I (25F) have been focused on weight loss for the better part of my teen and adult life. I was a chubby kid who just got bigger and bigger (while desperately wishing to be smaller) until I was around 20 and I finally made some headway. I moved abroad alone, learned about CICO and logging, got some hobbies and new friends and ended up losing about 40kg (~90lbs) in 18 months or so. I felt amazing, looked better, I could wear some of the clothes I'd never been able to, it was great! But I'd faltered at around 80kg(~180lbs), and here I've stayed.
Since the rush and excitement of that first weight loss, I've been making a conscious effort to lose the rest of the weight and reach my goals:
- 79.9kg - Below 80kg for the first time ever!!
- 77kg - Technically a healthy BMI (for the first time ever!!)
- 70kg - My original 'Ultimate Goal Weight'.
- 65kg - My post-weight-loss UGW.
However, it's been nearly 3 years now since the losses tapered off and I haven't been able to maintain any kind of focus. Most of the time, when I'm feeling optimistic and in control, I make good choices and generally I eat a very healthy diet. I try to keep it plant-based and, while I don't log my food anymore, I did it for long enough that I developed a calorie-radar of sorts which I base my decisions on. But then there are the days, and the weeks, and even the entire months, when the Munchosaurus Rex comes out.
The Munchosaurus Rex doesn't care about clothes. Or dates. Or even health and fitness.
The Munchosaurus Rex wants to eat the whole bag of crisps right now. And then all of the chocolate. And the cookies and the soda and anything else he can get his hands on.
The Munchosaurus Rex will walk us all the way to the store just to buy whatever he wants to eat.
The Munchosaurus Rex is living in the moment, caring about neither past nor future, and he's so happy that you wonder how he could ever care about any of those mundane things.
And then he goes back to sleep, and I'm left alone to deal with the consequences and the guilt, thinking maybe I should just letting him take over and be happy.
I've been lurking on this sub for the past 5 years and I've been inspired and motivated and comforted by all of your stories and posts. I know that mostly everybody here has a Munchosaurus Rex (or some other beast) inside them, sabotaging them and holding them back and I know we're all fighting our monsters, but I feel like I've been standing still with mine for too long. In January of this year I weighed myself for the first time in months to see 86.4kg, my highest weight in nearly 3 years. I redoubled my efforts but I just can't seem to overcome this part of me. Every time I take 1 step forward, it pulls me 3 back.
I made this post for a few different reasons:
Number one, accountability. There's a part of me hoping that by giving the beast a name and a story I'll be more able to fight it, and having it here in writing is a reminder to myself that I want to do this.
Two, to ask for your help or advice. Does anybody have a strategy for getting past this drop in focus?
And lastly, I guess maybe for some solidarity with anyone else feeling the same way. I've always found comfort in posts here, even when I didn't reply, so maybe I can make someone feel better?
[link] [comments]
from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/2XTR70H
No comments:
Post a Comment