I want to lose 25 pounds but I just feel I’m always getting in my own way.

I’m 5’7 and 175

So for the last 3 years I’ve been trying to lose 25-30 pounds. My biggest issues are snacking and hurting myself in the gym because my body is ridiculous.

I’m paying $240 a month for this weight loss program. They’ve given me work outs to do each week, I talk to a coach, they give me meal ideas.

It’s walking 10,000 steps daily, gym 4x a week. 2 lower, 1 upper and 1 full day. My macros are 168g protein 154g carbs 52g of fat.

I don’t hit my 10,000 steps every day. I sometimes make it to the gym 3x instead of 4x. I have gained 3 pounds in 7 weeks since starting this program. And I’m insanely frustrated because I’m paying so much money a month just to gain weight. Is it because I missed a day? Is it because I had a couple of chips during the day and went over my macros? Is it because I forgot add it to my fitness pal? If it has to be total perfection to lose this weight then how the hell am I going to do this? Is there any room for balance at all or is it totally strict?

I’m frustrated and yes. I know I’m getting in my own way. I’m complaining. I’m not putting in the work each and every single day but I’m trying. I’m going to the gym more than I ever have. I’m walking more than I ever have. I’m meal prepping.

I’m just frustrated and I want this weight gone.

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Adherence and relapse

I think almost everyone who is subbed here has tried to lose weight before. This is our 4th, 5th, 10th, 20th attempt. Skimming new posts, a huge number are referencing how disgusting they feel because they've regained weight, had a cheat day that turned into a cheat month, etc. Most of these posters will overtly mention depression, revulsion at their behavior, or be generally self-flagellating.

Its important for everyone to step back and understand what weight loss is. At its core, weight loss is the byproduct of adopting new behaviors. Generally, this is eating healthier and exercising more. These are vague behaviors though. They have to be broken down further. Eating healthier is full of discrete steps, such as eating 5+ servings of fruits and vegetables, maintaining macros consistent with your other goals, counting calories/measuring food, cooking at home to control salt intake, avoiding derailing foods like office donuts, cake parties, really calorie dense restaurant meals. More exercise follows the same pattern. It simply means moving more, but it could be committing to outdoor walks, maintaining a strength training regimen, stretching more, playing organized sports, and so on.

Each one of these behaviors requires the formation of a new habit, and new habits dont form overnight, nor do they form smoothly. If you set out to walk one mile each morning, this is a goal to which you can adhere. You'll likely adhere to it for a week, but relapse and stop walking for the next three weeks. Now you beat yourself up, come back in a month and recommit. This time you walk for two weeks before relapsing to a sedentary lifestyle. You beat yourself up again because why can't you just stick with this??? You try again. This time you walk every day for three weeks straight before relapsing and skipping every walk for a full week. You beat yourself up one more time.

What actually happened was your rate of adherence to relapse went from 25% to 50% to 75%. You got better each time, and youre on your way to forming a healthy habit. When we try to adopt healthier lifestyles, we often find some things easier to adhere to than others. If you find yourself down, think about each micro habit that youre trying to form. Which ones are you dialed in on? Which ones are struggles? Focus on progress from all fronts and not just "I'm not losing weight therefore I'm bad". Each new attempt is a sprint, but the journey is a marathon.

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Another update because I share minimally in RL and need to get it out of my system occasionally

I'm down at least 25 pounds from the highest weight I can recall (188 ish), maybe a little more (DID I ever see 190 plus on the scale?!) . I'm only 10 pounds down (from 172, which was partially due to loss of appetite from anxiety) since I started getting serious about losing fat and gaining health in January. Which can sound discouraging on its own, but if I take all metrics into account, it feels like real progress. 25lbs down overall. 4+ inches lost in bust, waist, and hips measurements, separately. Dropping sizes. Better fitness and endurance. Beginning to see some toning/muscle definition.

I do still have days where my body is just UNCOMFORTABLE. Sometimes it's tied to having eaten junk, sometimes it's due to my cycle, and sometimes it just IS. And I hate it, but it shows me that that isn't just tied to what my weight was before. It'll probably always be a thing that happens sometimes, so I need to learn how to handle that without it making me spiral. Bodies are weird. And sometimes I look at my side profile and genuinely believe I look bigger than I did before I lost weight. What's up with that??

And funny enough, all of my jeans being too loose due to weight loss isn't always as inspiring and motivating as you would think. Turns out, clothes not fitting my body is uncomfortable no matter what. So I shelled out for jeans 1 size down (and they fit AMAZING!) even though I know I'm on track to be 2 sizes down soon and will have to start over again with new sizes (I mean, Yay!). I decided my physical comfort was worth the pinch in my wallet.

