FAT MENTALITY: The most important part of weight loss everyone forgets.

I am writing this because it is something that I've come to realize after years of weight loss. I rarely use reddit and made this account just to post this because i feel that it is so important. Some background: I'm a guy in my early 20's, I was overweight most of my childhood. If you're reading this you probably know how shitty it can be growing up as the fat kid in school; the teasing/lack of confidence can really weigh on you. After being fed up with my life for years, in late middle/early high school I started really trying hard to lose weight. Going from someone with no exercise to exercise and dieting, I started seeing results rapid results early on. But it was never enough, the more weight that I lost, the more that I started to critique small imperfections. This cycle continued for years, my weight fluctuated up and down and I continued to be insecure about it. This brings me to senior year of high school, while up to this point I probably wouldn't have been considered "obese" by any doctor, I still hated how I looked and I decided to really go hard in the gym during my wrestling season. I worked out for 2 hours a day, 6 days a week. My life during this time completely revolved around training. I started my senior year of high school at 5'11" 215-220 lbs, by the middle of the school year, I weighed around 180-185 a weight I hadn't been at since 7th grade. I was in the best shape I had ever been in and for some reason I just felt empty. I looked in the mirror and didn't know what I was staring at. I began to realize that losing weight was not an end-all-be-all to happiness in life and being fat is only a symptom of your life situation and not a cause. YOU CAN LOSE ALL THE WEIGHT IN THE WORLD AND STILL BE FAT IN YOUR HEAD. In school I might have seen a girl I wanted to talk to or ask out and the first thing that came to my mind was that I'm fat and have no chance, so I wouldn't even pursue. I thought if I lost weight it would fix several problems in all areas of my life and that is simply not the case. I had to fix the root of what made me overweight in the first place, food is an escape, its like a drug. When you're eating, it takes you away from the rest of the world for those few moments. Obviously, this makes you gain weight over time and does nothing to solve the problem. On the flip side, exercising can do the same thing, while this is a much healthier way of relieving stress, don't use it to shield away from confronting what you need to in life. You don't need to wait to lose weight to start loving yourself, you don't need to wait to lose weight to be happy. And actually if you drop the fat mindset it will make your journey of losing weight much easier. Why do you eat? What are you trying to escape from? Look your demons straight in the face, don't trade an addiction to food with an addiction to losing weight. Don't put off important things you need to face until after you lose the weight. Sorry this is so long, just hoping even one person can read this and benefit from it.

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My best friend isn't able to escape obesity despite the efforts.

She's 21 and always had problems with her obesity and long as I knew her. She's 5'6, and assumably at around 190-210lbs. I never thought she ate enough to be obese to begin with, but she gains weight at an extreme rate if she doesn't watch what she eats. Ever since she opened up to me about this issue, she's been exercising 6 days a week (weights and running for at least 1 hour), has switched to a full salad diet with no meat, heavy dressings, croutons, cheese, etc. Straight veggies and light dressing. Almost completely eliminated eating from restaurants and she does not ever eat more than 2 salads a day. It's been about 3 months of this routine and she's maybe lost 10 pounds based off her physique.

As someone who lost weight in the past just by cutting down meals and going on walks every evening, I'm frustrated for her. Just based off of what she's doing, I just can't wrap my head around how she can retain all her body fat, let alone gain. She believes its largely genetics as her dad was also obese, along with her mother who was a big woman.

Assuming that she's not blatantly lying about everything she's doing for the weight loss, has anyone met/know anyone else going through similar struggles? Concerns for medical conditions were raised and she will be seeing a doctor for it. I feel bad for her because she hangs out with friends who eat 2-3 times the calories as her, but they're all 2-3 times smaller than her.

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I’m finally realising how much harder weight loss is for some people.

Stats: 5’8”F, SW:207, CW: 163, GW: 140

I started losing in mid February because I’d realised quite how overweight I had become, and I was wearing a UK size eighteen. I live alone in my own apartment and I have a kitchen to myself and full control over what I buy, what goes in the cupboards, etc.

I found it surprisingly easy. I counted calories to 1500 a day, I cooked loads, and started to incorporate some exercise, finally taking up running once I hit a healthy BMI and knew I wouldn’t be putting too much strain on my knees. I lost 40lbs in just over three months.

