I don't know what to do anymore

I will try to make this short. I was overweight in high school, lost about 30 pounds of weight to join the military. The military kept me pretty thin over the 9 years I was active duty because I was CONSTANTLY moving. Deployments made all of us shed fat like crazy even when we weren't trying. But the lifestyle change hit me hard. I got out of the military January 2021, but when the pandemic hit I went from about 165-195 fairly quick. Initially when I got out I was still maintaining 195 pounds. Mind you, I am 5'6' so at this point I am feeling pretty heavy for what I am use to.

Earlier this year in 2022, I lost the weight and got down to about 172....well guess who gained it back?! I am at 195 again (or even over). But my heart/mind is so over it. "I keep thinking just BE PATIENT with yourself, you did it many times and you can do it again!". I was so into fitness and being thin in the military, it was truly like my identity. I have lost that. I thought I lost it when I became a mom, but I lost all that pregnancy weight too and got into powerlifting. I ALWAYS picked myself back up.

....except now I feel like the fire has gone out. It has truly gone out. Since I have been out of the military I have felt so isolated. Completely alone. My mental health is absolute shit. I just don't have the fire or drive I use to have for ANYTHING... let alone weight loss. I am so afraid I will just keep losing the weight to gain it again. I keep thinking, what's the point?

People tell you "JUST DONT GIVE UP"...but when you have transformed so many times you get to a point where you feel like you have lost an even greater battle. Someone, anyone...just help me get out of my head. Help me get my life back.

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I've lost 50 pounds to finally be under 300!

I don't have anyone to share this with, so forgive the life story. I just had to write this out. Maybe someone else will connect with it? Sorry about the length and lack of concrete meaning behind it.

I've been constantly gaining weight my entire life, besides a brief stint in high school with extreme cases of strep (basically couldn't eat for months and lost about 30 pounds). Otherwise it's been constant due to never learning appropriate eating habits until I made it all the way up to 350 pounds. I couldn't want more than a few hundred steps without having to stop and take a breath, I needed seatbelt extenders to fly on a plane, sitting on my desk chair (instead of a well cushioned couch or recliner) for too long would hurt my tailbone, and looking in the mirror disgusted me so much that I stopped doing it except to look at specific features (like making sure hair is not too messy or my tie was straight, things like that), ignoring the bigger picture of how I looked as a whole.

At the beginning of August, I moved to a place very high in elevation so even for those in shape, it's noticeably harder to breath and for someone as out of shape as me, I could barely walk 10 steps without having breathing difficulties. It was what finally provided the impetus to change. When my household goods arrived, 2 days after my 28th birthday, I used the scale and saw I hit 350 pounds. I didn't make any significant changes for a few weeks, but just the increased activity from unpacking and rearranging everything brought me down to 345 at the end of August, where I started my weight loss journey in earnest.

I started tracking the calories I'm consuming (got a kitchen scale and everything, surprisingly nice!), going on walks, and more than anything, developing a healthier relationship with food (not eating because of boredom, eating until I'm satisfied not stuffed, etc.). There's still a lot to go and I know at some point I'm going to have to start working out in earnest and eat even healthier, but you have to start from somewhere.

My goal is to not be overweight by my 30th birthday, 189 pounds. Losing 161 pounds in 2 years, from the initial weigh-in. It's so daunting, but as of this morning, I'm at 299 pounds. Being almost a third of the way there already after just a few months is a pretty great feeling.

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My parents confronted me about my weight gain but I already started my health journey a month ago. Even when I AM trying to be healthier, they judged me because I’m still fat.

Disclaimer: I’m not one of those people that have a non-repairable or toxic relationship with my parents. Just came to vent tbh.

I (F, 25, 5’4”) am started off at 289 lbs. have a goal of losing 115 lbs. i lost 30 lbs, then I got stagnant/became lazy and I gained 25 lbs back…ugh! So now, i’m trying make myself more disciplined and have more control over my schedule. So as of late, I got myself back together and from Nov 1st to now, I lost 7 lbs! I am now 282 lbs. I’ve been keeping my health journey to myself though. I haven’t told anyone, not even my parents.