So yea. Even the good parts can be hard and confusing, and I'm trying to be neutral about it. It's still just a body. And while I'm working on changing my life permanently, there's more to life than my eating habits and exercise. Also, changing my Daily Calorie intake from 1,500 to 1,700 might slow my progress, but it's been such a relief!!! I stress less (I also feel like I can then track less because I'm getting the hang of guesstimating somewhat and I've got more breathing room, and it feels like I'm on a path to less tracking without losing progress).

Thanks for letting me get that out, as messy as it was.

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Whew, this is rough.

I'm doing a liver shrinking diet because I was supposed to get gastric sleeve surgery in a few weeks. However, my kidney function is too low (49) to safely handle the surgery right now. So, I was going to keep on the liver shrinking diet for a few weeks anyway just to see if I could do it. The problem is, I keep going WAY over my protein limit. The nephrologist wants me to do 120g of protein a day and mine has been between 170-190g on the liver shrinking diet.

Is there any way to stay full on a low-cal/low-fat/low-carb diet without going over 120g protein?

I am starting a GLP-1 through Joult soon, but I really want to figure out a healthy way to eat in the meantime that will both protect my kidneys and promote weight loss, without leaving me exhausted.

Yes I've talked to all of my doctors. So far no real concrete answers. Posting here is a last resort. Thank you.

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Struggling to hit protein goal on a deficit

I find it really difficult to hit the protein goal for my weight, ive heard that its usually 2g/kg so Im pretty overweight at 82kg and I usually get around 80-100g if I really focus on protein foods , however its still not 160g does it matter THAT much really? Im also on a deficit as I'm trying to do body recomp my maintenance is 2400 and I'm aiming for 1600/1700 however protein powder I can find is like 200 cals a serving and even if I try my best im still looking at the 9pm on the clock and the 60g of protein left, 20cals left and want to give up haha, can anyone relate?

( ps. Im a 17yr old girl thats a newbie to gym and healthy weight loss methods and I go to the gym 3/4 times a week doing weights and cardio if it matters)

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found out the medication i thought was helping me was harming me all along

I have a history of mental health disorders so for that I obviously seek treatment. Ever since I was little, i’ve had trouble with emotional eating and binge eating after growing up in a really traumatic childhood. my weight was always a topic of discussion among doctors but the only doctor that i was comfortable really discussing the stress it brought me was my psych doctors. after asking over and over again that whatever medication i was recommended to try be weight neutral, i was finally prescribed my little cocktail lol. 3 years later I didn’t know i’d still be shaking my head at this decision while im on the stairmaster fighting for my life. I was put on Mirtazapine. Sounds harmless right? Wrong :/ I ended up gaining about 130 pounds and saw no end in sight before I finally ended up stopping. I was constantly being told that it wasn’t the medication and it was just my depression which would cause the medication dose to be upped. WELLLL, fast forward to 2025. I’m innocently scrolling on tiktok and I come across a post about a girl in recovery from an eating disorder. Her story touched me and as I was reading the comments I noticed people were asking her how she was able to gain all her healthy weight back. her answer? MIRTAZAPINE :( . the second i saw that my heart sank. i clicked on the comments and it was revealed to me that apparently this is extremely common? all of these girls are saying they were prescribed it specifically for weight gain and appetite stimulation and i’m just completely floored. the amount of times i spent sobbing in that room only to walk out with a medicine that makes everything worse ugh. there is a NSV to this story though- if i would’ve seen this a month or even a year into my weight loss journey i would’ve felt so discouraged and thrown myself a pity party, i probably would’ve ate myself to another 50 pounds. but today I weighed in at 224. i’ve lost over 140 pounds by myself and im only about 40 away from my goal. this is truly the time im doing it for me!! I’m supposed to hit my goal a week before my 26th birthday. it was a shock to read that and see my doctor wasn’t fully truthful but it’s nice to see how my way of thinking has changed through this whole journey and suddenly setbacks don’t seem that big when i know all i have to do is follow the formula

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What are your fitness/weight loss hot takes?

I'm just curious to see what people unpopular thoughts are when it comes to weight loss/fitness.

I'll start.

My hot take is that BMI is a horrible tool for tracking health. According to the BMI scale I've been overweight since I was a freshman in high school. The thing is in high school I was always working out and lifting weights. So even though I (F) was 5’7 and 165 pounds, I had a lot of muscle mass with some vanity pounds.

BMI doesn't take into consideration muscle mass, bone density, or the way out bodies are built. Its just takes out height and our weight and puts it into a formula.

So what's your guy’s hot takes?

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