And then, I moved to my parents’ for a month during quarantine, to have someone to be with. I still tried to count calories. I still cooked. I took up running and began running 30mins a day. And despite all that, I plateaued. Couldn’t break 170. Then I gained two pounds. Then I got sick, and lost it again. After a while, I realised: the reason weight loss had been so easy up until that point for me was because I had the ability to be self-centred, in a way. I could focus on every nutrient, every calorie that was going in my food. I could eat whatever size meal, whenever I wanted, so some days I could ‘save up’ calories and have a big dinner. At my parents’, that all changed. Suddenly I was cooking for five people, including three big, hungry men. Suddenly, I didn’t know if my mum had added a couple of tbsp of oil into my salad without me noticing. Suddenly, there was a lot more food around. And it was so much harder. Suddenly, I had to have three ‘proper’ meals a day, so I couldn’t have a snacky lunch and a big dinner. And it turns out you can’t cook an egg on toast for a big hungry Greek man for his lunch.

All of this is to say that I think people like me need to understand that in a perfect world, weight loss IS easy: just count and see the scale go down. However, so many have complicated family lives: kids, overweight parents who don’t eat well, university or school cafeterias to contend with, less money to buy healthier food, etc. And this DOES make it so much harder. I can’t imagine how frustrating trying to lose weight must be if you’re young and your parents cook unhealthy food for you. I remember from my time at boarding school (picture a hogwarts feast! Jk, but there was a LOT of stodgy British food) how hard I tried and how it didn’t work. I’m sure this isn’t exactly a new revelation to most people. But I need to try to be kind, and thankful for the control I have.

Eventually I did manage to lose some weight at my parents’, 7lbs. But it was SO MUCH HARDER. So to anyone living in situations where it’s hard to lose weight, you are amazing. You can do this. Have conversations about why you’re doing this, and how. Portion size is king. Above all, though, I’m so so proud of you, and it took a weird quarantine time in a home I haven’t lived in for ten years for me to see that.

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Stuck at a weight loss plateau for nearly 4 weeks - help!

Hi so I’m a 15F and I’ve been trying to lose weight since the end of February. I’m 5”6 and my starting weight was 172 lbs.

Throughout my whole journey so far, my caloric deficit has ranged from 1300-1600 kcal and the exercises which I did - five days a week - were running at 7.5 mph for 30 seconds, resting for 30 seconds, and repeating until I reached 2 miles on the treadmill. This, followed by my last part of the workout which was 200 jumping jacks.

I’ve successfully lost 20 pounds - losing about 3 pounds a week consistently - but now I have hit a plateau for nearly four weeks. The halt in my weight loss became apparent when my parents bought a new weighing scale, and my weight would remain at 150-153 lbs despite monitoring my calories precisely and staying at a caloric deficit for all days of the week.

I even once had a cheat day (which keep in mind was an absolute max of like 2300 kcal), trying to relieve myself from the plateau I’ve hit - and my weight of usually 150 lbs skyrocketed to 155 lbs the next day!

Part of me thinks I’m not actually able to lose weight anymore and it’s killing me because I still have 20 or so more pounds to lose. I have no idea why I still can’t lose weight after even changing up my workouts and the foods that I eat.

What am I doing wrong?

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Day 1? Starting your weight loss journey on Monday, 22 June 2020? Start here!

Today is your Day 1?

Welcome to r/Loseit!

So you aren’t sure of how to start? Don’t worry! “How do I get started?” is our most asked question. r/Loseit has helped our users lose over 1,000,000 recorded pounds and these are the steps that we’ve found most useful for getting started.

Why you’re overweight

Our bodies are amazing (yes, yours too!). In order to survive before supermarkets, we had to be able to store energy to get us through lean times, we store this energy as adipose fat tissue. If you put more energy into your body than it needs, it stores it, for (potential) later use. When you put in less than it needs, it uses the stored energy. The more energy you have stored, the more overweight you are. The trick is to get your body to use the stored energy, which can only be done if you give it less energy than it needs, consistently.

Before You Start

The very first step is calculating your calorie needs. You can do that HERE. This will give you an approximation of your calorie needs for the day. The next step is to figure how quickly you want to lose the fat. One pound of fat is equal to 3500 calories. So to lose 1 pound of fat per week you will need to consume 500 calories less than your TDEE (daily calorie needs from the link above). 750 calories less will result in 1.5 pounds and 1000 calories is an aggressive 2 pounds per week.

Tracking

Here is where it begins to resemble work. The most efficient way to lose the weight you desire is to track your calorie intake. This has gotten much simpler over the years and today it can be done right from your smartphone or computer. r/loseit recommends an app like MyFitnessPal, Loseit! (unaffiliated), or Cronometer. Create an account and be honest with it about your current stats, activities, and goals. This is your tracker and no one else needs to see it so don’t cheat the numbers. You’ll find large user created databases that make logging and tracking your food and drinks easy with just the tap of the screen or the push of a button. We also highly recommend the use of a digital kitchen scale for accuracy. Knowing how much of what you're eating is more important than what you're eating. Why? This may explain it.

