How to deal with the disdain you have for your body, while losing weight and not sabotaging yourself

I have body dysmorphia, I was diagnosed with it after I I lost 100 pounds. My weight loss doctor gave me the advice of literally not looking at myself due to the severe mental stress I would get from looking at my body. I don’t know if that’s good advice but since I dealing with losing weight again, I’m struggling even more with the hatred I have for the way my body looks and how it will look when I lose weight.

I’m dealing a lot with comparison but specifically with my issue with the fact that I don’t and probably won’t have the body I want even when I lose weight. For example I think I have an apple/inverted triangle body shape and it’s dang near impossible for me to wear a dress without my stomach spilling over my hips and making me look like Igor. And I have massive back fat, and I’m so sure when I lose weight the fat I have back there will just deflate but won’t go away unless I get surgery and even if I get surgery I’m still going to be unhappy BECAUSE of the fact that I’m not naturally curvaceous.

Here’s the issue, my mind is set, even if I’m not the shape I want to be, I will still lose weight for my health. But I’m having a harder time this time with losing weight and being patient. When ever I see my stomach showing I get like extremely angry, like wanting to punch something angry, most of the time I just resort to bawling my eyes out. Or I’ll see how massive my arms are or how big my back is and I literally have had to put a sheet over my mirror cause there’s only so much I can take before I get deeply depressed about the way my body looks.

I know losing weight healthily takes time, but I’m literally going insane everyday with how my clothes fit and how I literally can see my stomach everyday and I look like I’m pregnant. My family has gotten on to me for dressing like I don’t care about how I look…but I literally don’t and when I try, everything looks bad in me.

I have heard that you have to accept yourself or the best thing to do is accepting who you are before losing weight and I have accepted the fact I won’t ever feel pretty in my body, and atm the reason I want to really lose weight is for health purposes and also to calm down my body dysmorphia. I really would love some advice, how did you guys deal with the hatred of how you look while losing weight?

submitted by /u/Logic_Wondernaut
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