So, earlier last week my mom confronted me that she’s concerned because I picked up some weight after I was pretty consistent with my weight loss before. She talked about how she is genuinely concerned for my health. We sat down and talked about it. She offered lots of options, such as paying for personal training and other things. I declined because I informed her that I have my own workout regimen and I’ve lost 7 pounds so far, and I don’t need a personal trainer.

Then, a day after I saw my dad on thanksgiving, he called me to ask if I could come over his place so we could have an “important conversation”. He then. I came over, and then we had a long conversation, and he also explained to me about how he’s concerned about my health as well because of my weight gain (don’t worry, he did it with a lot of tact and grace. His approach was really respectful). He also offered to start working out with me and offered me a gym membership as well so we can go to the gym together. Once again, I told him no, because I informed him that I have my own workout regimen and how I’ve lost 7 pounds so far. Also, i explained how I have a treadmill and weights in my house. And my job came with a gym membership so sometimes I already workout after work, if I didn’t already workout in the morning.

I totally understand my parents concern. I mean at the end of the day, if you clearly see that your child is unhealthy, then of course you’re going to be concerned and do everything you can to try to see if you can rectify the situation before it spirals into worse health issues.

But still, it just kind of sucks. Because I am being more healthy and I am losing weight, and I’ve been doing that for about a month now. It’s just that the weight that I have lost isn’t noticeable so far because it’s only 7 pounds. But still, despite all of my hard work and efforts from November 1st up until today, I’m still getting bombarded by my parents about how much weight I’ve gained. Despite the fact that I restarted my health journey on November 1, I’m still getting called out by them for how much weight I’m getting. After I told him that I already started my health journey again, and I lost 7 pounds, they responded with all positive feedback, and we’re saying things like “great! That’s so awesome! I’m so proud of you! Keep it up!”. And that’s all totally great and I’m really happy that they encourage me and support my journey.

But still. It sucks that they think that I’m not being healthy, just because I’m still fat overall, and my weight loss isn’t noticeable yet. Like that really hurt.

Just wanted to vent.

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So close to the finish line!

I’m 31F and 5’ 10”.

I started my weight loss journey in 2019. I weighed in at over 320 pounds and was miserable. After being overweight my whole life, I knew I needed to make a change. Through diet and low intensity exercise, I was able to lose about 140 pounds over 2 years. It was mostly CICO and low sodium, low sugar, low dairy, low carb (low fun ha!). I needed to transfer my emotional eating to something else, and some days I still really struggle with that.

I was able to get down to 175 pounds in April of this year through more diet and exercise. My ultimate goal is 173 pounds. My dream is to be a “healthy” BMI even if that’s not necessarily the perfect weight for my body. Still working through that.

After getting to 175, I gained weight due to an unhealthy relationship and went back up to 196. I have been able to use Heather Robertson’s programs along with cutting calories to make it back down to 186-188.

I am SO close to my goal weight, but it’s hard to not get discouraged when the weight doesn’t fall right off like it did when I first started my weight loss journey. What keeps you motivated so close to the finish line? If you are like me and struggle with being hyperfocused on a perhaps unattainable weight (my body loves being at 182 and not going lower) what have you been able to do to break that thought process?

Thanks in advance for your advice!

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Fasting has crippled my mental health.

My weight loss journey has two phases. First off what was phase one? Phase one was great. The beginning of my “serious” weight loss journey. Serious because it’s the time when i was the most motivated and the time when I saw the most results. But also the time when I cried the most and I was constantly hungry.

There are a myriad of ways to lose weight and I choose fasting because it’s the one I hadn’t really tried in my seven years of yo-yo dieting and to my surprise it worked wonders. I started losing weight pretty decently but soon enough I realized something: Extended fasting was making my binging WORSE! “Oh it’s ok I can finish this whole loaf of bread I’ll just do a two day fast”, “God I’m so full! But I have to finish my food because my fast starts tomorrow!”, “oh I can’t buy the small size of this cookie it HAS to be the jumbo size after all I don’t even eat everyday.”

