TL;DR: After being on "diets" for most of my life, I switched to intuitive eating and have lost almost 10 lbs this month.
I've been "dieting" in one form or another since I was 9-10 years old (41 now). It's been hammered in that I need to count every bite/lick/taste and weigh/measure every food--FOREVER--if I had any hope in losing weight. I always knew that tracking sucked the joy out of eating, but figured that was what I get for being fat.
Last year I'd just fucking had it. I became heavier than ever and got so sick of the ups and downs and feeling so defeated. I decided to quit trying to lose weight; I'd rather stay fat than continue to fail at every weight loss plan. I quit counting calories/tracking, and quit weighing myself. I did my best to eat reasonably and continue with the good food habits I'd already established.
Curiosity got the better of me about 6 months later, and I stepped on the scale. It was the exact same number as it had been the last time I weighed myself. Maintaining for 6 months with no measuring/tracking/counting is nothing to sneeze at. It told me that I could trust myself and my food choices.
I spent the next couple of months cleaning up my diet a bit more, and also being a little stricter with intermittent fasting (generally do 18-20 hours a day). At the beginning of the month, I doubled-down on IF, and have tried to cut back portions here and there. I do dance and barre workouts for exercise, 30-60 minutes most days, nothing real strenuous right now due to my high weight, but I'm feeling stronger. I've lost almost 10 lbs this month doing this.
Most importantly, I have a normal relationship with food for the first time in my entire life. None of the conventional diet advice I've followed fits me. I do best with a higher-fiber (30-50 g/day) and higher fat diet (if I had to estimate, fat makes up 40-50% of my calories most days). No commercial diet plan would advocate combining fat and carbs, but it makes my digestive tract happy (my digestion is the healthiest it's been--ever). I don't track or count calories, but loosely calculate fiber grams. I'm losing weight and feel very comfortable.
I can still work in treats, as long as I don't throw more at my digestive tract than it can handle. Last week I went out to lunch with a friend and had a Philly cheesesteak sandwich and some onion rings. I noticed later that it's the first time I recall not feeling guilty at all, and I didn't start thinking about how I would atone for eating it (and if I follow my natural hunger signals, I tend to eat more lightly the rest of the day after a meal like that).
In any case, if you have been stuck and "tried everything," maybe it's time to give intuitive eating a try. I got my mental health in order, which has helped reduce the disordered eating (and tracking/counting calories was an epic trigger for me, which took me until last year to figure out). We all have different needs, and you may have the answer within you.
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