I will try to make this short. I was overweight in high school, lost about 30 pounds of weight to join the military. The military kept me pretty thin over the 9 years I was active duty because I was CONSTANTLY moving. Deployments made all of us shed fat like crazy even when we weren't trying. But the lifestyle change hit me hard. I got out of the military January 2021, but when the pandemic hit I went from about 165-195 fairly quick. Initially when I got out I was still maintaining 195 pounds. Mind you, I am 5'6' so at this point I am feeling pretty heavy for what I am use to.
Earlier this year in 2022, I lost the weight and got down to about 172....well guess who gained it back?! I am at 195 again (or even over). But my heart/mind is so over it. "I keep thinking just BE PATIENT with yourself, you did it many times and you can do it again!". I was so into fitness and being thin in the military, it was truly like my identity. I have lost that. I thought I lost it when I became a mom, but I lost all that pregnancy weight too and got into powerlifting. I ALWAYS picked myself back up.
....except now I feel like the fire has gone out. It has truly gone out. Since I have been out of the military I have felt so isolated. Completely alone. My mental health is absolute shit. I just don't have the fire or drive I use to have for ANYTHING... let alone weight loss. I am so afraid I will just keep losing the weight to gain it again. I keep thinking, what's the point?
People tell you "JUST DONT GIVE UP"...but when you have transformed so many times you get to a point where you feel like you have lost an even greater battle. Someone, anyone...just help me get out of my head. Help me get my life back.
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