On and on like that and the crazy thing is? it worked! I was literally eating my cake and having it. That was until it didn’t. I had gotten to the point where unless I was only eating three days a week there was no way for me to lose anymore weight. The moment I reached the 180’s from the 240’s I hit the biggest plateau yet. And of corse I just fasted more and binged more and fasted more it was crazy, it was crippling my mental health and of course the scale didn’t budge.

I took a maintenance break and went at it again but same thing so the same results. I was in denial. I refused to admit that my binging was out of control because in my eyes fasting is the GOD of weight loss and anyone on their weight loss journey who is not fasting is simply…wrong. I cried and cried battling with self harm thoughts I almost resigned to the fact that I would never be a healthy weight in this lifetime.

Until I woke up.

It was painful to realize it but I had to. I am a chronic binge eater. And fasting as wonderful as it maybe is simply not for me. I have to learn how to eat in moderation. I can no longer live as I used to. I have to become more active and mindful. I have to track and track. I have to, otherwise I’ll be stuck in this body forever and don’t get me wrong this is a pretty hot body but I certainly think it could be much hotter and of course healthier.

So today phase two begins: if I can do a seven day fast I can track my fucking calories. Period.

Thank you for coming to my Ted talk.

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discouraged weight loss journey + spousal body shaming

i’ve been working out so much (1 hour a day, 5 days a week at 5:30am) and eating so healthy postpartum for 3 months only to lose 10 pounds.

i’m trying to see a hormone special before the holidays because i think it may be related to why i’ve been so slow to lose weight.

i feel so bad about myself and hate how i look from every angle. today i was sitting slumped on the coach, just resting the day after thanksgiving and my spouse randomly reached out and pushed the fat under my chin deep in my neck as if he was examining me. he said absolutely nothing but it was obvious he was seeing what i looked like without chin fat.

he didn’t have to say any words for me to feel extremely uncomfortable and also really hurt and ashamed of my body.

it’s messed up because I gained almost 70 pounds during my pregnancy and i’m only a few months postpartum. i thought he would be more understanding. honestly no one has made me feel uglier than my husband did during my pregnancy and now postpartum but that’s a story for another day.

it just really sucks for your whole body to change, to struggle to bring your normal body “back”, and for my spouse to constantly make me feel really ugly.

i didn’t even know what to say to him. i think i said something like why are you doing that and his response was “what, i’m you’re partner?”

like wtf? it felt a lot like body shaming and then gaslighting.

i’m so tired of feeling ugly and feeling like my spouse thinks i’m ugly. i looked into “elite body sculpture” mommy makeover and it’s so expensive.

i wish there was just a magic pill to take all the fat out of your body.

anyways i am just venting out but if anyone has tips about how to lose weight fast please lmk :(

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Graph of daily weight loss of 30 lbs over 5 months

When I wanted to lose weight, I've decided to weight myself everyday and write down the number so I can plot it to visualize how my bodyweight fluctuates under a calorie deficit. You can find it here:

https://imgur.com/a/BJq6h2W

The spikes in the data indicate a cheat meal of some sort, and there are certain days I didn't log my weight since I was on vacation and I didn't strictly adhere to my diet (I had a lots of beer, but I ate salads otherwise). You can see that occasional cheat meals only have temporary weight gain due to water.

You can also see the slope starts off steep and over time starts to flatten out, indicating I'm losing weight at a much slower pace. If it slows down more than what's shown towards the end of the graph, I might have to switch from intermittent fasting to a stricter calories in, calories out approach.

Finally, you can see the plateaus and you can get an idea of how long they last. These are frustrating, especially the one starting at day 120.

I hope this gives some people some feel for what to expect regarding daily weight fluctuations and plateaus. I found this exercise very informative. I'll probably post again when I hit my goal weight of 165 lbs.

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