I apologize in advance for the length of this post, but I need help and don’t know where to turn. This sub has been amazing for me, so hopefully someone can give me a little help.
A little background. I was never overweight as a child, but my dad had a fear of me being fat so at a young age (7) I was relegated to the basement to run on the treadmill alone and my food was heavily restricted. In high school I would hide in my room to eat (I didn’t want to disappoint my dad, so even though I was doing it in secret, I made sure they were “healthy” foods, so basically any fat-free cookies or goodies). My weight ballooned when I was well into adulthood. I ballooned up to 270’s/5.9 F. Over the last 13 months I’ve lost 100 lbs, gained 25 back, lost 30, gained 27 again and I’m down 10 of those again. If anything, this tells you I have a lot to work on. I don’t have my binge eating under control. I still don’t like to eat in front of people. Just a lot to work on. I have a horrible relationship with food, but am aware what a healthy relationship should look like.
What I need help with is my kids. I have two young kids. 5 and 8. Their whole lives I spent trying to instill good eating habits and trying to instill a healthy relationship with food: You don’t need to clear your plate, you should only eat until not hungry (not eating until full). Plenty of water. We talk about calories, how eating different types of food makes you feel physically, etc. What foods give you energy, strength, etc. So this is not every time they eat, but I want them to be cognizant of what goes into their bodies. Although I don’t typically buy junk food to keep around the house (chips, cookies, etc), I also don’t restrict any foods; however, I do moderate it (for example, I’d rather have them eat 4 M&M,s occasionally as a snack, than prohibit any chocolate and they binge on it at someone else’s house..or worse develop my horrible habit of eating in secret). They make sure to always have something healthy on their plates, and they know what it is and what it means. The problem is that they are both overweight. I feel like I’ve failed as a parent. I feel like a horrible piece of shit. I see teenagers post on here about their amazing weight loss stories and most know that the their horrible habits was their parents fault initially. They weren’t taught the proper things to eat, etc. Because of how I was raised, I’ve worked so hard to at least instill the right habits, but I’m failing. I’m a horrible parent and I don’t know how to fix it.
My oldest eats very healthy, but has an issue with portion control. For example, he’ll eat a whole avocado. He could probably eat 3 avocados if I let him. My youngest I think may have a sensory issue with food and will only eat a very limited number of foods (either that or just really stubborn). I talked to his doctor about it this morning and he suggested we give it a 3 month trial trying to get this under control and hopefully it’ll help with his digestive issues as well (problems going to the bathroom, I’m assuming for lack of fiber in veggies, since the only veggie he eats is spinach. The only fruit he’ll touch is oranges). If this doesn’t improve he will be sent to a specialist that deals with sensory issues.
I need help with helping them lose weight, especially with my youngest since he’s so stubborn on what he’ll eat. Usually if he doesn’t want to eat I won’t give in to let him have crap, but he’ll just live on milk. I’d rather die than have them face the struggles that I’ve had to face having such an unhealthy relationship with food and being obese.
Obviously what I’ve been doing isn’t working. And I feel horrible. Does anyone have any advice, tips, etc to help kids lose weight. Any meal plans for kids? What about meal plans to incorporate veggies? How do you get your young kids to eat veggies?
Any help, advice, tips would be appreciated. And maybe reinforcement that I’ve done a shitty job parenting is what I need to hear!
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