I feel like its impossible for me to lose weight. I am at the heaviest ive ever been and just got done with a 9 month program where I had a personal coach, she made me exercises and food plan. I was in a reverse diet for about 4 months, and ended up losing about 5 pounds because I was working out 5 days a week and walking when I could. I did go through some body recomp. I was so excited to go into a deficit. I only lost maybe another 5 pounds for the rest of the program. Was working out, but really struggles with hitting my cals every day. I would say I was in my deficit for maybe 70% of the days, and when I wasn’t, I was never so far over. But, because of that inconsistency, I didn’t lose a lot of weight.
Now im on my own because it was so expensive. I am trying to get some results back of bloodwork because my prolactin ajd DHEA was high. So, waiting for bloodwork to come back and see if I have the tumor in my brain that they remove (common with high prolactin.) I’ve read that it can be a reason why you hold on to weight. I’m kind of hoping I have the tumor because maybe that’s a big reason why I struggle so much.
For the past two weeks, I have been in a deficit and working out 5-6 days a week. I have shed a little weight which I’m sure is water weight. But then, this past weekend we went out with friends because we recently moved and haven’t seen them in a while. I drank a little too much and we ate a lot. Now, I’m up in weight. I had one meal that day (bad meal) and like 5 drinks.
I just feel like I won’t ever take it seriously. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’m desperate to lose weight but obviously not enough to stay in a damn deficit. I always hear “Oh it’s ok! It’s new! You’re never going to be perfect” but at this rate I think I HAVE TO. I am getting married next October. I need to lose at least SOME weight. I don’t know what to do. I am so close to considering weight loss medicine. But I also have health anxiety and can’t imagine how that would hurt my body.
I just need advice, support, anything.
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