I want to be (ready)… sometimes the stars align and you feel ready, I know it exists because it happened to me once before. I’m guessing most of the time though, there is no such thing as “ready” and you just push on through not knowing what the fuck you’re doing but somehow making it there, to your goal or at least somewhere close to it.
I have 15 pounds to go until I get to a healthy weight, and 22-28 pounds until my ideal range of weight. I realize I’m not currently determined though… but at the same time I DO want to change. I know it’s not going to happen. Without determination does anything happen?
Do you think one day I’ll be ready to lose this excess weight? It’s really weighing down on me, mentally and physically. But I know getting rid of it takes lots of hard work and I’m unable to give that right now. And that sucks. And you know, admitting that I won’t lose weight is a big step for me… Ive hung on to this desire to lose weight for a very long time… maybe it’s time to let it go and revisit it later. But I’m really not sure. Which is why I need you all’s advice.
I know the small things I could do… just to feel good and for my health that won’t lead to weight loss (the thing that I want) unless I’m in a calorie deficit. And I find sometimes just the thought of it all overwhelms me, the thought of conquering my eating disorder, getting better, and losing weight. Living a better life… being a better me… it’s overwhelming, and frustrating.
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