Sunday, April 19, 2020

Really struggling with permanent change

I’ve had some lifestyle changes the past few years that have impacted my weight. 5’4” 32F and mostly 120-125. Food was never my coping mechanism. Then two things happened: I had a long term relationship with a binge eater, and I moved into my own place with my own kitchen for the first time. And to make things worse, it’s a studio. My bed and fridge are literally feet apart.

I’ve always had anxiety, but I’ve found the act of cooking to really help. I was previously just skinny fat. My appetite decreased when I was stressed, but now things have changed. I’ve been making good progress with body composition this past year but my weight loss is due to working out 5 days a week, drinking lots of water and getting a regular sleep schedule.

I don’t know what to do. My new norm is just to eat too much. I plan meals and set my daily calorie goal at 1100 (wiggle room, really aiming for 1200) but I can’t get permanent change. I can lose 5-10 lbs but it always comes back. I’ve been eating a high protein diet too but I’m still hungry and end up eating a bunch of crap before I go to sleep. I don’t drink alcohol or eat fast food, but there’s this sense of security for me in my kitchen and either cooking or baking. Does anyone have any advice? I’ve been doing CrossFit for over a year now. I know I have muscles I just need to lose 20 lbs for them to be visible!

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