE. TIME.

Then yesterday it hit me, like really hit me, you’re not losing anymore because you’re continually eating like garbage again, and if you keep it up, you’ll lose all the progress you gained!!!!! So yesterday, I lowered my calories, just a bit, and stuck to them!! I won’t say I didn’t almost slip up like at least half a dozen times, because I did...BUT I still did it! I stayed under a lower calorie goal then previously and I didn’t wake up feeling bloated and gross from a ton of salt and gross junk food!

So I guess what the real meat of this is that i’ve learned weight loss truly is a journey. It’s not quick, it takes time. I have to give myself grace but also kick myself in the butt sometimes to keep going. Because I want to be healthy, and I want to not be scared to look at myself in the mirror or put the toilet seat up for fear of breaking the seat. So on days when you feel like you want to give up, DON’T. Don’t beat yourself up for slipping and having to start over again, because in reality we’re all struggling and it’s just plain hard, BUT YOU CAN DO THIS!

❤️

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My mom wants me to stop losing weight

I’m 18, and I used to be overweight (5’4>180>151) I still haven’t reached my goal as of yet because I wanna tone my stomach down and earn muscle fat. However, my mom seems to think that I’m becoming an anorexic and “too small.” Now keep this in mind-my mom lost weight in the past (not sure how much), but it was a lot. She gained a bit back, and I can tell she is trying to lose again. Anyway, like I mentioned, I used to be quite overweight, and intermittent fasting and diminished overeating has helped me greatly. My mom is a very very negative person. She won’t compliment me but she will point out the negative. When I started to lose weight, she said nothing about how I’m holding up. Last weekend I went to church and a church lady commented on my weight loss my stating how she preferred me bigger. Funny enough when I was overweight, so many people used to comment on it. I told my mom jokingly how people will never be satisfied with who you are. My mon took this to heart and went and told my family, and now they want to comment on how I look like a bird and how the weight loss doesn’t look good on me. Now my mom is telling me she’s the boss of this house and won’t allow me to get any slimmer. My goal weight is 140, with muscle mass, and I do believe I eat enough. I just think I live in a culture that is okay with unhealthy habits and overeating.

By the way, many of the clothes I have are very loose on me, and I haven’t bought anything new. This is probably why I appear too small.

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