Hello fellow loseit'ers (loseit'ites? losers? unsure.)
I feel the need, after discovering this community and offering several comments on various posts on this forum, to introduce myself. I am 34 years old, male, I live in the United States. I have been blessed with a sound mind, resources, a good upbringing. I am in a loving marriage. I have 4 kids. I make a good living in IT. I have a problem. I have an addiction to eating.
I've always been "big boned". At 12 I was my current adult height and probably 170-180 lbs. I binged my way to 285 lbs as a teenager, then lost 90 lbs in my 20's and joined the military. I struggled to maintain my weight for 6 years while I was in, working out like a madman and eating healthy 3-4 days a week and binge eating for the rest. I can eat like it's my job. I have been known to polish off a large pizza and a half at a sitting. I got out of the military. I became sedentary. I ate like every meal was my last meal. I ate to assuage every insecurity, to fight off the depression, to celebrate every milestone in my life. I shot back up to 345 lbs.
Two years ago, I started noticing that after every meal, I would get really sleepy. I was having trouble breathing. I got sick all the time. I avoided activities that I once loved. Walking up a staircase would cause heavy breathing, then a coughing fit. I felt like the whole world was looking at me, judging me. I couldn't keep up with my kids (I had three at the time) . The doctor told me that I was pre-diabetic, my cholesterol was concerning for a 32 year old. Then one night, I had a dream. My kids, albeit slightly older, struggling to help my wife make ends meet. Bitter and angry at me for leaving them. Not understanding why I hadn't taken better care of myself. It was a short, but vivid dream. I couldn't explain it. My family are all big people, but heart disease isn't something that I've lost my family members to...but I died of a heart attack in my dream. I don't dream, hardly ever. I am a deep sleeper and dreams are rare. So this stuck out for some reason.
I made changes. I discovered Keto (Which isn't a bad option for someone that's got blood sugar problems.) I learned about CICO. I lost 40 lbs. I started going to the gym. I had no idea what I was doing. I walked on the treadmill, I used the elliptical. I stayed far away from the scary people moving heavy objects at the other end of the gym. Every day was a struggle. I stayed at it for about 2 months. And then, one of the scary people at the other end of the gym came and talked to me. Said, "Hey I've noticed your determination. I can help you." He taught me about Caloric deficits, introduced my to HIIT, Complexes, Kettlebells, Olympic style weight lifting. I found some things i enjoyed. People have noticed the changes in my physique. To date I have lost 100lbs. But I have also gone from moving a 95lb barbell as a struggle, to being able to deadlift 420lbs. Being able to work out for an hour to an hour and a half solid with little rest.
I have changed and adapted my habits several times in the past 2 years. I'd say I'm not even on what I would call a diet anymore. I have changed my relationship with food. I eat clean, mostly. Lots of lean protein, lots of vegetables, a couple pieces of fruit a day, black coffee, unsweetened tea, I drink a gallon of water every day. I rarely eat out. People look at me like I'm crazy, like I've adapted this unattainable, spartan lifestyle. They say things like, I could never give up my <insert trigger food here>. I don't understand anymore. The changes have been gradual, but I don't know that person that I was anymore. I can still remember him and the way he acted, but I don't understand the motivations that drove him to the point that he was at. I still fear him sometimes.
I am one of you. I have been there. I am still there sometimes. I've struggled with being unhealthy and overweight from my childhood. I have yo-yo'd. I have fad dieted. I have binged. I became someone that I despised. And I have changed. And I'm here telling you that you can change too. Here are some things I've learned.
- The only failures in your journey are the things that you fail to learn from.
- Every day is day one.
- Yesterday does not matter today.
- You can't compete with anyone else, they are on a different path than you, they have different life experience and different strengths, you can only compete with yourself.
- Write things down. Goals, achievements, successes, failures...especially failures.
- Make honest self-assessments of where you are based on what you have written down.
- Make a change. It doesn't have to be a monumental, earth shattering change, just a small one. Walk up the stairs. Stop putting sugar in your morning coffee. Keep making changes.
- Be a slightly better you than the you that you were yesterday. Success is incremental. This is a long journey.
I have 50 lbs to go to my new weight loss goal. I want to run a Spartan race this coming spring. I want to help people the way that I have been helped. I know I can't help everyone here. I know that the path I have followed will not work for everyone here. If I can help, encourage, motivate, teach, or constructively criticize even one of you...
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