Some background, if appropriate: I am 5'2 and just under 180lbs. I've been unhappy with my weight for several years now, just on an aesthetic basis. Over the past decade, my weight has increased by about 60lbs, bringing me from a healthy to an unhealthy BMI, and a change of 4 dress sizes, all this despite no real changes to my diet as far as I can tell. I don't eat super healthy, but I never have. Not like junky food, just not really paying attention to quality or amount. I'm also pretty picky, but have been trying to overcome that in the past 2 or so years.
I don't have any real distinctive food patterns-- sometimes I'll eat what is probably intended to be a multiple-serving's worth of takeout in one sitting, sometimes I eat two cheese sticks, rarely I will manage three meals a day. I don't enjoy cooking so I never really learned. My issue isn't satiety, it's just that my actions regarding when, what, and how much I eat are erratic and aimless. When I know I am doing something "wrong," I can't bring myself to care. I have a similar relationship to exercise in that I used to be a dedicated crossfitter, I stopped during the pandemic, never went back, now I live in a bike-friendly city and take advantage of that sporadically, but I'm not pushing myself. I know I'm not. Rambled a bit here, and I'm in therapy for this stuff. Moving on.
Pertinent to the the title: Anyway, for the past 4 or so years, I've started to become really unhappy and self-conscious about the way I look (the number itself doesn't bother me one way or another). I haven't been terribly proactive about it, just kind of been wallowing, wondering why I'm not addressing this issue. Sometimes I get frustrated and wonder what has to happen, how bad it has to get, before I kick my ass into gear. Well, I had a doctor's appointment last week and they took some blood tests. The results are concerning, but it's likely they won't require any further intervention aside from weight loss. I knew I was overweight, but I didn't realize I was dangerously so. I'm scared and angry and disappointed and a lot of other things.
Coming up next/community input: I've set up a spreadsheet to track my calories and macros. I've been trying to fill it out every day, I guess/hope it'll become habit. Even if I don't meet my daily goals, just filling it in should be an ok start, yes? I'm afraid to go too deep into tracking behavior as I have a history of OCD, so I'm really just focusing on protein intake and CICO at this point; that makes the most sense to me. I was planning on just filling that out and getting used to that behavior and tracking how my clothes feel from there; unsure if it'll be healthy for me to get a scale due to potential obsessive behavior, but I guess I can take progress pictures too? For those who have been lost in a similar way when starting, will that approach be alright for me? I'm trying to eat between 1100-1300 calories a day, and avoid eating over 1500 calories.
In closing: Not 100% sure what I'm trying to get out of posting this. I don't want to give excuses or explanations for why my discipline seems to be so low, or why I don't exercise as much as I should, or whatever. I just want to put it out into the universe that I am trying to try, and I hope something comes of it. I'm sure there are 3 zillion posts a day asking for general advice, that's not necessarily what I need, but I just want to say it aloud that I want to commit to starting.
ETA for formatting and some quantitative details. If you made it this far, thanks for listening to lil (big???) ol' me.
[link] [comments]
from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/q1tSMsW