Creating Your Deficit

How do you create a deficit? This is up to you. r/loseit has a few recommendations but ultimately that decision is yours. There is no perfect diet for everyone. There is a perfect diet for you and you can create it. You can eat less of exactly what you eat now. If you like pizza you can have pizza. Have 2 slices instead of 4. You can try lower calorie replacements for calorie dense foods. Some of the communities favorites are cauliflower rice, zucchini noodles, spaghetti squash in place of their more calorie rich cousins. If it appeals to you an entire dietary change like Keto, Paleo, Vegetarian.

The most important thing to remember is that this selection of foods works for you. Sustainability is the key to long term weight management success. If you hate what you’re eating you won’t stick to it.

Exercise

Is NOT mandatory. You can lose fat and create a deficit through diet alone. There is no requirement of exercise to lose weight.

It has it’s own benefits though. You will burn extra calories. Exercise is shown to be beneficial to mental health and creates an endorphin rush as well. It makes people feel awesome and has been linked to higher rates of long term success when physical activity is included in lifestyle changes.

Crawl, Walk, Run

It can seem like one needs to make a 180 degree course correction to find success. That isn’t necessarily true. Many of our users find that creating small initial changes that build a foundation allows them to progress forward in even, sustained, increments.

Acceptance

You will struggle. We have all struggled. This is natural. There is no tip or trick to get through this though. We encourage you to recognize why you are struggling and forgive yourself for whatever reason that may be. If you overindulged at your last meal that is ok. You can resolve to make the next meal better.

Do not let the pursuit of perfect get in the way of progress. We don’t need perfect. We just want better.

Additional resources

Now you’re ready to do this. Here are more details, that may help you refine your plan.

• Quick Start Guide - Build your foundation!
• Loseit Compendium - Frame it out!
• FAQ - Answers to our most Frequently Asked Questions!

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I’m gonna gain it all back.

That’s what my sister told me, “you’re gonna gain it all back.”

A bit of backstory with both of us, we’ve had problems with our weight all our lives. She’s been the skinny one for so many years and developed an eating disorder and now she gets big then small and her weight fluctuates a lot. I was always the fat one. But now I’ve been taking my weight loss seriously and lost about 20 pounds so far. (Since March) and I finally told someone about it (my sister) and she said “you definitely didn’t lose that much” I then went on mfp and showed her my weight progress. (I get that it’s hard to see cuz I’m 5’7) but I DID lose weight. I was pissed but I looked over this.

I then told her my dream of going to rottnest island in a bikini with my goal weight of 65 KG and she fucking laughed. She laughed at me wearing a bikini. I told her with my height it’ll look good. She then asked me how many calories was I eating and I said 1400 a day and she said “oh then your definitely gonna gain it back. It isn’t sustainable ” And that’s when I got PISSED. YES IT ISNT SUSTAINABLE BUT ITS A DEFICIT FOR NOW WHEN I GET TO MY GOAL WEIGHT ILL EAT AT MAINTENANCE?!? I said “my TDEE is 1900 so I’m eating at a 500 deficit which is safe.” Then she asked what was a TDEE and that’s when I said “exactly you don’t know! You don’t do your research.” then I walked off I was fuming and now I’m writing this post.

AITA? I know this isn’t the subreddit, it’s just that I’ve been working so fucking hard at this and she said that I was gonna gain it all back she didn’t even fucking acknowledge my weight loss or ANYTHING. I’m trying my best and this just has me rly down (PLUS, i’ve been really tough for my weightloss these past few days and I just feel so defeated.) dKshebsysvw I’m just so-

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I’m lonely and I miss sex (weight loss vent)

So I’ve lost 25 pounds since May 3 but I’m still fat. When I’m skinny I’m hot. I’m still pretty now, but because I’m fat I don’t get any attention. Since I lost the 25 pounds I decided to try my hand at online dating again. No luck. No one wants to talk to me. Man. I know I’m going to be more attractive as the weight comes off but I’ve been single now almost two years and I get so fucking lonely sometimes I don’t know what to do with myself. I wish I could lose this weight faster. I just want to be touched again, you know? Sort for the rant but goddamn it sucks being fat. I’m trying so hard to fix myself but I know it’s going to take a while and in the meantime some nights I’m so lonely I cry myself to sleep. I feel like I’ll always be disgusting, alone and unwanted.

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