Tuesday, October 19, 2021

I feel like my mind is lying to me :(

when people say weight loss is like 90% mental, it truly is. I've been on this journey really for 10 months, minus the summer break i took and restarted in August. But, i recently started a job on campus and we have to wear these shirts. i fit into a large pretty comfortably but i have really interesting love handles and sort of a back butt so it fits tight around that area. My arms are also a bit bigger so I look broader up top. I'm a female jsyk. Anyways, I've been feeling pretty confident for a few weeks now, my body is getting leaner but the scale hasn't moved (which kinda makes me sad). Yesterday as I was putting on an xl work shirt cause i'm so used to wearing everything oversized and then while i was serving food, I could see myself in the reflection of like the windows and idk my heart just shattered and sank. I felt like I was lying to myself or that my mind was playing tricks with me. Some days I feel like my old 140 lbs self. other days I feel extremely large and to make things worse, I go to a pretty athletic school so all the girls are always in like gym clothes and super lean. I feel like the outlier. It's so hard going out in the world while trying to loose weight. Some days I get really excited that that one pair of jeans fits looser, or that I've improved doing that one weight lifting exercise, or my face looks leaner. Other days I wonder why people even talk to me, I constantly think if people are mean, is it because of my weight, I feel embarrassed by my own appearance some days, I avoid mirrors, and I wish I could just be invisible.

How does anyone deal with this? Eventually the fat will come off if I stay consistent but today I woke up today and haven't been able to shake this horrible feeling all day so I've just been laying in bed almost in tears. I have to go outside today and go to a load of classes to go to this afternoon until the evening and I just don't have the mental strength to be present and in public.

submitted by /u/No-Communication4384
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/3jgp7y5

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